MORE THAN I EVER HOPED Book Two

Bella attempts to kill herself again

                                     Bpov

     I found the meadow, I haven't been to since that day. Edward found me. It looked so different but beautiful with the wild flowers and a tree here and there. I hobbled over and sat down under the tree and leaned back against it. I let the tears just fall from all the memories. Even how Edward found me here.

    Why did this all had to happen to me. I hated what happen to me. Charlie will never be my father, and as for Renee. She may of carried me for 9 months and gave birth to me, but she was never there for me, so how dare anyone call her my mother.  Growing up in that house was horrible. My sister didn't even know.

    Of course I didn't tell her. From when I could remember since I was very little, if I cried my mother would slap me and say there now you really have something to cry about instead of a stupid toy or something. If I spilled anything or I broke something on accident my dad or mom would take the belt out and send me to my room.

  I even got the punishment if my sister did something wrong.
I hid the marks and bruises even from my aunt and uncle. If I got a broken bone I just come up with something. Only because I was to afraid of what would happen if I said anything. Then Edward, always in school, but only from a far though, would always tell his friends to stop picking on me.

    I was always pick on in school, sometimes kids would beat me up and add to more bruises and cuts. I wonder even if under all this if I'm really beautiful, and what Edward said to me was all a lie. I took the ribbon out of my hair and let my hair fall. If this dress wasn't so nice I tear it, to make it as ugly as me.

    It was dark now but I didn't care. I didn't want to go home, where everyone talks like I'm not there, they call Charlie and Renee my mother and father. I can't keep having everyone feeling pity on me because I can't talk and everything happening to me. I really don't know if I can even do this anymore, could I even put Edward through this anymore.

    Edward deserve so much better so much more. I started to hear thunder then the rain came down. This is Michigan for you give it a minute the weather will change. I threw my crutches. I thought of how I could end it all so no one would have to worry about me anymore. I stomped my feet into the ground. Damn that hurt. I lifted my dress up and took the bandages off and the wrap off my ankle.

    I looked at my few stitches. I can pull the stitches. Then maybe.
 I gritted my teeth and pulled one out. Then ripped another. "Bella what are you doing?" I looked up to see Edward there. He knelt down and grabbed my hands. "Stop Bella." I shook my head no! Edward turned and looked up at me. "But why Bella?" I straighten up and tried to pull away from him. "Bella where you really trying to kill yourself?" He shakes his head. Then I remembered the promise I made him.

    I leaned mine head back. "ARRRRRRGGGHH!" I just screamed out to the top of my lungs. So much has built up inside of me. I felt Edward's hand on the side of my face. I grabbed it and tried to pull it away. Edward just finally picked me up and carried me. Edward didn't say a word to word to me. I knew he was angry with me and I didn't blame him I broke my promise to him.

   He sat me in his car. I stared out the window the whole time crying.
When we got home and Edward walked in I heard Esme gasp. "My god what happen to her?" Esme asked. "Mom please not now, she going to need your help and dads!" Was all that Edward said.

    He took me upstairs and laid me on the bed in his room. He walked out. Carlisle was beside me working on my ankle. "Esme I need my bag the stitches are ripped out!" Esme walked back out the door. "Bella , if only you talk and tell me what happened." I shook my head and just cried. Esme finally walked back in. "Carlisle can I talk to you for just a moment please?" She asked.

 I knew then that Edward had told her. After Carlisle and Esme got me changed they walked back out.  I got off the bed and fell to the floor. I had decided to crawl to my room I didn't care if it wasn't fixed yet. I didn't feel it right to be in Edward's room. I was glad everyone was downstairs. I grabbed the pillow and the blanket from my bed. I covered myself up and curled up into a ball.

    Everyone but Edward came in and tried to get me to come out the next couple of days even Rich did.  I refused. I don't even think Edward came in once. I haven't even slept either. I could hear them trying to talk to Edward and tell him to try and talk to me that I haven't eaten or slept in days.

    I finally did fall asleep though on the fifth night. But it was my worse mistake. The dream felt so real. I was reliving my past in my nightmares. But this time there was no one to save me.  All I could do is scream. But no one was there. No one to wake me up.  I just kept screaming. But then I felt something or someone. I was finally able to open my eyes. I saw Edward. I was breathing really heavy and backed away from him.

    I didn't know if he was still mad at me. "I'm not going to hurt you!" He says. "I could never hurt you Bella! I just don't understand why after you promise me you wouldn't." He told me. "That's when I threw my head back against the wall. "AAARRRRRGGGHHHHHHH!" I started to cry again after screaming. I could hear everyone at the doorway. "Stop, don't come in." Edward told them. "Just please let me try to talk to her, just someone bring me my phone please!" I didn't hear anything but myself crying.  Edward slid me his phone and told me to please type. So I did. I first typed what happen at the restaurant why I left. Then what went through my mind and how everything has built up and to never call Charlie or Renee my parents. Plus how I forgot about my promise to him until I saw him. That's why I was screaming because I was so angry with myself. I threw him the phone back. I curled up into a ball and just laid there on the floor again.

  I do not own all my characters in my story Stephanie Meyer does.

    I own the story and the rest of the characters.