HS2: Matchmaker's Tragedy

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

"Tita Myrna..."

I am surprised when she went to hugged me tight. She's Tita Myrna, my aunt from my father's side. She cried on my shoulder and that time, I know that she already knew what happened.

"Sorry, ngayon lang ako nakapunta." She said. Nakaupo lang kami ngayon sa labas ng morgue. Mabuti na lang at dumating siya kasi hindi ko pa alam kung paano ko aayusin lahat ng ito. "Your father called me to check you out. He wants----,"

"Tita, don't. I-I honestly don't want to hear a-anything from him now." I avoided her eyes when I said those words. I don't think I can stand to hear his name.

"Okay. But now is his hearing, d-do you want to come with me?" I looked at her because of what she said. I thought he's already in jail? Not that I care, though.

"Sorry po. Ayoko pa po talaga." She sighed but still smiled at me. She caressed my back as if comforting me.

"Okay. Magpakatatag ka ha? Magiging maayos din ang lahat." I don't why I think of him because of that line. He is the one who says those words to me whenever I am in trouble. But like my family, I lost him, too.

Like what I said, I didn't come with her. I stayed in the house, doing nothing. Nakahiga lang ako sa kama habang nakatitig sa kisame na wala man lang kakitaan ng kahit ano.

After I broke up with him, I never saw him again. Hindi ko na siya muling nakita pa sa hospital. I wonder where he is right now. Is he studying? Is he crying? Is he thinking of me, too? I wanted to take back my words. I wanted to take him back.

But I know I can't. I shouldn't. Mas makakapag-focus siya kung wala ako. Mas magiging maayos ang lahat sa kanya kung wala ako sa buhay niya. And that's what painful. In order to grow, we have to take different path. For us not to pull each other down, we need to let go.

I wiped my tears when I heard the doorbell. Bumangon ako at inayos muna ang sarili ko. Hindi naman halatang umiyak ako pero halatang konti lang ang tulog ko. Those dark circles on my eyes are visible and anyone will easily notice it. Medyo pumayat na din ako, dahil siguro konti lang ang nakakain ko lately. Nang masigurong maayos na ang lahat, bumaba na ako.

"Sino 'ya---," I stopped when I saw him. He's looking down but when he realized that someone opened the door, he immediately looked up. His eyes glistened with happiness yet the pain is still evident. I composed myself again. "Anong ginagawa mo dito? Wala na tayo, Blake. Umuwi ka na."

"Xia, please..." He is now crying again! I don't want to see him crying but I don't want to give him false hope either. "I can't. Please, Xia, take me back. Promise, ipapasa ko ang periodical, just...just..." Umiyak lang siya ng umiyak sa harap ko. Kahit anong pigil ko sa luha ko, talagang taksil ang mga ito.

"Umuwi ka na. Hindi kita kailangan. Hindi na kita kailangan sa buhay ko." I immediately regretted what I said as I see the pain that crosses on his brown eyes. "Can't you see yourself, Blake? You are not the Blake that everyone knows! Si Blake, hindi ganito. He's not going to sacrifice his dreams for something that is worthless."

"You are not worthless!"

"I am! I am worthless! Everything in me is not worth it! I am not worth to fight!" Sa hindi mabilang na pangyayari, umiyak na naman ako. Ang hina-hina ko talaga sa ganitong bagay. "Kaya hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit mo ako pinagtitiyagaan. Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit ka nanatili."

"Dahil mahal kita. Isn't it enough reason for me to stay with you?"  He said those words while looking at my eyes.

"Umuwi ka na lang muna. Hindi...hindi ko pa kayang makipag-usap ngayon." And like the last time, I closed the door again. I closed that damn door for me to show him that he don't have chance anymore. That he should go home and forget me.