like a railroad

019

The words were written in red ink on a piece of ripped out magazine. It seemed to be out of Racer X, a motor cross magazine.

I only knew the brand because I had a certain ex that used to be subscribed. None other than Justin Ryan.

"El who wrote this?" He asked, the note was in one hand, and he pointed at the words with his other. As if I didn't see the huge, unorganized words on the paper already.

"Listen Josh, there's something that I need to tell you." His face flooded with worry. "Justin Ryan paid me a little visit in the hospital."

"What did he want?"

"Josh... he set the fire at the restaurant." It was my turn to shove my hands into my pockets.

"Shit... we should call the cops." I nodded. "You're right, let me get my phone, it's inside. Then we can head down to the station."

We grabbed all the mail and headed back down to the house.

The moment I stepped inside, something felt different. For one, the door was a bit open. I closed it behind me on the way to the mailbox. And also, I couldn't find my phone.

I mean I had Josh call it, Aaron call it, even had them Find My iPhone ding it. It was no where to be found. And Life360 said my location sharing was off.

Super weird.

We headed down to the station without it.

We walked through the entryway doors and my heart caught in my throat. It hit me.

I'm fucking scared.

What if they couldn't find a way to prove me right. What if they thought I was crazy?
Or worse... what if Justin found out about this and threatened to hurt more people?

"Ella? You good?"

I snapped out of my trance. I realized quickly that I was stopped still. Just standing there.

"Oh. Um yeah. Just a little nervous I guess." I scratched the back of my neck, continuing to look down at the floor.

I don't like admitting when I'm scared, I like pushing through and being independent. I hate admitting that too.

But it's true.

I don't tell people when I'm scared or need help.
And that's a big character flaw for me.

"You can do this. I don't know exactly how you feel right now. But judging by the fact that you are verbally admitting that you nervous... it speaks volumes."

I laughed at his nonchalant teasing.

"No but for real El. I love you, and you can do it." He held my hand and we continued walking up to the desk.

The guy at the front sent me into a room for questioning and Josh waited outside.

After I told the officer everything that happened. She exited the room saying that she was going to call the hospital to see if Justin's visit times checked out.

It obviously did, because when she came back out, she asked for the note, and asked if I had suspected home invasion or robbery of any one my items recently.

I told her about my whole phone deal, and she wrote some notes down before telling me that I could go, and she would call my home phone if she needed anything from me.