Paper Hearts (Book Five)

Chapter Thirty-Nine

Chapter Thirty-Nine

We're flying through the night

Way up high

The view from here is getting better with you by my side

"Ashton..." I started, moving to stand up out of the booth. I knew I couldn't stay here any longer, the chance of him doing something rash becoming more likely the longer I stayed.

"You lied to me.... You lied." He whispered, looking at the table. His voice was distant, almost as if he was talking to himself rather than to me. He looked at me after a second, his eyes sad and angry.

"Why?" He asked me, the question hanging in the air. I couldn't think of anything to say, the guilt twisting in my stomach as I tried to figure out what to say to him.

"I..."

"I hate you. I hate you and your stupid little family. I hate you all...." He glared at me, his expression hard as he did so.

"I'm sor-"

"Don't say something that you don't mean. I just wanted what you had... I wanted you... I wanted a family... and you can't even give me that. All you ever cared about Harry is yourself. Even before all this nonsense, you were so high above everyone else... you never cared who you hurt." Ashton's eyes softened again, the hurt remaining though as he looked at me. I couldn't look him in the eyes anymore, the guilt almost consuming me.

"I didn't me-"

"Stop saying things you don't mean Harry. You didn't care about me or anyone. You cared about getting laid. You cared about nothing but yourself. You didn't care that I loved you, not then and sure as hell not now. You don't care, so why do you pretend that you do?" He asked me, and once again I wasn't sure what he wanted to hear. I wanted to tell him he was wrong.

I did care.

I cared about Niall.

I cared about my kids.

I cared about the important things in my life.

There was nothing else to care about.

"Look... I'm not proud of my past Ashton, I'm not proud of what I did to a lot of people and I truly am sorry that I hurt you... but you have to let it go." I said, feeling almost like I was pleading with him. Ashton chuckled, shaking his head as he grabs the salt shaker.

"You're not sorry Harry." Ashton said, flipping the salt shaker upside down and pouring it onto the table. I watched him curiously, not really sure why he was doing this.

"Then why do you keep trying to be with me Ashton? If you don't think I'm sorry... Why won't you leave me alone?" I almost sounded desperate, looking at him as if he would actually give me all the answers.

"Because I want you to hurt. I want you to feel the way I did when you left me. I wanted to hurt you.... and the only way I could think to do that was to ruin everything you have." Ashton looks at me again, his eyes innocent and wide much like a child's.

I knew it was all an act though. Ashton was anything but innocent.

He was insane.

But yet I still didn't understand why.

"Why though? Why did you lie about Laci and the rape? Why did you lie?" Ashton let out a laugh, shaking his head before looking at me.

"You lied to me, so naturally I lied to you. It's not that complicated Harry." Ashton rolled his eyes before turning back to the pile of salt. He started to draw a heart in it, but only blew it all away after drawing the jagged lines.

"You're f ucking crazy." I whispered, running a hand through my hair as looked at him. Ashton laughed again, shrugging as if it was no big deal. I honestly didn't understand him, and that was frustrating.

"Maybe I am, but at least I'm not lying to myself." Ashton stood up from the booth now, making me back up in fear that he was going to do something. I looked at him in confusion though, not quite sure what he meant by that.

I wasn't lying.

To anyone, especially not myself.

"Wh-"

"Don't even bother asking a question that you already know the answer to. Now this has been a wonderful waste of my time, I'll be leaving now. This will be the last you see of me." Ashton kissed my cheek, making my stomach churn but I still didn't get what he meant.

"That's it? You tell me the truth and you just leave? Just like that?" I asked, completely baffled by the situation. Ashton just smiled, already walking towards the door.

"Why does it suddenly matter to you?" Ashton asked, a smirk almost on his face as he looked at me.

"I..." And for what felt like the hundredth time today... I was at a loss for words. I didn't know what to say, and it appeared that Ashton knew that.

"Goodbye Harry." He walks away without another word, leaving me completely dumbfounded and confused as to what the hell just happened.

Had Ashton actually given up?

Was I finally free of him?

But something told me that he had been lying again. He had spent far too much time ruining my life to just disappear like that...

Something wasn't quite right.

And I wasn't sure what.

-----------------------------------

Interesting.

What do you guys think? Is Ashton really gone for good?

Anyways, big thank you to @DorkshireTeas for the wonderful Fanart in the multimedia. It's all the kids of Shiver and I'm in love with it!

Hope you guys have a good day!

Comment

And

Vote

Connie xx