Erwin
Erwin's remaining arm hung shackled to the rail above where he slumped on the cold, stone floor of his prison cell. Dried blood caked his face and his throat was raw from yelling. He'd been interrogated for much of the day, but he'd refused to reveal any information whatsoever. One of his eyes was swollen shut, and he closed the other so as to try and imagine himself somewhere better, though he was still processing the news that Nile had brought. He'd told him that he was to see the King tomorrow, where the official disbandment of the Scouts would be declared, and his final sentence would be decided. He was going to be hung. Made an example of. He had the rest of the night to think of a way to escape his fate and enact his plan, but his mind kept straying to Anastasya. He wished he could see her again, just one more time, and tell her that he was sorry for failing her. He decided to seek solace in his memories. The plan could wait, just for a little while.
***
"Erwin!"
Anastasya ran towards him, her beautiful eyes sparkling with joy. She jumped into his arms and he held her close, breathing in the scent of her perfumed hair. She lingered against him before taking an elegant step back. It'd been eight months since they'd last seen one another, and he couldn't believe how she'd changed. She was no longer a girl but rather a young woman. Her dark, silky hair now tumbled down to her waist, and her figure had become fuller. Alluring, even. He swallowed. When they'd been children, an innocent sort of love had blossomed between them and his father had said that he could see them marrying one day. He'd laughed at the idea, but he now realised that what they'd nurtured for so many years had indeed matured and grown deeper. He saw that Anastasya was realising it, too. Her expression softened, and she looped her arm through his.
"Tell me how it's going in the Scouts," she said, as they walked through the dusky city.
He'd joined the Cadet Corps as soon as his aunt had allowed it, and he'd then graduated and opted to be in the Scout Regiment, much to Anastasya's fascination.
"It's tough," he admitted. "But I still feel like I'm in the right place, doing the right thing."
"Good," she said. "But... I can't help worrying about you. Each time you go beyond the walls, I... I wonder if you'll ever come back again."
He hadn't expected her to say something like that. Something about it troubled him, but he pushed it to the back of his mind. He was noticing more about her as they progressed through the city, and he brushed a scrape on her knuckle.
"What's that from?"
"Oh... Nothing," she said.
"Anastasya."
He stopped and turned to look at her. She had a few more cuts along her arms, and although she'd tried to cover it with cosmetics, he spotted an angry, violet bruise when she tucked her hair behind her ear.
"Who did this to you?" he asked, lightly touching it.
She looked away, the first signs of irritation - no, of frustration and shame - beginning to show.
"It's not important, Erwin."
He took hold of her upper arms and truly studied her, reading her like his favourite book, understanding every word of every line of every page.
"You're back in the Underground, aren't you?"
When Anastasya had fled to the Underground after murdering her stepfather, Erwin had been in the Cadet Corps and had been unable to help and for a while, completely oblivious as to what had happened to her. Anastasya had done her best to make a living as a child, just like the other orphans down in the dank city, and had been drawn into all sorts of fights and dangerous situations. She'd survived by stealing but as soon as Erwin had passed out into the Scouts, he'd been paying for her board at an inn in Wall Rose. He'd do anything to keep her safe and out of that dreadful place.
"So what if I am?" she asked quietly.
"Anastasya, I don't care about the money; you know that. You know that if you'd just accept, I'd give you everything I have, but if I'm still paying for your room then-"
"I still live at the inn. Mostly."
"Mostly?"
"Yes... I stay in the Underground the rest of the time."
"Why?! It's dangerous, Anastasya. You're meant to be attending school!" She looked away, refusing to meet his eyes, and he tilted her chin so that she looked at him. "Tell me why."
"To uphold our promise!" she said, her eyes brimming with tears.
"What?" he asked, letting his hand fall back to his side.
She glanced around and then led him to one of the public parks. They sat down on a bench just as the lanterns were lit, and she twisted to look at him, determination expressed in every elegant feature.
"We both promised that we'd find out the truth. That we'd make our fathers proud. You are working towards that. You are helping people every time you go beyond the walls by gathering information and killing Titans. But me? What am I doing to uphold that vow?"
"Anastasya...we made that promise when we were child-"
"Don't," she interrupted. "Don't pretend like you're not still keeping to it. You were the best in your class, you could have joined the MP and lived safely in the capital but instead you chose the most dangerous option. I know you, Erwin Smith, and I know there's no chance in hell you'll ever let it go, even if it kills you."
Her words struck him hard, and he furrowed his brow.
"You're right," he admitted after a long moment. "But how does disappearing into the Underground and skipping school help?"
"I'm growing my network."
"I don't follow."
"I spy on people and then sell the information," she said, lowering her voice. "Knowledge is power, Erwin, and having the skill to wield it is invaluable."
He felt his eyes widen as he struggled to find the words.
"Anastasya, you can't do that! If you get caught...! Is that why you're bruised?"
She shook her head.
"No. That's from a fight."
"What?!"
He was barely able to stop himself from shouting and was grateful that there was no-one in the park to overhear them.
"I'm getting better at fighting."
"Why?!"
"So that I become stronger and I'm never defenceless again. So that, if someone tries to hurt you, I can be there to protect you, like you always protect me."
"Anastasya..." He shook his head. "You're wrong. I'm not always there to protect you. That's why you shouldn't continue what you're doing. It's too risky."
"What else can I do? Finish school... and then what?"
"Find a job and live your life," he said.
"You want me to waste my life, accepting everything as it is, working in some tavern or store, growing old trapped behind these walls? Is that what you want?"
She was twisting his words, and he balled his fists.
"Of course not, but nor do I want you getting hurt or worse!"
"I won't; I'm careful."
"This begs to differ," he said, cupping the side of her face and moving his thumb over her bruise again. This time, though, he didn't let his hand fall. Her eyes seemed to shimmer with her passion for the cause, her desire, her unquenchable need to change their world just as strong as his own. How could he deny her that when everything else had been taken from her? How could he stop her from pursuing the truth when it was exactly what he had dedicated his life to doing?
"I can't abandon the promise," he said quietly. "I know that you can't either and it wouldn't be fair to ask you to. I understand that. But I'm afraid for you, Anastasya. You're the only one I have left. You're quite literally the most important, precious person in my life. I don't want to lose you."
"You're all I have left, too," she said, her voice barely more than a whisper. "I told you; I get so scared when the Scouts return because I always wonder if I'm going to see you alive and in one piece, or whether you'll be in one of the corpse wagons or worse, you'll just be gone, devoured by a Titan, nothing left of you... I..."
She was becoming emotional, no doubt imagining a world in which she was completely alone and in that precise moment, he realised that he needed her even more than he needed the truth. He leant forward while she was still talking and gently pressed his lips against hers. She froze, pressing her lips tightly together. He was about to move away, thinking he'd made a terrible mistake, when her lips softened, and she took his free hand in hers. Eventually, he moved back, one hand still cupping her cheek.
"I love you," he said quietly, whilst his heart thundered in his chest. "That's a truth I've never had to search for."
Anastasya smiled, and it was like the sun emerging from the clouds.
"I love you, too, Erwin Smith."
***
Back in his cell, Erwin's lips quirked up at the memory, and for the thousandth time, he wondered what his life would've been like had he married her as his father had predicted. However, he would not allow himself to dwell on it. Not now. He had to find a way to survive. For Anastasya and the others to survive, and for the truth to rise to the surface.
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