LITTLE HUMMINGBIRD ━━ ( GILBERT BLYTHE )

EIGHT ; loose ends

And once again, the trio was back on the S.S. Primrose. Sydney missed the warm breeze of Trinidad from the moment she stepped foot back on the steamer.

It had been over seven months since Syd started working on the ship. And as much as she hated to admit it, she was ready.

Ready to go back to her normal life.

Having the privilege of a man, working hard, and meeting two amazing people that she will forever adore, it was exactly what she needed to heal and feel like herself again. But now it felt like all the loose ends of her old life were finally tying up. There was no longer any uncomfortable, lingering feeling of wrong in her life.

The only problem was: Gilbert. And Bash of course.

Syd couldn't imagine forgiving someone who lied to her for so long, especially about something as 'important' as their real sex. Gilbert was one of the most kind, forgiving souls Sydney had ever known, but she couldn't imagine any scenarios where Gilbert or Bash would forgive her.

Maybe they would. But they would never forget. It would never be the same.

So she had to leave them. She had to walk away and never look back. And that would be the hardest thing she would ever have to do.

That might be a bit of an exaggeration but Sydney knew it would shatter her heart and it would never stop hurting.

The tears in her eyes blurred her vision and Syd held her hand up to cover her mouth as to not allow any sobs or whimpers to escape her lips. When it got a bit too hard to hold everything in, she buried her head in the scratchy pillow, if you can even call it a pillow.

Once the crying had died down, as had her spirit, Syd lifted her mellow head. Her short blonde hair was dirty with soot so it stood up in every different direction. Her face was flushed and her doe eyes were wide and bloodshot while pitiful sniffles left her in the distressed state.

Unable to watch Gilbert and Bash sleep any longer if she wished for her heart to stay intact, Sydney fell back on the uncomfortable 'bed', letting out a small puff of air once her back hit the surface.

Suddenly the soft sound of the waves weren't calming anymore. They were almost unbearably annoying and distracting. The stars didn't shine quite as bright as they had the previous nights on the S.S. Primrose.

The salty air turned sour as a final tear rolled down Syd's face. Her eyelids felt heavy and her body was numb. Sydney drifted off into sleep with her mind full of dreadful thoughts of the dull future Syd saw for herself.

___

The foggy, slick air suffocated Sydney's lungs as she 'fed the lady'. Syd remembered the first day she worked on the steamer. More like she remembered the day after.

Her hands were covered in ash and blisters spotted her palms and burned whenever she moved her hands even a centimeter. Any movement killed Syd's back, the cracking and popping of her bones were something she still was not used to. The cots the workers slept in weren't exactly comfortable either, feeling more like sleeping on a boulder with a blanket of itchy hay.

Over the seven months, Sydney had been on the ship, it had gotten easier. Her body and muscles had adapted to the brutal working of the steamship and the stiff bed felt like a fluffy cloud in comparison to the work she and the other workers did during the day.

She also remembered the first time her eyes met Gilbert's.

"Whoa! Come on, change, boys. Let's change. Switch it up!" The tiredness in Syd seemingly vanished, the loud voice of one of the workers waking her right up.