Sister (slow updates)

Chapter One

I stared out at the garden, where James and Sirius were laughing about something. I sighed. James was always the popular one. The social butterfly. The prankster. James Potter. Sirius was his best friend since first year. Going into fifth year, Sirius had been spending more and more time at our house. I knew it was about his home life, but Sirius didn't like to talk about it. Not that he would say anything to me anyway. We weren't friends. He was James' best friend. I was just James' sister. I'd never be anything more to James' friends.

I turned away from the window. We would be leaving for Hogwarts in a few days. James and Sirius were excited. Hogwarts was their home away from home. I, however, was not so excited to return. I didn't share the same grand experiences at the school that James and his friends did. Things were different for me. But James would never see that. He wouldn't want to see that part of Hogwarts. The part that wasn't so grand and spectacular.

I got my trunk out from under my bed and opened it, setting in all of my school supplies and robes and uniforms. Gryffindor red, just like James and his friends. Just like Mum and Dad. I closed the trunk and slid it onto the floor next to my door. Three more years. That's all. Three more years.

"Jo?" The knock pulled me from my thoughts. I looked up. James.

"Hm?" I asked, watching him.

"Mum made cakes and tea. Do you want some?"

"Oh no, I'm alright. You and Sirius go ahead." He frowned and took a step into my room, crossing the threshold.

"What's gotten into you lately?" he asked gently. "You always jumped at the chance to eat Mum's cakes with me."

"It's nothing," I said quickly. "Just not hungry is all."

"Jo." His tone changed. He was worried. "Is it Sirius? You know what he's like. He's not like his family-"

"It's not that, okay? Just drop it. Please."

"Not until you tell me what's wrong." He plopped in the chair at my desk, watching me carefully. "We used to tell each other everything. Now you barely talk to me. I want to know why, Jocelyn."

I turned away, messing with the books on my shelf. "I'm fine, James. There's nothing wrong. Please just go back to hanging out with Sirius. He's probably wondering what's taking you so long."

"Let him wonder. You're my sister, Jo. I know when there's something wrong."

"Oh, do you now?" I shot back, spinning to face him. "You know when there's something wrong with me? Now? Where was the feeling before, James? Why are you just now seeing me for me?" I paused and looked away. "I'm sorry. I- I didn't mean it like that."

"Jo, tell me what's going on. I want to help."

"There's nothing to help, James. Just go back to your friends like you always do. I'm fine. Just like I always am."

James sighed and stood up, making his way to my door. I could hear Sirius starting to walk up the stairs, calling for James. He looked back at me. "I just want to help, Jo. I'm your brother. I wish you would let me help." He stepped out, closing the door and calling back to Sirius.

Part of me knew James wasn't going to drop the subject that easily. As Hogwarts grew closer, James grew more suspicious. He tried to corner me any chance he got, asking to talk. I tried to avoid it. It was a lot easier with Sirius in the house, always distracting James and giving me a reason to leave the conversation before he can ask any questions. The night before we were to head to King's Cross Station, however, James came to "help" me pack my trunk. As soon as he was in the door, he closed it.

"Please just tell me the truth," he sighed. "I know something is wrong. I get the weird twin sense thing. I want to help, Jo. I love you."

"It's nothing," I said for what felt like the hundredth time that week. I knew he wouldn't believe me. He hadn't believed me before that.

"Jo-"

"James, can we please just drop it already?" I tried to hold them back as my eyes glazed over with tears. "Can't we just go back to how it used to be? You go have fun at Hogwarts with your friends, and I'll get one more year alone. Just like it's always been. Please, James. It's worked so far, why change it now?"

"Hey, hey, that's not... is that really how you feel? How you've felt this whole time?"

"It's no secret, James. You've always been the popular one. You've always had your friends and pining after Lily. And I've always just been Jocelyn, James' sister. Why do you suddenly want to know what's going on in my life?"

"Because I'm worried about my sister. Because my sister has been quiet all summer, when she's usually laughing and reading in the garden and baking with Mum. Because my sister hasn't been eating. I know, Jocelyn. I've been watching you all summer. I've noticed, and it worries me. Am I not allowed to worry about you now?"

"I-"

"Jocelyn, please just tell me what's wrong. I know something's different. I know something's been bothering you. Please just tell me what it is. I want to fix it. I want my sister back."

"This is me, James!" I yelled, tears spilling down my cheeks. "I'm not the carefree little kid you still think of me as! We're fifteen! So what if I want to eat less? So what if I want to be skinny and pretty, like all the other girls? Why can't you just accept that I've changed, James? I'm still your sister, for Merlin's sake!"

"I-" He leaned back against the door, where there was now light knocking and Sirius asking if everything was okay. James ignored him. "Why didn't you tell me you were being bullied?"

"Because why would you care, James? You're popular. You have friends. You have Lily. You have good grades. You have everything you could ever want. Why would you care what happened to me?"

"You're my sister. Of course I would care, Jo."

We stood silently for a few moments, just staring at each other. There was another knock, slightly louder this time. Sirius still asking if everything was alright, trying to open the door that James still stood against.

"I think Sirius is waiting for you," I whispered finally, turning away and looking out the window.

"Screw Sirius. I'm right where I need to be right now."

"James-"

"No. Jocelyn, you are wonderful. Anyone who says differently isn't worth it. I want you to be able to come to me with these things. I want to help. But I can't do that if you don't talk to me. Bottling it all up isn't going to do you any good, Jo."

"I don't want you to give up all you have just because some kids pick on me, James. You have friends. I don't. That's just how things are, okay?"

I looked back at him, still standing the door, a hurt look in his eyes. "I thought- I- what about Charlotte? Isn't she your friend?"

"Charlotte? She got a boyfriend and decided she was too good for me in second year, James." His expression dropped further, as if it were even possible at this point. He seemed more disappointed in himself than anything.

"I'm not leaving you, Jocelyn. I can't believe I didn't notice sooner. I- I can't believe I was such a... a horrible brother to not notice for so long. I don't care what you, or anyone else, thinks. I'm not leaving you alone this year. Not again. I promise you that."
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AHHHH NEW FIC?! I started writing this on a whim because my ADHD brain was going 100 mph with scenes and details and all kinds of things do I just started jotting things down and this was the product! It will be part of a series (not sure exactly how many books but currently I am at ideas for 4 separate books). I am still deciding on update schedule so it will probably be updated kind of slow and randomly until I find a good time.

I hope you like this story because I'm still writing it whether or not anyone reads it. Mostly for my friend Cheyenne, because she has a lot of faith in me with this one. Anyway I'll stop talking now. Hope you enjoyed this chapter!