Accidentally In Love

CHAPTER 23: Things Will Be Different Now

LEONA

Did he just say what I thought he did? Is he for real right now? Everything that has happened moments ago is replaying over and over again in my head. I don't know if I can handle all of this now on top of it.

Fuck! I even hurt a guy. Not by much I mean, I just dug my heel onto the top of his shoe then elbowed the guy in his chest before next punching him (which hurt like hell, for me at least).

There are no specific words that come to mind right now and I am not sure honestly what to think.

"Why didn't you tell me before?" I ask.

"I wanted to. I tried so hard to find ways in telling you but, every time I even thought of a way, I didn't do it. I was afraid. But I swear I was going to tonight. Then I saw..." He stops himself.

I wish I could pinpoint exactly what I am feeling right now but my emotions are all over the place at the moment to where it is hard to pick one.

I look over at him for a moment and noticed he was looking at the steering wheel with his elbow propped up on the door next to the window and his fingers rubbing his forehead.

That was when I began feeling a little bad and also wondering how I should handle this-CAN I handle this?

"I need time to think, about all of this. This was a lot tonight." I tell him while fighting back tears as this has got to be one of the hardest things I have had to endure yet in my life and has me so emotional. Mainly because I still love him.

"I understand." Is all I hear him utter under his breath and not making eye contact still.

Next I begin to reach over to take hold of his hand but then quickly stop myself and pull my hand back.

"Goodnight." I tell him but he just continues sitting there without saying anything.

So I get out of the car and begin walking in through the gate to my apartment building and as I slowly walk towards the door to my apartment eventually, I feel my eyes not being able to hold in the tears anymore and begin falling down my face.

I love him so much and then this? Why did he have to be too good to be true? Have I done the right thing? I hope not.

***********************
1 Week Later

Every single day since that night I found out what Nolton really does for a living, I have longed for him. I missed him laying beside me. I missed smelling his cologne.

Brett had come over a couple of days after that night and I guess that Nolton told him what all had happened before he tried explaining to me about Nolton and the guy he really is. Including how underneath what I saw and heard him confess to me, Brett told me that he has never seen him this happy as he has been since he met me.

That was all nice to hear but at the same time, nothing to me justified what he does for a living. He hurts people. He probably has been through a lot but still, I can't seem to fathom or accept even, it being okay being part of that lifestyle. I don't know.

Then fiy, as of today, after thinking about things over and over again many times, as I already have been for the past week, I finally lost it and gave in. I couldn't take not being with him anymore. I need him. I want him. I just hope he still wants me too.

So I made my way over towards his house and right when I knocked, seconds later it was answered by one of his guys.

"Heyy." The guy greeted me happily.

"Hi. Is Nolton here?" I asked him.

"Uhh...." He started to think and for some reason all I could do was think of a scenario where this guy is going to try and lie to me because Nolton is with some girl right now.
And I can't help but think that since that has been my experience in the past.

"Nevermind." I tell him then turn around and walk back to my car while holding back tears.

"Wait, I was thinking about where he had gone off to. He said he was going for a drive and that was about an hour ago, so, I don't know when he'll be back exactly, but you can wait in here if you want." The guy offers.

"Thanks but I'll try him later, just let him know I came by." I tell him.

"Of course." He smiles at me.

Suuuuure he went for a 'drive'. I can't picture him being the type of person who would just go for a drive.

Then as soon as I got back to my apartment and stepped off the elevator to walk towards it, I am surprised to see Nolton standing there at my door when I arrive, leaning up against the doorway with flowers in his hand, facing me.

How did he get inside the duplex without a key? Maybe someone let him in........You know what? It doesn't matter. I notice right away that he looks as though he hasn't slept in a long time, according to the dark circles under his eyes.

He looked a bit nervous as was I but, at the same time I also couldn't contain my excitement for too long. So as I began walking closer to him, I couldn't help but feel my stomach fill up with butterflies.

"Hey." He greets me with a half smile.

"Hi." I replied. "Do you want to come in?"

"Yeah." He smiles a little more this time.

So we walk inside and as soon as he closes the door behind us, I quickly turn around to face him and we both start saying something at the same time.

"Sorry, you go first." I tell him.

"No, you." He suggests.

"Well, I've been thinking about us and I realized that I want to still be with you. Brett explained to me also that by accepting to be with you, he told me about the rules and some things to make me question things and although there is a part of me that doesn't like it, I know I would feel worse not being with you. Because I love you and honestly it terrifies me to even say that but, it's the truth and....." I admit then am stopped right away.

"Baby, I love you too. I've been in love with you since that first day we met and you stood up to me." He mentions as he walks closer to me and holds the side of my face.

"But Leona, do you seriously mean what you're telling me?" He asks with tears in his eyes.

"Yeah. I do." I nodded in reply with a smile.

"You have no idea what that means to me." He says happier than I have ever seen him while he wraps me tightly into his arms and begins kissing me.

From this moment on, things will be different. My life will have changed and will never be the same........It may just even be better.

Next chapter will be posted soon! :)