Firm Tenacity (The Athletes #3) COMPLETED

Chapter 36

Chapter 36

Own

How can I make them believe I am not affected when deep inside me I am breaking into pieces?

Bawat sulyap nila sa isa't isa, bawat ngiti nila, bawat haplos, gusto kong sumigaw na ako dapat ang nariyan. Ako dapat...

I was playing with the pen in front of me while we were waiting for some important people that were part of the meeting. Si Senyor, hindi ko pa rin alam kung bakit nandito, at kung bakit pinayagan ng mga Montevinski na makapasok. Hindi naman magandang tanungin ko rito mismo.

Sumandal ako sa upuan ko. Hindi naman madalas ang tingin sa akin ni Senyor kaya hindi ako natutuliro. But my heart is still beating rapidly because of this unexpected event. Hindi ko alam kung inasahan ba 'to ng ibang tao rito.

"Are you alright?" si Engr. Clark.

Tumango ako. Sa totoo lang, nakakagaan sa pakiramdam na katabi ko siya ngayon. At least, it's less awkward. Dahil kung wala siya rito, grabeng hiya at kaba siguro ang nararamdaman ko.

"Are you shocked to see him?" he whispered, leaning on his chair, too.

Mahina lang ang boses niya, malapit din siya sa akin. Wala naman sigurong makakarinig sa usapan namin?

"Sino? Si Mooze... o si chairman Archibald?" I asked formally while trying to relax my body.

Hindi ako makatingin sa gawi nina Mooze dahil baka mapansin ako. I am really conscious right now. I feel like there are malicious eyes observing every move I do. Hindi ko rin kayang makita sila ni Thalia na sweet sa isa't isa.

"Your grandfather..." he said. "I heard he's not part of the project. Why is he here, then?" he asked curiously with a low chuckle. "Don't tell me he's doing this because of personal grudges? Seriously?"

Parang may alam siya tungkol sa amin. Maybe he knows the part of me being an illegitimate child. O siguro narinig niya sa ilang kakilala na malapit sa pamilya ko ang tungkol sa mga family problems namin. Kanino naman sana?

"What else could be his reasons, then? The partners for this project are already finalized, right? Hindi na pwedeng baguhin..."

He shrugged. "That's not the case all the time. Pwede pa rin mabago kung kailangan ang impluwensya ng isang tao sa proyekto..." seryoso niyang sabi sabay ngisi sa akin.

So, he can smirk, too? Akala ko ngiti lang ang kaya niyang gawin dahil sa malambot nitong hitsura. He's got a side of Mooze, too.

I looked around and everyone seemed so intense. Sir Gray Montevinski was calm when I looked at him. Wala naman sigurong masama na mangyayari, hindi ba? I can tell that it's safe here knowing this is the Montevinski's jungle. A lost wild animal could never win here....

Napatingin ako kay Senyor. I caught him looking at me coldly. His expression was straight so I couldn't tell what he was feeling towards me. I culdn't even see anger because of his coldness. Bumuntong hininga ako at nag-iwas na lang ng tingin.

It's been years since the last time we saw each other. At ngayon, may galit akong nararamdaman sa kan'ya. Ngayong alam kong isa siya sa mga dahilan kaya namatay ang Daddy ko, hindi ko alam kung mapapawi pa ba ang galit na kinikimkim ko.

Forgiveness is only for those who deserve it. No matter how we instill in our mind that we must forgive to heal if the situation is really hard to swallow, the process will definitely face difficulties. I know now that it's really hard to forgive when the scar is really deeply carved. Just like in wounds, either it disappears after a long moment, or it stays forever.