Sister (slow updates)

Chapter Five

When we had finally decided to make our way up to the common room, I climbed through the portrait hole to find James pacing in front of the fireplace, the common room near empty, while Sirius and Remus attempted to calm him down.

"I can't calm down when I don't know my sister is!" he yelled, whipping around to look at the two. "Merlin, she could be anywhere! She could be hurt, and I wouldn't know it! All because of me!"

"Prongs, I'm sure that's not the case," Remus said slowly, grabbing his shoulder. James only tore away from him and went back to pacing.

"It is. It's all my fault. I've lost her! I've messed everything up! Merlin, I can't live without her."

I quickly crossed the common room. "Then you don't have to," I whispered as I enveloped him in a hug. He paused before his arms were wrapped around me in his signature hug. "I'm sorry I got so mad," I murmured into his chest. He rested his chin on the top of my head.

"I'm sorry I was such an arse," he murmured back. "I love you, Jo."

"I love you too, Jamie, even if sometimes it doesn't seem like it."

James and his friends were still in the common room when Lily and I wandered up to our dorm, ready for bed. I changed into my pajamas and yawned, crawling into my four-poster bed and drawing the curtains. I slid my wand under my pillow and wrapped myself tightly in the covers, exhausted. It wasn't long before I was washed over by sleep and slipped into the dream world.

I stood in the living room of a quaint house. An older-looking Sirius stood in front of the door, pulling on a leather jacket and grabbing a pair of keys off the table next to the door. I saw what seemed like an older version of myself walk into the room, towards Sirius.

"Sirius, I have something to te- where are you going? It's late," I heard myself saying.

"I'll be back before you know it. Just need to check up on the others. Make sure they're still safe."

"You'd best come back to me, Sirius Black."

"Of course I will, Joss. Don't worry. I'll be back before you know it. I promise."

The world spun around me, growing slightly darker, as if the sun had fully set and it was nighttime. There was a knock on the front door. I saw myself standing up from the couch and walking to the door, reaching out and opening it. Remus stood in front of the door, a pained look on his face and tears streaming from his eyes.

"I came as soon as I heard," he said shakily, stepping inside.

"Heard what?" I asked slowly.

"You don't know yet?"

"Know what, Remus? What's going on? Have you heard from Sirius?"

"Jocelyn, I- I'm so sorry. I can't believe no one's told you yet."

"Remus, what!"

"James and Lily, they... I'm sorry, Jocelyn. They're gone. He- he found them. Sirius was a spy. He- he told him where they were. And now Sirius has killed Peter. He's off to Azkaban as we speak."

"No! You're lying! It can't- no!" I watched myself collapse to the floor in tears, Remus crouching next to me and rubbing circles on my back. "He can't," I sobbed. "He can't be gone! And Sirius? No. No, I won't believe it!"

"I know," he whispered. "I couldn't believe it either, but Dumbledore said... he said there were witnesses, Jocelyn. They saw Sirius blow up the street, killing Peter and twelve other people. All- all they found of Peter was his finger."

"I can't- I can't do it alone, Remus."

"It'll be okay. We'll be okay. Voldemort is gone. The war is over."

"But at what cost? James and Lily, Peter, Sirius, Frank and Alice! And that's only the tip of the iceberg, Remus! I- I can't. I can't do this alone."

"You're not alone, Jocelyn. We still have each other."

I sat up, gasping for breath as if I, too, had really been sobbing like dream me. I wiped my face. Tears. What was that? A bad dream? I rubbed my eyes and slid between the curtains of my four-poster. I walked over to the window, where a jug of water and a few goblets sat on a table. I poured some water and took a drink, looking out the window. The moon was low in the sky, and the horizon was beginning to brighten. The stars still twinkled overhead, clinging to the last bit of darkness.

I stood there, watching the sunrise, mulling over my dream in my head. Something about it felt so real. It was impossible, though. Lily hated James. Sirius would never kill Peter. Or be a spy for anyone, for that matter. He'd never be the reason James was killed. It had to be fake. Just a stupid dream that didn't mean anything.
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I don't have much to say today, but I just wanted to say that I appreciate y'all who choose to read this :) I promise it gets better haha. Anyway that's really all I had. Let me know what you think about this chapter in the comments :) See y'all next week!