✦ 𝙣𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙚𝙨 | 𝘸𝘢𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘢𝘣𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘶𝘵𝘰

012 | loss

HARUTO

Two weeks of not being able to sleep well made me feel like a living dead. It made me feel and look like a real mess.

I became skinny and pale, making me look unhealthy. My friends were all worried on why I have been like this for two weeks.

I still eat normally, but not having enough sleep is clearly the reason of me feeling light all the time.

You might think that insomnia is the reason behind my lack of sleep, but it is clearly not because of that.

I force myself to not go to sleep.

Why? Because my nightmares are getting much worse each and every night.

Before, I am only having these nightmares two nights every week. But now, it haunts me every night.

Yejin is still present on each of my nightmares. I mean, her presence does not bother me, but the events that are happening in my nightmares, which involves me and her, are literally killing me.

There was that one time that we tried to kill each other. Seriously, that made me sick.

Jumping off from my bed, I quickly headed to my closet to grabbed a hoodie. I ran down the stairs, sliding my hoodie on as I headed outside the house.

Usually, I would go out at two in the morning. But since I don't want to sleep, I went out at midnight.

Destination? The usual convenience store where Junkyu and Chaemin work as part timers.

I finally arrived on the place, seeing both Chaemin and Junkyu by the counter. Entering by the entrance door, I saw two people seated on one of the tables inside.

"Haruto?" I heard Junkyu called out. "Why are you out here again this early?"

"I don't want to sleep," I briefly responded.

"Hey, Watanabe."

I turned my head to the table where I saw the two people were seated.

There seated Hyunsuk with a small smile on his lips after he called me out. I'm pretty sure that the one who is seated across him is Yedam. I can't see his face because his head is buried in between his two arms, but I can tell that it is him just by the built of his body and the color of his hair.

"Hey," I greeted back. "What's with those?" I asked Hyunsuk, pointing a finger at the bottle and cans of beer on their table.

Hyunsuk let out a sigh as he ran a hand through his black hair. "Yedam's parents, they went like this," he said, slashing his index finger on his neck after.

I immediately understood what Hyunsuk is trying to say, so I immediately apologized. He only gave me a smile and mouthed out that it's okay because I didn't know.

"Chaemin called me to accompany Yedam since she could not handle him," Hyunsuk continued. "Yedam was already drunk when I got here. He doesn't even want to let go on hugging Chaemin, but the girl still has to work."

"He has been here since eight," Chaemin said from the counter. "I thought he was just acting strange, but I realized that he wasn't when he began crying hard whilst hugging me."

I suddenly thought about Yejin, so I decided to ask Hyunsuk.

"How about Yejin?"

I saw how Hyunsuk scratched his nape with his lips pursed together.

"Well, she doesn't know yet," he responded, making me furrow my eyebrows.

"Yedam should tell her as soon as possible," Junkyu spoke. "Haruto, why don't you bring her here?"

I looked back to Junkyu on the counter with a finger pointing towards myself.

"Me?" I asked. "Why me? I don't even know where they live."

"I'll pick her up."

Before the three of us could even react, Hyunsuk was already out of the convenience store with his car key.

"Haruto, have you eaten your dinner?" Junkyu asked.

I nodded my head as a response, but his face is showing that he doesn't believe me.

"I am telling the truth," I reassured him.

I saw how Chaemin nudged Junkyu's side, he then let out a sigh.

"I'll let you pass this time."

"Junkyu, stop being like that to Haruto."

"What? I'm just─"

"Shush! Stop treating Haruto like that, you got me?"

"Geez, Chaemin."

"What was that, Junkyu?"

"Haha, nothing!"

I did not bother to interrupt Junkyu and Chaemin bickering by the counter. Instead, I sat on the seat across Yedam where Hyunsuk sat earlier before he left.

There are still cans of beer that remained unopened on top of the table, but the bottles of beer were all empty.

Yedam must've drank them just to let his feelings out.

My eyes landed on Yedam when he suddenly moved before his head shot up, his tired orbs meeting my cold ones.

"Hey, Haruto," he chuckled. "Can I ask you some?"

With a smile, I nodded my head. I let Yedam took his own time to gather himself since he just woke up.

From the corner of my eye, I saw a familiar car stopped outside the convenience store. Seconds after, Hyunsuk and Yejin was already inside the place. But, Yedam did not notice it.

"Haruto," Yedam called out, making me divert my attention back to him.

"What is it?" I asked, but my eyes were on Yejin who stood behind Yedam.

She looks so confused on what is currently happening.

"Tell me," Yedam began as my eyes went back on him. "What did I do to make these bad things happen to us? it is definitely okay if it would only affect me, but to Yejin─ I don't know."

I remained silent, unable to answer Yedam's question.

"If I could just turn back the time, I wanted to be on that fucking plane instead of our parents. I should be the one who is dead right now."

After those words rolled off from Yedam's tongue, he cried again. At that moment, Yejin hugged him from behind as she also cried after hearing what Yedam said.

Me, Junkyu, Chaemin, and Hyunsuk only watched the siblings in silent as we don't want to interfere with them.

All that we can hear is their sobs, along with Yedam apologizing repeatedly to Yejin.