†Only Mine†

Behind Closed Doors

{Summary-John finally finds out why you really drown yourself in alcohol}

John took you home after your long hot shower together. He lent you a dark green sweatshirt which came halfway down your thighs with a black boxer to wear since your clothes were ripped by the baptist himself.

The drive home was comfortably silent, you looked at the early morning scenery pass by, the cool wind made goosebumps appear on your uncovered skin but it was a pleasant feeling.

As you got closer to your home, you couldn't help the anxious that was building deep in you belly second by second. John set his warm palm over your cold knee to stop it's bouncing. You gave him a smile and intertwined your hand with his before bringing it up to your mouth and giving it a swift kiss.

He looked at you and smiled, rubbing his thumb over your skin. "I know you're nervous my dear, I can feel it." You sighed sadly, cause you knew exactly how this was gonna go.

"My parents won't let me marry you, John. They already set their mind on who they want me to marry. It's just who they are and they always have to get their way or all hell breaks loose, especially my dad. He wants the perfect daughter and son in law with lots of fucking children."

"It's your choice dear, they can't force you to marry someone you don't want."

"I thought it wasn't tho? If it's my choice then I wouldn't be marrying anyone." His hand tightened unconsciously but loosened as soon as you whimpered.

"Joseph wants all the young people to get marry so their "needs" won't drive them to sinful paths." His tone turned mocking and you looked at him suspiciously.

"Is your brother also forcing you to marry?" He glanced away from the road to you and gave a small nod. "Did he also choose for you?"

"I-" he sighed loudly "I chose a girl I've been sleeping with. Holly Pepper. Joseph asked me to settle on someone soon or the gates will be shut to me and she is the best choice. She's a good listener so it won't be hard living with her, not that I be seeing her all day, it's just at night when I come back home from my work. And her family have been in the project from the start, she's loyal to the cause." A pang of jealousy spread over you and you let go of his hand harshly before turning back at the scenery. Thinking of how much more experience she must have, or more mature. No one wanted a clueless girl who had drinking problems in such a young age. She must definitely a believer and probably worship's the seed's like they are her god. How can you compete over her.

"Why do you want to marry me John? You clearly must have lots of women like Holly, throwing themselves at you left and right hmm, they all respect you and your brother's but you chose someone who is inexperienced or doesn't even believe in your brother. So why choose me?" You asked with a harsh tone making him look at you questioningly.

"Because I found a better choice, and I don't want to marry sluts." You made a disapproving noise.

"So it's only for my virginity that you decided I'll be the perfect wife who hasn't lost her innocence."

"Of course not rave-"

"Would you still wanted to marry me if I wasn't a virgin, or if I was exactly like Holly?" His mouth draw in a hard line, not answering you. "What if I don't want to live with a slut myself John? You have basically fucked every girl in the project so why should I want to spend the rest of my miserable life with someone who has sex addiction or anger issue is the biggest problem." He pressed on the breaks harshly making you slide forward and nearly hit your head on the dashboard if it wasn't for your belt buckle and the hard press of your feet, which you regretted immediately as pain shot through your ankle to your calf and knees, making you scream out. "What the fuck Joh-"