Hockey Rules (Bucky Barnes AU x NHL)

Oh, the Guilt

*~* Emma *~*

We stop in front of Bucky's hospital room. Ryan and Steve are holding my hands and helping me move. I stop. "I can't, guys. I wasn't there for him. I can't go in there."

"Emma, he's been asking for you." Ryan says. "Why are you so hesitant?"

"Because he looked for me and I hid. I was hiding from Alex." I showed them my phone.

"Em, this isn't your fault," Steve says. "We'll show this to the league; we'll protect you."

"But what do I say to Bucky?"

"Right now, just be there. We'll explain everything else to him later, ok?"

"Ok," I mumble. We open the door. Bucky's eyes are closed, his left arm in a cast. I walk over to him and sit on his right side. I push some of his hair out of his face. "I'm sorry, superstar."

His eyes snap open and he smiles. "Emma."

"Oh, Bucky," I say as I lay my head on his stomach, scared to hurt him. He strokes my hair.

"I'm ok, doll," he coos. "I'm ok." He looks over at Steve. "Hey punk."

"Hey jerk. Thanks for the scare."

"Not like I wanted to. Do we know what happened?"

"We have some ideas but not sure. The league wants to talk to with us in the morning."

"Have you talked to my mom? I know she was watching."

"I called her. I'm going to call her again after we leave. The rest of the team is here, and Ryan is right outside."

"Ok, Thanks for everything Stevie. Doll, are you ok?"

"No, I was really scared James. You didn't get up and I just, I...."

"Doll, its ok. Steve, can you give us a minute?"

"Sure, pal. I'll just call your mom and send Ryan in a few." He walks out.

"Emma, what's wrong?" He looks at me with his stormy blue-gray eyes; he knows that I'm holding back.

"If I tell you, promise that you won't be mad?"

"Promise, love. What's wrong?"

I sighed. "I got a message from Alex before the game." I showed him my phone. "I saw you looking for me, but I didn't want to draw attention in case Alex was looking. I'm sorry love, I wasn't there for you." I look down trying not to cry.

Bucky looked at me and smiled. "Doll, just because I can't find you doesn't mean I don't know that you care. Look at me, doll." I look up and a tear rolls down my face. "I'm not mad at you. I think you did the right thing. And you're here now, that's all that matters. I could only think of you when I woke up."

"I love you so much Bucky. I'm so sorry."

"Emma, you are my light, guiding me home. This isn't your fault love. You helped me come back. Come here."

He pulled me into the bed with him so he could hold me on his right side. He rubbed my back, and I could feel myself falling asleep.

*~* Bucky*~*

Ryan came in and noticed Emma was asleep in bed with me. "I mean, that's the best nurse service I've ever seen," he teased.

"Shut up Ry," I said trying to keep quiet. "I'm injured and I just needed a better blanket," as I pull her closer. "Thanks Ryan, for everything."

"You gave us a scare there, James. I'm glad to see you awake and moving. How do you feel?"

"Honestly, like I got hit by a truck. But thanks for getting my girl here. She told me about Pierce."

"The guilt she was feeling, about not waving to you, it was rough."

"I could tell. What happened man? Doc said that Rumlow checked me?"

"Yea, it was brutal. I could hear Steve yelling for you and Emma screaming from the top. You were out for at least five minutes."

"I don't even remember being hit. Why did he come at me like that? How did the game end?"

"Steve and I have a theory but let's not talk about it right now. I don't want Emma to worry. We lost unfortunately, but I'm gonna let you get some rest. The rest of the guys are coming up in twos to see you tonight for a few minutes. Emma's dad is here too."

"Thanks Cap. Can you send Steve and her dad first?"

"Sure thing. Rest up, Bucky. We need you." Ryan patted my arm and left.

I stroked Emma's hair and closed my eyes while I waited for someone else to show up. I was just happy to feel her in my arms, glad that I wasn't taken from her.

"Buck? Its Steve and Scott," Steve said peeking in.

"Hey guys. She's asleep. I don't want to wake her."

"Son, how're you feeling?" Scott asked.

"Sore and tired." Emma shifted slightly and I tightened my grip on her.

"I bet." Scott smiled. "You gave us a scare."

"Do you think they will be ok if Emma stayed with me tonight? I don't feel like being away from her right now," I asked.

"I'll ask," Steve said.

"Yeah, I'll bring some stuff for her in the morning," Scott offered.

"Thanks Scott. I love her and she makes me feel better."

"We'll talk to the doctors and let you get some rest, son."

The rest of the team came in pairs, just a few minutes at a time to make sure I was ok. The love this team had for each other was great and I was happy to find a family in Anaheim. After an hour or so, a nurse came in to give me a stronger pain med so I could get to sleep. She threw a blanket over us and said, "that is the sweetest thing I have seen. I'll try not to bother you guys so much. Get some rest."

"Thank you, ma'am." I felt the drugs start to work. I kissed Emma on the crown of her head and closed my eyes.