The Path Back to You | Levi x OC

Chapter 60 - The Death of a Dream

Levi

"Shit! You guys, watch out!"
Levi's warning to the remaining Scout soldiers was lost amongst the chaos, swallowed by their screams as they scattered like mice. He raced towards them, only pausing once to avoid another onslaught. Fortunately most had had the sense to take cover and were cowering with the horses behind whatever buildings they could find that were still intact, clueless as to what was happening.
"The Beast Titan's throwing boulders!" he yelled. "All of you! Retreat to the wall with the horses!"
"Roger!" shouted Marlo, just as more rocks were hurled.
"Hurry! Stay out of the line of fire!"
As one, they began to run. However a young, red-haired recruit formerly of the Garrison regiment fell to his knees, clutching his head in terror. Levi grabbed him by the cloak and hauled him to his feet.
"Hey! Stand up! You wanna die?!"
He let go of the trembling soldier just as Anya and Erwin arrived. To anyone else Anya looked calm and composed, her expression one of ice and steel. To those who knew her, though, knew how to read the depths of her eyes and the angle of her mouth, it was clear that she was terrified.
"How's it looking?" he asked, walking over.
"Terrible," said Erwin. "His throws have destroyed the front line of houses. If he keeps on throwing, everything will get levelled. We won't have anywhere left to hide."
Levi brushed Anya's cheek with his knuckles in an attempt to comfort her. She managed a small smile in response, and despite her fear he saw the courage burning within.
"We can't retreat to the other side of the wall?" he asked.
"No," she replied, keeping her voice low. "The Colossal Titan is already heading this way, spreading fire throughout the town."
"Supposing we scale the wall to evade the stones, we'd have to leave the horses," added Erwin. "If we retreat here, there's no hope for victory."
"What happened to Hange's group? Is Eren all right?" he asked.
"We don't know. But the majority of them were caught in that explosion. We've been dealt a serious blow."
"The Beast Titan directed the smaller Titans to move first so that our soldiers would all group up in one place," said Anya.
"As a result, while engaging in combat with the smaller Titans, Dirk Squad, Marlene Squad, and Klaus Squad were all wiped out by the bombardment," Erwin stated, addressing the soldiers as well. "In other words, our remaining forces this side of the gate consist of you new recruits, Captain Levi, Captain Anastasya, and...me."
Another load of boulder fragments smashed into the wall behind them. The recruits cried out, their fear growing with each volley. They'd be of no use to anyone if something wasn't done soon.
"We're doomed!" one exclaimed.
Levi was beginning to realise what he assumed Anya already had. They were screwed.
"Erwin... Do you have any sort of plan?" he asked quietly.
Before Erwin could respond Eren's Titan crashed onto the top of the wall, sprawled out and unmoving. It looked like things were getting worse on all fronts. Timed perfectly to add to their misery, the bastard Beast Titan attacked again. The deadly shards of rock narrowly missed them all and went on to obliterate yet more of the dwindling places to take cover. Levi scowled.
"The Beast Titan has a good guess as to where we're at. This place will look like a honeycomb soon. Erwin, if you're saying we've got no chance to counterattack, let's get ready to flee. Wake Eren from his damn nap up there. Ride him and flee with as many people as possible. At least we'll have some survivors."
"Hey, the horse got away! That was your job!"
He, Anya and Erwin turned to watch Marlo apprehending the red-headed Garrison recruit that Levi had grabbed before.
"Shut up! Like it matters!" the recruit yelled back.
"Excuse me?!"
"Those Scouts were insanely strong, and they died in an instant! You know as well as I do... What good is protecting horses when there's nobody left to ride them home?!" He clutched his head again, his wide eyes brimming with tears. "It all made sense at one point. If humanity just hid behind the walls, we'd someday get slaughtered by Titans out of nowhere. Somebody has to bite the bullet and risk taking action. In order for others to not become victims, we needed people to become the victims themselves. 'Who will be that brave soldier?' When we were asked that, I actually believed I could be that someone! But I never thought...that being sent to my death...would turn out to be so utterly meaningless in the end! Now that I think about it, I bet almost everyone ends up saying the same thing as me! Why did I ever think that I'd...somehow be different?!"
The recruits stared, letting his words devour their remaining courage. Levi glanced at Anya and saw the sorrow in her eyes, but there was nothing they could do. The brat was right. He was about to die. Hell, they probably all were. Levi grit his teeth. No... Surely it couldn't end in such a pathetic way?
"What if whoever's left of the recruits and Hange's group scatter on horses?" he asked Erwin. "And try to make it home? By using them as a decoy, you guys could escape on Eren."
"Not without you," said Anya, her voice as fierce as her expression.
"Levi, what would you do?" Erwin asked, his response considerably more level than Anya's.
"I'm facing the Beast Titan. I'll draw him away-"
Erwin interrupted him even before Anya could.
"Impossible. You won't even get close."
"Probably not," he agreed. "But if you two and Eren return home alive, there's still hope. Isn't that the best we can ask for at this point? What a huge defeat. To be perfectly honest, I doubt a single one of us is making it back alive."
He turned away, unable to meet Anya's gaze.
"That's not going to happen," she snapped.
"It might, assuming we had no way to counterattack," said Erwin.
Levi froze, slowly looking back at his friend.
"Is there a way?"
"Yes," Erwin said, as though it were obvious.
He rounded on him.
"Why didn't you say that sooner? Why'd you keep your shitty mouth shut?!"
"Erwin..."
Levi stopped short upon hearing the sheer amount of despair in Anya's voice. Surely if there was a way they could counterattack... Why did she sound so upset?
"If the plan goes well, you may be able to take down the Beast Titan," Erwin told them both.
"Erwin... Please, no..."
Erwin carried on as though deaf to Anya's pleas.
"It will take the recruits...and myself...to give our lives."
Anya turned away, placing her hands atop her head.
"It's like you said. Either way, most of us will die. No, it's almost guaranteed we'll all be wiped out," said Erwin, walking forward so as to be out of earshot of the soldiers. "In which case, we can stake our heroic deaths on a slim chance of victory."
Levi followed after him, gesturing to Anya to do the same.
"For this to work, to ask these young ones to die, it would take an expert con man and a whole slew of lies. If I do not lead the vanguard none of them will follow. I will die before anyone else. Without ever learning what's in the basement..."
He stopped and stared at the floor, eyes wide and anguished. Levi frowned.
"Huh?"
Erwin sighed and sat down heavily upon an old crate. Levi wasn't sure he'd ever seen him look so defeated and...disappointed before and it disconcerted him. He stood in front of his best friend, lips parted as he tried to understand. Beside him, Anya was doing her best not to cry.
"I... I want to go to the basement," said Erwin. He rested his remaining elbow on his thigh and studied his hand. "Everything I'd done 'til now...was because I thought this day would come. That someday, we could check if we were right."
He finally had the balls to look at Anya, and she sank to the ground by his feet, seemingly incapable of speech. He directed his gaze to his hand again, raising it to be level with his face.
"So many times... I thought death would be so much easier. But always, the dream I shared with my father and then with you, Anastasya, flashed through my mind. And now, we're close enough to the answers to reach out and grab them."
He buried his face against his arm, squeezing his eyes shut.
"They're right there," he whispered.
He opened his eyes again and bowed his head. However, the haunted look upon his drawn face made it seem as though he could see a lot more than just the churned earth beneath their feet.
"But Levi... Anastasya... Can you see them? Our comrades? Our comrades are looking at us. They want to know what became of the hearts they gave. Because the fighting isn't over yet."
More stones than before smashed into the walls and buildings around them. Levi felt as though he couldn't move. He was helpless, paralysed as he desperately searched for the right words
"Is it all just inside my head?" Erwin asked sullenly. "Nothing more than a childish delusion?"
Levi narrowed his eyes and knelt next to Anya.
"You've fought well," he said. "It's all thanks to you that we've come this far."
He braced himself for what he had to say next. It was going to cause an almost unbearable amount of agony for all three of them and he was going to carry the guilt of it for the rest of his pitiful life, however short it turned out to be. He was certain, though, that it was what was needed. He didn't care if Anya hated him for it; not if it gave her a chance of survival. He'd hate himself more than she ever could, anyway. He made himself look up at the best Commander the Scouts had ever had. At the best friend he'd ever had, and the man who'd saved and changed his life in unthinkable ways.
"I'm making the choice," he forced himself to say. "Give up on your dream and die. Lead the recruits straight into hell. I will take down the Beast Titan."
Erwin sat up straight, his eyes widening. Anya gasped out a sob but an eerie expression of peace seemed to settle over Erwin's face and his lips twisted into the smallest of smiles, as though freedom was finally in sight.
"And me?" Anya choked. "What will I do, when there's nothing and no one left?"
"Escape," Levi told her.
"Don't insult me," she spat, her heartbreak morphing into rage, just as he knew it would. "Hange might be dead. Erwin...Erwin is riding to almost certain death. There's a high chance that the Beast Titan will take you out. I... I don't want to escape. Not without all of you."
"You have to carry on," Erwin told her. "You must guide whoever is left and make sure that our deaths, and the deaths of all our comrades, are not in vain. You have to pick up the pieces and continue on where I could not. You have to achieve our dream, Anastasya. Even if...even if I never learn whether or not I made the right choices...you will. And that's enough for me."
"There has to be some other way," she cried. "This...this can't be the end."
Erwin got to his feet and Levi followed suit. Anya blinked up at them both until Erwin offered her his hand and gently pulled her to her feet.
"Anastasya... The dream must live on with you."