★彡[ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴏɴᴇ ʟᴏᴠᴇꜱ ᴄʜᴜᴜʏᴀ]彡★

He's Just No Good For You, Reprise

Guns and various other weapons remained locked on their target, but not a soul dared to move.

As for Dazai, he was sure his brain had short-circuited. Because for a brief second, his mind completely emptied of all rational thought, replaced with a single, breathy:

Oh.

He lifted a finger to his lips, to the memory of his partner's own -- floating on some strange, fluffy sensation. Dazai had bamboozled a good number of people over his lifetime, but he himself was rarely on the receiving end. 

Needless to say, it took quite awhile before his common sense finally returned.

Oh. Oh.

Chuuya had employed a slightly unconventional tactic just now -- to convince his associates to reconsider their unsavory opinions on his suicidal partner. Not that Dazai was complaining or anything. A plethora of new ways to tease the chibi had opened up to him all at once.

Except...he couldn't really focus on any of them, brain still a hazy mess of surprisingly rough lips and eyes the color of a tidal wave. Of a vicious, self assured smirk and merciless tongue. Of an entire storm bottled up in the adorably small vessel that was his Chuuya Nakahara.

Wait. 

No. 

This was not how the story was supposed to go.

He put an end to the silly, fleeting dream with a flash. 

Despite knowing full well that he was in a far more dire situation, Dazai found himself preoccupied with fighting the sudden yearning for something he simply wasn't allowed to have. Something he was not allowed to even want, not in that way.

Distantly, he heard Fitzgerald's voice in his head:

What is it that you're so afraid of?

Dazai shook himself, suddenly feeling bitter as a sardonic smile twitched at the side of his mouth. 

It really wasn't something to dwell upon now.  Especially when he could already tell that Chuuya's little trick hadn't worked.

Right on cue, Kajii broke the silence with an appalled gasp.

"I don't believe it!" he cried, "Dazai seduced Chuuya!"

The accusation was accompanied by a chorus of angry shouts.

Dazai lifted his hands up in surrender, letting out a long, long sigh.

"Yep, that's right!" he said brightly, voice soaked with sarcasm, "I, Osamu Dazai, have seduced your Boss. No one is immune to my wiles. Cause' I am the seduciest seducer that has ever seduced-"

BANG

Dazai hopped to the side just in time to avoid a bullet that pinged off the concrete next to him. 

"Goodness, Higuchi," he said, arching an eyebrow, "I'd think your aim is better than that."

The blonde mafioso growled at the taunt, whipping out another gun and firing them both a once.

Dazai ducked behind a crate, lowering his head to shield himself from the rapid tatatatatatat of assault rifles as a good number of other equally furious mafiosos joined in the attack.

This was probably a situation that Kunikida would give him an earful about for recklessly provoking people while already standing between a rock and a hard place. But Kunikida was both not here right now and simply not able to fathom how Dazai felt.