Anastasya
Sunlight shone through the windows, casting shimmering rainbows across the walls and floor, and an insultingly pleasant warmth caressed the air. It was all wrong. How could such a sorrowful, soul-shredding day be so beautiful? Anya's tears had already begun as she'd pulled on her Scout overcoat and twisted her hair up, but the few stray drops were nothing compared to what was to come later. It was the day of the funeral, not just for Erwin but for all of the other Scouts who had sacrificed themselves in Shiganshina, and Anya's mask had finally fallen. She'd barely spoken more than a few sentences to Levi as they'd made their way to the venue. She was locked inside a prison of memories and grief, and she no longer possessed the energy, nor the desire, to free herself.
"I'm going to find Hange," Levi told her. "Wait here."
She sat in a chair by one of the many pillars in the great hall, which was packed full of members from all three military regiments as they waited for the service to begin. She hoped none of them would bother her in the meantime.
"Hey, why did you do that?!"
Anya glanced up when she heard Jean's voice from somewhere behind her.
"Because...someone has to tell the truth!" said Floch.
There was a pause.
"I know how desperate you were to revive Commander Erwin," Armin said quietly.
"That's right. It should've been the Commander, not you," Floch replied. "I'm not the only one who thinks that. We all do. Everyone who read the report thinks the same thing: why wasn't Erwin the one picked?"
"What the hell do you know about Armin?!" Eren demanded. "Tell me!"
"Nothing at all. I'm not his childhood friend, and we're not chums, either."
Levi silently reappeared beside Anya and together, they listened to the recruits.
"But I can still tell you why Armin was chosen. It's because you two and Captain Levi brought your emotions into it," said Floch fiercely. "You thought the injection was all yours and you made a totally irrational decision! Basically, it was too hard for you to let go of someone important!"
"Hey, you should shut your mouth," Eren warned.
"Eren. Deep down inside, I bet you think you're always in the right. That's why you never gave up. Just like a brat that won't listen."
"Eren. Just leave him alone," said Mikasa.
"Mikasa's the one who behaved like an adult. At least she gave up in the end."
"Hey! What the hell's wrong with you two?!" Jean demanded. "Floch, let's not do this during a funeral for our fallen comrades, all right?"
"What's done is done, so let's just drop it," said Conny.
"And you guys... You didn't stand up to your superiors. You didn't even stop Eren and Mikasa. All you could do was watch. Medals for what? A funeral for who? You guys better start telling the truth when you go to enlist more recruits. That way you won't get cowards like me joining by accident. What the hell are we supposed to do now without Erwin?!" Floch cried, before lowering his voice again. "Because...even fodder like me... I get that I'm completely expendable, but... Even fodder like me...has a right to decide if it's worth dying for!"
There was a heavy silence, and then Armin spoke again, his voice laden with sadness.
"Floch is right. Commander Erwin is the one who should've lived. I'm not the one who can turn this situation around."
"How can you be so sure of that?" Eren asked. "I really can't say if it was the right decision or not. None of us know what the future holds..."
"I'm going to the bathroom," Anya murmured, unable to sit there and listen to any more.
"Don't be long," Levi replied, equally as quiet.
As soon as she made it into the deserted corridor, Anya threw a hand against the wall to support herself and took a shuddering breath. Everything felt so broken. How was she ever going to fix it?
"Anastasya?"
She looked up to see Commandant Keith Sadies walking towards her. He was the only Commander in the entire history of the Scouts not to have died in the position, and he'd been like a father to Anya since the day she'd joined.
"Anastasya... I'm so sorry," he said, bowing his head. "I would've come sooner, but-"
He stopped talking when she threw her arms around him and, after a moment's hesitation, he hugged her back. Sadies knew of her and Erwin's history better than most, and had seen them grow from naïve teenagers to adults leading the way for humanity. Eventually, Anya stepped back.
"It's been too long," she sniffed. "I should've come and visited you more, old man."
"By the sounds of it, you've hardly had time to sleep, let alone ride all the way to see me."
"I still can't believe...that he's gone."
"I always knew you'd both change the course of humanity, but I never expected this," he said with a heavy sigh. "What will you do now?"
"I'll carry on. The regiment needs me."
To her surprise, Sadies chuckled.
"I remember all the rows we used to have about your refusal to take on more responsibility, and yet now you're jointly responsible for the entire regiment and its future. Do you realise you're the longest-serving member now?"
She felt her eyes widen. It was true. Hange and Levi had both joined after her.
"I'm proud of you, Anastasya. For so many reasons."
She managed a sad smile, and Sadies nodded to the hall.
"Levi is waiting for you. It's about to begin."
YOU ARE READING
The Path Back to You | Levi x OC
Fanfiction"Reveal yourself," Erwin ordered, though Mikasa detected uncertainty in the commander's voice. It was almost as though he were afraid of who lay beneath the cloak. The entire regiment held its breath as the rider reached up with pale hands and lowe...
