Chapter Eleven

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James sat in a stunned silence. He watched me closely, eyebrows furrowed and a thin frown set on his mouth. "Jocelyn," he whispered finally, after several moments of silence. "I don't even know what to say. I just... you shouldn't have to deal with that alone, Jo. You should have come to me."

"I was scared, Jamie," I whispered. "I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to worry you, because you were already so worried. I just wanted it to go away. I thought it would go away, but it didn't."

James didn't say a word more. He just pulled me in and held me close to his chest. I could hear his heart beating, and faintly smell the cologne I always complained about under the stench of his sweat. But I didn't complain about it in this moment. This one precious moment that we hadn't had in a long time. Just James and I, alone, taking in each other's comforting presence without a word.

A knock on the door a few moments later pulled us from that moment. "Are you guys almost done? Remus wants to go to bed," Sirius' voice said from the other side of the door. I could practically hear the glare he was no doubt giving Remus. James looked down at me with a worried expression. I nodded, giving him one last hug and standing up. James made to move too.

"You don't need to come with me, Jamie. Stay with your friends. I'm okay."

"No, I'm not tired anyway, and I'll just bother Remus while he's trying to sleep if I stay here. I'll come sit in the common room with you. I doubt Sirius wants to go to bed either." Knowing there was no stopping him once he'd made up his mind, I locked arms with him and we made our way across the room to the door. James opened it and we found Sirius, Remus, and Peter standing there. Remus began to say something before he caught notice.

"Are you okay?" he asked immediately, going straight into mom friend mode after taking one look at my face.

"I think I'm fine now," I shrugged, glancing at James. "Come on, Black, we're leaving." I grabbed Sirius' arm after giving Remus a small wave and dragged the duo down the stairs, back into the common room.

"What-" Sirius started as we entered the common room. I let go of their arms when we made it, going over to the table and situating myself with my Potions essay again.

"Jamie, what was it that Slughorn said about poisons again?" I asked, looking up from my quill.

"How would I know?" he shrugged. "Don't you always take notes in your classes?"

"Yes! That's right, I have notes." I began digging through my bag, trying to remember where I had left my notes from that lesson. "They're here somewhere," I muttered to myself.

"Joss." I glanced up. Sirius was holding my notes out to me, glancing over at James as I took them.

"Jocelyn," James said, sitting next to me and gently pulling my quill from my hand. "Are you sure you're okay? You're acting weird again."

"I am not," I stated, taking my quill back and reading through my notes. "I'm acting perfectly normal. I just need to finish this essay for Slughorn."

"Jocelyn, I know when you're not okay," he sighed. "I know when there's something going on in that head of yours, and I know when you're trying to avoid talking about it."

"I don't need to talk about it, James. I just need to finish my essay." I went back to scanning my notes. I knew he was right. He always knew when I wasn't telling him something. But this was something I couldn't tell James about. He couldn't know what was really on my mind in that moment, sitting across from Sirius Black while trying to focus on my Potions essay, but only being able to focus on the smell of his shampoo.

I know you may be thinking one of two things right now. One, just tell him and Sirius the truth. Or two, you can't fall for your brother's best friend. And honestly? Both are right. I should have told them the truth. I also shouldn't have fallen for Sirius in the first place. Possibly, it was just Lily and Marlene getting in my head. Or maybe I really was falling for Sirius Orion Black. Either way, I was majorly screwed. There was no good way to go about the situation I had suddenly been faced with.
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Hello hello! Another update here for y'all on this fine Friday. I don't really have anything to add today, but vote and comment if you want. Alright bye, have a good day/night.

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