MORE THAN I EVER HOPED Book Two

Edward feels like he's losing Bella

                                        Epov

    It felt like it took me forever to drive there. I finally parked and got into the glove compartment for the flash light. By  the time I reached the meadow, even though it was dark it looked different.
At first I thought I took a wrong turn somewhere. The thunder started in the distance and it started to rain.

 I turned around and was going to go try a different way, when I heard a noise. I turned around and was walking up towards a tree. I could hear Bella crying. I walked around the tree and there was Bella ripping her her stitches out. "Bella what are you doing?" I knelt down and grabbed  hands. "Stop Bella." She turned to looked at. "But why Bella?" She sat up and tried to pull away from me. "Bella where you really trying to kill yourself?" She promised me she wouldn't kill herself, but what would make her even do this I don't understand.

    "ARRRRRRGGGHH!" She  screamed out to the top of lungs. I don't know what was going on but I felt anger and I was scared I was going to lose her to that darkness she was in those years ago. I gently put my hand on the side of her face, but she grabbed my hand and pulled it away. I closed my eyes for a moment and gather myself before I lost it. I wasn't going to do that to her. Even though I should. I picked her up and carried her to the car. I kept looking over at Bella who was staring out the window.

    She may have had tears falling, but I knew that look I seen it before years ago. When she slipped away from us. When we got home and I  walked in carrying Bella I heard my mother gasp. "My god what happen to her?" She asked. "Mom please not now, she going to need your help and dads!" Was all that I  said. I carried Bella upstairs and laid her on the bed in my room. I walked out. I couldn't do it, I couldn't watch her go further into that darkness again.

  I sat down on the top of the staircase. I bury my face in my hands.
I feel a hand on my shoulder. "What is going on son?" I look up at my mother with tears in my eyes. She wrapped her arms around me. "I think she was trying to kill herself, she promised me mom, she promised."

 "We will talk later son, I have to get your father bag." I nodded.
I got up and walked downstairs. Everyone asked me what happened. I told them I wasn't sure. I didn't need them to know that she was trying to die again. That was not what her sister April needed to hear.

 My mom and dad came back downstairs. They sat on the couch and told us that all Bella would do is cried. She never signed to them or nothing. "So what does that mean, she not going to tell us what happen to her?" April asked. I turned and looked at April. "She ripped out her stitches April, I don't know why. All I know is I walked up and she was crying and she was ripping them out. When I question her all she did is scream.

  I tried to comfort her but she pushed me away." I explained.  "So what we're just going to let her go back into this depression again into that darkness. I just got my sister back I'm not going to sit back and let this happen again. I can't, I won't do it."  She got up and ran upstairs.

 I buried my face in my hands. Then we could here April upstairs.
"NO, WHERE IS SHE?" We all looked at each other. They got up and ran upstairs. While I stayed behind. Then I heard them trying to get Bella to come out of a room. She must of went back to her own room. I finally got up and walked up back to my own room.

  I looked at the bed that should of had Bella in it but she wasn't there. I finally just turned and went and climbed into the shower.
Nothing I could do could stop what was happening to Bella she pushed me away. I couldn't believe she pushed me away. I leaned against the wall in the shower and just cried.

 I had just gotten the love of my life, and now it seemed that I was losing it. For I kept hearing everyone trying to talk to Bella and trying to get her to eat. They keep trying to get me to go in there but I couldn't. It was to hard to see her that way again.

  After five days my mother came in that night and sat down on the couch next to me. "She finally sleeping. Tiredness I guess finally took over her." Then my mother turned to me with tears in her eyes. "Edward I know you're hurting son and how this is tearing you up inside. But I feel like I'm losing both of you this time and I just can't son." I wrapped my arm around my mother.

    "It's just killing me inside mom. We had just confessed how we feel towards each other and now I feel like I'm losing her again to that darkness. You know what hurts the most, it's knowing she broke her promise not to try and kill herself, but to also pull away. I can't watch that, I just can't do it again." I told my mother.

    "Edward do you think she might be so lost right now, with everything thing that's happening that she doesn't know which way to turn." My mother explained. "I really don't know, maybe." I said laying back my head. "At least think about it and maybe you will be able to help her come back to us." My mother got up and kissed the top of my head. "Good night son, I love you and know you will do the right thing." She said as she walked out.

   

 I laid on the  couch thinking about what my mother told me.
I knew it was late but I just had to figure out for myself do I help her or do I let the person I love most slip away forever. Then I heard Bella start to scream. I knew she was having a nightmare, but this was different.

 I thought she would wake up by now like she always did. Her screams were getting louder and not stopping. I finally got up and walked over to her bedroom. Even though it was dark there was the light someone turned on in the bathroom they shut it enough just to show enough light. I couldn't believe Bella was on the floor. It broke my heart to see her there.

  I knelt down beside her and gently shook her. She didn't wake up at first.    "Come on Bella please wake up!" I said as I gently shook her again. She finally woke up. She was breathing really heavy and she backed away from me. I couldn't believe she just backed away, but I knew she was scared. "I'm not going to hurt you!" I said to her.  "I could never hurt you Bella! I just don't understand why after you promise me you wouldn't." I couldn't finish, I just couldn't say it.

   "AAARRRRRGGGHHHHHHH!" She screamed out and started to cry again. I could hear everyone at the doorway. "Stop, don't come in. Just please let me try to talk to her, just someone bring me my phone please!" She kept crying when my father brought me my phone. When he walked out I slid the phone over to her. "Bella just please type to me and please tell me what's going on."

 She picked it up and started to type. When she slid the phone back to me she covered herself back up and curled up. I was stunned at what I read. How she hated people talking like she wasn't even there. Then that she would never call Charlie or Renee her parents.

  Why she left the restaurant. Why she wanted to end it and how she forgot she made the promise to me until she saw me. She even knew I was mad at her. My mom was right. "Oh Bella, yes I was mad but I was more upset that you broke your promise to me." I picked Bella up.
I wrapped my arms around her. "I didn't realize it built up on you this bad. I mean you can't talk, but you can find a way to always talk to me.
I don't want to lose you Bella, just the thought of it breaks my heart."
She grabbed my phone again. After a few minutes she handed me the phone.

 "You could do so much better then me Edward, I know what you must really think of all my scars on my body. You deserve someone one that's not all scar up, someone that doesn't have a past like mine. You deserve someone not broken."  I dropped the phone. After what I just read really  surprised me. "Isabella Marie Swan, you're not broken. You just can't speak. And don't tell me I can do better when I have all I ever wanted sitting right here in front of me."

 I do not own all my characters Stephenie Meyer does.

    I own the rest of the characters and the story.