this is real life? >jg<

why

chapter 43:

being heartbroken is exactly how i felt at the moment, they way it was spelled and the definition

heart-bro-ken
/härt brōken/
adjective
suffering from overwhelming distress; very upset

i drove away back at the house and parked the car in the driveway of me and callies house and broke down

i may just get over this now, or i could just not find anyone ever and live until im 70 and die alone, which is my best option right now, because clearly the person who i thought had a lot of feeling towards me really had broken me.

//back//

i was excited to be going over sergios apartment i had finally brought courage to actually tell him that i have feelings for him, and him hopefully him having feelings towards me too.
i knew that if i did this now, i would never get the courage in the future.

but suddenly that courage had fated when i was about to drive in his driveway and see him with another girl, as i could say "making out." i really thought that we had something i mean all the little kisses here and there or even, just cuddling on the couch watching whatever movie was on.
but clearly i was just another girl on his list waiting for him to just use me.
i had failed myself for believing such a thing as i thought love but really love is just a bitch waiting to kick you right in the ass. so as of know i am no longer believing in word so called love and will never fall under its spell, cause it sure has kicked me way too many times and im done with it.

//present//

i wipe all the tears and gladly i hadnt worn any makeup today cause i would surely be looking like a clown. i step out and head towards my door and unlock it with the house key and enter inside, finding callie sitting in the couch watching a television show

just great

"hey liana, are you okay?" she asked looking worried

"yeah, i came back from watching a movie, really hit me in the death scene" i fake laugh

"oh okay, ill be making dinner later, im making pasta"

"sounds good, ill be in my room if you need anything." i say walking up the stairs to my room

i grab my laptop and open first thing i see is the video i had posted of me and sergio. i played the video, but i regretted it because after 10 seconds of the video tears were forming. all the great times we had each other but it was all a lie.

//

past few days i had stayed in my room and only really went downstairs for breakfast and dinner i didnt see any reason to go down for lunch, i would just eat a snack i had stored

i had gotten many text messages from sergio but i didnt respond not once.
i had gotten some from joey, i would respond once in awhile but i would just ignore them. i didnt want to leave or talk to anyone outside of the house. i had no problem with callie, cause she was always out and about with her friends.

i heard my phone ringing and it was sergio, part of me wanted to answer but the other part wanted to just ignore it. i answered

"liana finally, i got a hold of you. so hows it going?"

"....ok.." i said simple i didnt want to talk much

"great, so i was wondering want to hang out today i missed you"

i had thought about it, i was afraid as if i would see him i would break down and just cry or i would break all his bones so he wasnt able to move for the rest of his life both didnt sound really appealing so i replied with no

"well too bad liana, youre going
to have to anyway cause im at your house"

i look out the window to see him standing by the doorway with his phone by his ear

"im not home" i say quickly

"yes you are i see you"

i look out one more time but i really shouldnt have cause he
looked straight at me with a big smile and waved

well im fucked.

i hang up and head downstairs and open the door, he comes straight in and sits on the couch. i follow behind and sit rarely far from him.

it was silent until it was broken by sergio

"okay liana whats going on, youve been ignoring my texts, you havent came over and your not even talking to me"

i look at him

liana dont cry. dont cry. stop dont.

to late tears were forming, i look back down as the tears were flowing down my face

he scoots next to me and tilts my chin up with his index and middle fingers

"talk to me liana"

i stay quiet until i clear my throat and look him in the eye

"am i really just another girl to you?"

he becomes shocked as to what i say but he doesnt say anything "i knew it" i muttered

"i dont know what to say liana"

"you dont have to say anything to me, but all i want to know is why"

"why you used me when i thought i had actual fucking feeling towards you" i said pointing at him with my index finger

"do you really want to know?"

i dont say anything

"i really did have feelings for you liana, you may just be another girl but i will admit that i had feelings for you, but they quickly faded because i see you as a friend and only a friend. sure i gave you kisses but i really wanted you to like me like i liked you, but after i didnt like you like that i fell for someone else and it was a mistake and im sorry" he got up and left

i curled my knees up to my chest as i heard the door close

the door opened up again but i didnt care who was there

"liana what happened?"

"a movie.."

"no it wasnt just a movie, what happened"

"im heartbroken"