You hated being touched. Wether it came to you in the form of a hug or a gentle squeeze of the shoulders, you found yourself unable to bare it. Physical contact was only something you allowed for those closest to you, and even then, it was only ever okay when it was you who initiated contact.
But with Perrie, it was different.
You welcomed her touch with open arms. The feeling of her skin on your own, the gentle press of her lips to the side of your head, the comforting squeeze of a hand when you were anxious. You welcomed it all.
Because Perrie was different.
Because Perrie would never hurt you.
Her touch brought love and compassion and understanding. And it was so unlike anything you had ever known. It was caring and protection. But most of all, it was home.
But Perrie's touch was far and in between. And with touring and studio time with the girls, you weren't always able to spend a lot of time with your girlfriend.
It had been hard at first, and just trying to schedule a date night in between Perrie's ever changing schedule sometimes proved to me nearly impossible, but the two of you made it work.
You would do anything for love.
Tours were the worst. With Perrie gone and on the road for several months out of the year, you would find yourself alone in an empty house. Nights got lonely and when it felt like you were missing Perrie the most, you could hear her laughter echoing through the halls.
You found yourself missing her smile or the way she threw her head back into fits laughter when you would recount the stupid joke your best friend told you that morning. You missed her sound of her voice, the her annoyingly sunny disposition that could turn any bad day around with just one smile, the smell of her perfume.
You found yourself missing the way Perrie would nuzzle her nose into your chest as you slept and the gentle kisses she placed on your forehead every chance she got. Hell, you even missed the feel of her skin on yours and the way it felt to hold her body in your arms.
But really you just missed Perrie.
And of course you had Travis, and the blue eyed puppy never failed to get himself into some kind of trouble that had you running to Perrie for help. And as much as you loved the adorable new addition to your tiny family, Travis could never fill the void left by Perrie when she was gone.
Your girlfriend made it a point to call or FaceTime you with every chance that she got. And even though those would lighten your spirits, going to sleep without her always proved to be a challenge.
As much as you hated being touched, you were starting to find it impossible to fall asleep without Perrie by your side. Without her arms wrapped tightly around your waist, her legs intertwined with yours as her nose tickled the back of your neck. It all just seemed like a lifeline that you had no chance of getting back, even if Perrie was coming home once again.
xXx
"I miss you." You whispered into your phone one late night.
You could hear Perrie shuffling on the other end of the line before she sighed. "I miss ya too. Just one more week Lovely, then I'm all yers."
"One more week." You muttered under your breath.
You could do this.
"One more week." Perrie confirmed, then she paused as if she remembered something important. "Hey B?" She started. "Are ya sleepin' okay?"
You shook your head, even though you knew she couldn't see you, and rubbed at your eyes. "Depends on what you mean by okay." You tried to joke.
But Perrie was being serious. She was worried about you. "You know what I mean." She answered strictly.
You sighed. "No, I can't sleep without you."
The line was quiet for a moment before you heard Perrie whisper a "me too" into her phone.
The two of you talked into the early hours of the morning about everything and nothing at all, just relishing in the sounds of each other's presence. It didn't matter that Perrie wasn't right there next to you, because at least she was still there.
xXx
That final week of touring felt like it lasted a million lifetimes. But you took the time that you had to straighten everything up before Perrie got home.
By the end of that week, the house was practically spotless. That is except for the trail of dirt that little Travis tracked into the house after coming inside from playing in the mud. But you weren't complaining. At least it gave you something to do.
You were so caught up in cleaning that you didn't even hear you girlfriend make her way through the front door. Nor did you hear her calling out your name for the billionth time before she found you in the kitchen with your headphones on, scrubbing at the floor.
You nearly jumped out of your skin when you felt a hand come to rest upon your shoulder, when that familiar sense of warmth flushed through your body, you nearly stopped breathing.
Within seconds, you were up off the floor and in your girlfriend's arms, your arms wrapped tightly around her waist as you cried into her shoulder.
The two of you stood like that for what felt like forever, with Perrie rubbing a comforting hand up and down your back as she sobbed into your chest.
You were, finally, both home.
After what felt like an entirety, Perrie pulled back. You moved her hands up to the sides of your face, gently brushing away the loose strands of hairs and tucking them behind your ears as she stared lovingly into your eyes.
Oh, how you missed those beautiful baby blues.
Then, in a soft whispered tone, Perrie released a watery smile and said those three little words that you have been dying to hear ever since she left.
"I love you."
you practically beamed at her before pulling her in for a long and sweet kiss. And when you pulled away, the smile still etched upon your face, you whispered it back. "I love you too." And before you knew it, you were in Perrie's arms again and wrapped tightly in the arms of the woman that you loved.
And there was no place you would rather be.
You hated being touched, but with Perrie, it felt like home.
