soulmates - yoonmin

6| Yoongi

Not only did the receptionist's heart sting at the sight, but it also caused tears to run down a certain hyung's face who was still standing frozen just around the corner. Facing the spot where Jimin previously kneeled. 

His heart ached in a way he never experienced before and the only thing the mint-haired boy wanted to do was to hold this fragile little boy until he stopped hurting. 

He felt a strong attraction towards the younger. For quite some time now, actually. He tried to ignore it. He tried to bury his disgusting gay feelings deep deep inside of him, as always.  

But with Park Jimin, he didn't manage to just forget about it. 

His friends made sure to encounter the younger again and again, violating his body and mind in a way, Yoongi felt responsible for. And he hated that feeling.

Guilt. 

Yoongi felt incredibly guilty for starting it all, for punching him in the face.
He felt incredibly guilty that he never said anything to make his friends stop.
He felt incredibly guilty because Jimin never shed a tear. Never. 

It hurt.
It hurt to see the younger suffering that way. It made Yoongi suffer along with him.

And he was beyond embarrassed that he was not able to stop any of it. 

But Yoongi was afraid. Afraid of losing everything. 

His friends.
His family.
His home.

He was afraid to lose it all because of his gay disgusting ass.

Everyone around him thought that being gay was a disgrace, a sin. Even if he didn't feel that way, he was raised that way - which only made it worse. 

He didn't want to be attracted to men.
He didn't want to think that Jimin was the most beautiful human being he ever layed eyes on. He hated it and got sick immediately after waking up from a dream where he kissed the younger male a couple of days ago.  

He hated himself for his preferences, but he couldn't stop thinking about Park Jimin. Whatever it was that put him under the younger boy's spell, he hated it but loved it at the same time.

If he were to call it a crush, he'd never know what to make of it.

But that warm bubbly feeling, whenever the other male looked at him drove him crazy. His soft plump lips. His rosy cheeks. His small chubby hands. He loved every little thing about the beautiful orange-haired boy.

And yet, there he stood, quietly enduring his crush's heart-breaking sorrow after the younger had apologized. Apologized!

Another flood of guilt and heartache hit him and he, too, crouched down to clutch onto the fabric over his heart, burying his tear-stained face between his knees to let it all out. 

A faint pain hovered over his stomach and heart, as he continued to listen to the younger male's sobs, and he was sure that this was not normal at all.

Park Jimin, what the hell are you doing to me?

He knew he was the reason for the younger's condition. 
He knew he was the reason for his weightloss. 
Hell, he even knew that he was responsible that the world never saw the younger's incredible heart-warming smile anymore. That eye-smile that he loved seeing only months ago and never saw anymore. And that thought alone made his heart ache in a way, Yoongi never even wished his greatest enemy to experience. 

These faint feelings adding more pain to what he already felt, made it hard to breathe. He knew he deserved it. It was all on him, and he knew he needed to fix this. 

He needed to bring back Jimin's smile.