It was terribly late when you came home from a an exhausting day at work. And after avoiding Perrie for the majority of the week, you knew that you were going to be in for it upon your arrival. To bad you were to exhausted to properly care.
That was until you walked into the kitchen to find Perrie cleaning. Mindlessly scrubbing at all the pots and pans that you owned. Steam from the burning water fogging up the window before her.
Even from the kitchen doorway you could see how red her hands were. No doubt from hours of manic cleaning. You sighed and leaned against the door frame lazily before finally alerting Perrie to your presence.
"Perrie," You started. "What are you doing?"
She scoffed, not even chancing a glance over her shoulder to look at you. You didn't blame her though, not after what you did. The tension between the two of you had been running high. You barely even said three words to her over the course of the week.
"I'm cleanin'." She practically spat. Her once adorable Geordie accent growing thicker and nearly unintelligible in her growing anger.
You sighed. You were tired of fighting with Perrie, but you didn't know how make it better. To make everything go away, like you wanted it to. You didn't know how to fix what you had broken.
"Perrie-"
She whipped around to face you, spinning quickly on her heel. Her once bright blue eyes now watering in anger; and she pointed her finger at you. "No, ya don't get to do that! Ya don't get to just say my name an' just expect everythin' to be okay! I told you that I loved ya! I told ya that I loved ya and you just bloody-well walked away!"
"God!" She shouted, tears now steaming down her face. Though, you weren't sure if they were from anger or pain. You placed your bet on both. "I didn't honestly expect ya to say it back! An' now ya're ignorin' me and I just don't get it! I don't get it okay?! I can't figure out what I did wron'!"
She was practically in shaking when she finished. Fists clenched in rage and pain. Sobs racking her entire body. And all you could manage was a a barely noticeable sigh. No longer able to ignore the pang of guilt that shot through your heart.
You loved Perrie, more than anything in the world. You had for the longest time. You were just afraid.
You were always afraid.
"Perr-" You tried, slowly making your way over to her. But Perrie didn't seem to want you near. With every step you took she took another step back, until her back was pressed back against the kitchen counter. Closer than the two of you had been in days. Yet miles away.
God, had you fucked up.
"I'll leave if that's what ya want." Perrie breathed out in an almost whisper. "I will leave okay? I will leave."
You shook your head. Tears finally pricking from your own eyes. "I don't want you to leave Per, okay? I don't want you to leave."
"Then what the bloody hell is goin' on with ya? Why won't ya talk to me?" She asked quietly.
You laughed, deep and hollow, leaning up against the counter opposite of Perrie. Your fingers ripping through your knotted hair. Then, with all the courage you could muster; you looked her in the eye and said. "Because love scares me, Perrie." You knew it was an awful excuse. "My entire life, I have been surrounded by people who claim to love me, only to push me around and tell that I'm worthless. That I'm impossible to love. So, when you told me that you loved me, I freaked out. I couldn't have you turn out to be like them. Like my family. And I know that it's stupid, because you're you. You'll couldn't be like them, because you're good and kind and you love me more than anyone in my life ever has.
"So, I ran. I didn't want you to leave me like they did. I didn't want you to turn out to be just like them. I was scared, Perrie." You allowed yourself to step forward. Just far into Perrie's space to be nonthreatening. To allow her space to flee. "But I'm not scared anymore, Pez. I love you. Please don't leave."
Perrie was in your arms within seconds. Her arms wound tightly around your waist. Face nuzzled into the crook of you neck whilst her fingers rubbed your back in a soothing manner.
It was a few moments before she spoke, her voice muffled by the fabric of your t-shirt and slightly hoarse from the crying and screaming she had just done. Still soft, nonetheless.
"Why didn't ya talk to me?" She asked. "I would've understood. I've met ya'r family Y/N and they weren't exactly the most lovely people I've ever met. Why not just tell me?"
You sighed into her hair, pulling her impossibly closer to your body. "Because I was scared. I run when I get scared Per, I can't help it. That's just who I am."
You felt Perrie nod against your chest. "And I love that 'bout ya, really I do. But, we're a team Y/N. We can work this out together okay? Don't run."
"I won't," You whispered back. "Not anymore."
And for what felt like eternity, the two of you stayed there wrapped tightly in each other's embrace. Neither of you wanting to let go of the love and warmth that radiated between you. It was so unlike anything you had ever felt before and before you knew it you found yourself whispering back the words that Perrie had let slip earlier that week.
"I love you."
