ఌ𝙻𝚞𝚜𝚝..ఌ

•Chapter Six•

{This Chapter does include a few triggers. them being: self harming, mentions of suicide, self hate, mentions of sexual assault/harassment/r@pe, mentions of past murders, and mentions of verbal abuse. please continue with caution. if you want to skip this chapter, you can. it's completely optional to the story, and i'll put three '⚠️' at the end and give a short summary of the chapter. i'll tell you right now that the "mentions of r@pe and past murders" are from Adrien's mother. this is just an AU, don't take any of this to heart; none of this story is "canon." as i've stated before, because i don't like the newer seasons. Thank you for reading this. i wish you all a good reading experience. goodbye.}

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[One Week After the Most Recent Chapter]
[Adrien Agreste]
the shower was nice, especially after getting screamed at.

•1 Hour Ago•
•This conversation is between Adrien and his father, U is Mr Agreste and I is Adrien•

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME ADRIEN!? YOU- YOU HOOKED UP WITH THAT LAHIFFE KID!? I TOLD YOU TO STAY AWAY FROM HIM!"

"it wasn't a hook up! it's not like he FUCKED ME THEN JUST LEFT!"

"oh really? i DOUBT THAT! cause a whore like you would just love that kind of treatment, huh!?"

"you did not just slut-shame me!"

"i did Adrien, i never expected for my son to be such a f-"

"you don't get to use that word."

"fine, i never expected my son to turn out just like his mother."

"are you calling mom a whore?"

"i am. cause that's what she was!"

"she was r@ped, father! you know that!"

"it doesn't matter, she was a slut just like you."

•Back to now•
he's such an ass..

i'm brushing my teeth right now, i hate the taste of mint toothpaste.. i hate the taste of mint tbh.

"you're just like your mother, a whore."
"maybe i shouldn't have gotten that guy arrested. maybe he would've showed you what it's like to be into men!"
"you deserved it."

my eyes linger to my razor, i rarely use it to actually shave my legs- or anything. i wax now, i don't even know why i have it anymore..

"i wish your suicide attempt worked."
"the only reason your mother ever got a chance to live was because she murdered the guy who "r@ped" her. even though she knew she liked it."

it was true, my mother did murder her r@pist.. then died a few weeks afterwards. she didn't like it. maybe her body did, but she hated every second of it. i know it, i was there. the screaming still in my head.. so is Natalie's when she found me after my over dose attempt.

my eyes stare at the razor, thinking about every word my father has ever told me. it hurt a lot, when i was about- 14/15, he started body shaming me. i started hating it after that, that's why i wore what i wore. why i hated modeling, why i hated the Chat Noir suit, why i hated him, and this house, and every little thing he gets away with. i mean, he has a dead body in our basement. that's illegal.. so is child abuse.

my feet moved without my mind making them, going towards the razor. i sat down on the toilet and started taking out the razor. it took a few minutes, but i got it. i moved my fingertip along the blade, looking at the old blood stains on it. most of them from shaving accidents in all honestly. i wanted to know how sharp it actually was, so i dug it into my thigh. i haven't put my pants on yet, so i was in a T shirt and my underwear. i felt the blade cut each layer of skin at a time. it hurt, sure, but it also felt.. good? i don't know, but i know it felt good because i was punishing myself. one line of blood, then another, and another came out of my thighs until both were covered in blood. a lot of it dropped off my thighs onto the toilet seat, then onto the floor. some of the lines deeper then the others, some going towards the inner part of my thighs, some small, some large. i don't know how many were actually there, mainly cause all the blood. but that's when i looked at my arms, completely spotless. i debated on to do it or not, but the words that my father said to me were pounding in my head.

one cut, then another one, then a deep one, then a normal one. after a few minutes, my left arm was filled with cuts. blood was everywhere.

one year. i had been clear for one. whole. year. i fucked it up, i fucked it up s o bad. i wanted to go back, to put the razor back in the shower, to finish getting ready for bed, to go to bed and still be a year clean. i started crying, i hated myself for relapsing. i felt disgusting, what would Vincent say? he's gonna find out one way or another. i'm not gonna be able to do a photo shoot until the heal.. editing out scars is difficult, especially when my father likes seeing the pictures the day of my photo shoot. god.. i just..

i hate myself.
i miss Nino..
he'd hate me if he found out i wasn't clean anymore.
...

⚠️⚠️⚠️
so, basically what happened was Gabriel and Adrien fought. Gabriel $lut-shamed Adrien for "hooking up" with Nino. Adrien ends up relapsing from being a year clean and starts over thinking.

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[To Be Continued..]
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