like a railroad

025

10 years later

I rubbed my eyes, the remaining dots of my mascara sticking to my fingertips. The camera reflected back my face. My hair tumbling messily over my shoulders. I had major raccoon eyes and my face was flushed.

God why was it so hot in here.

I walked over to the sink, splashing my face with cold water. Pulling the tissues from the box I rubbed away the remnants of my makeup.

You can do this Ella. Be strong for him.

A deep breath escaped my lips and I ran my hands through my hair, parting it neatly in the middle.

A toilet flushed and I quickly turned from the bathroom mirror, walking out the door.

The smell leaked back into my nose, the smell of alcohol wipes and metal equipment. The smell of a hospital.

Room 23B. I pushed knocked on the door three times, hoping for a response. "Come in." I turned the knob, feeling the familiar lighting hit my face.

"Hi Ash! How are you doing buddy?" The little boy's face lit up, his eyes gleaming at the sight of me.

"Mommy!" He stretched his little arms out.

I hugged his small frame, even though he was laying down, he smelled just like the banana pancakes his father had made him for breakfast a few days ago.

Ya know how when parents talk about having children and they spew that stuff about loving every inch of your child? And you think it is total bullshit.

It's really not.

The way his dusty blonde hair curled in little ringlets. His skin was tanner than most toddlers. The almond eyes on his face, brown and warm.

"Are you feeling better?" I released him from my embrace, but still rubbing his cheek with my thumb.

"A little bit, can we get ice cream?" I smiled. That was my kid... always up for a good ice cream cone.

"Maybe later. Let me go talk to your doctor real quick." I gave him an eskimo kiss. "I love you momma. Be right back." I smiled. "Be right back."

I got up from the bed, walking out the door. "How is he doing Dr.Dara?" The tall woman gave me a reassuring smile, looking down at her clipboard.

"As you already know, we diagnosed him with Type 1 diabetes. It will be a major lifestyle change, but I will be with you every step of the way."

I looked away, wiling a tear from my eye before turning back. She was my cousin, and no doubt one of the smartest people in my family. She had Type 1 diabetes as well and I trusted her with my son's life.

She pulled me into a hug, kissing the top of my head. Why was everyone so damn tall these days?

Dara let go of me, and rubbed my shoulder. "I have to go speak to another patient, but I just want to say that Ash is a strong little boy. You three will get past it. His medication will be at your pharmacy and he should be good for the next few hours. You downloaded the app right? That connects to his Dexcom?"

I smiled. "Yes, I did. Thank you again D." She kissed my cheek, walking away from me.

Opening the door to the room, a nurse was bandaging up the wounds from his IV. His hair was dangling over his face as he looked down at the Despicable Me bandaid.

"You ready to go Ash?" He looked up, holding his arms up for me once again. I scooped him up into my arms and let his head rest on my shoulder.

We walked out and got into my Ford Bronco Outer Banks. We had taken the top and doors off a while back and it was currently my favorite possession. The way the yellow sparkled... ah I'm in love.

I buckled him into the backseat. As he sat on his car seat I kissed the top of his head. I wondered if he thought about how tall everyone was.

We played his favorite song, 'Pocketful of Sunshine' and he bopped his head along. He was wearing his car headband. It was 90's style and had the little grooves that made his floppy hair sit back.

That piece of plastic was the only thing sitting between him and the wind blowing his hair all over his face.

...

We arrived at home and I turned off the engine, closing the garage and unbuckling the small boy from his seat.

He ran inside, and was caught in the arms of his father. "Hello little buddy." I looked up at the man's tan skin and blonde hair. His blue eyes connected with mine.

"Hey Chris." He winked at me, the little boy still in his embrace as he kissed his head.

Christopher and I had met in college, after Vinnie and I broke up. I can't really explain why we broke up, in fact, we never officially did.

But long distance... the calls get shorter and farther in between. Until they stop. And you just end up not talking to each other for days, then weeks, then months... until years.

I hadn't spoken to Vinnie since I was 20. And I am currently 28 with a 6 year old boy.

We were still friends... I think? I don't fucking know. But we do still follow each other on everything. And I mean when the press ask us about it, we never say anything bad about each other.

I recently starred in a movie that got me the title, best supporting actress. He came out with an album that won an award too!

Growing up is realizing that not everything is going to work out. And that is okay. I pulled out my phone, texting my best friends to this day.

Three musketeers

Me
I can not wait to see you all today, I have missed you both so much :))

Emily
I know, i feel like a part of my heart is fucking missing without you guys :(

Emily was currently a lawyer for one of the top law firms in the world. She took a break from social media to focus on her academics and never came back. She now lives in Chicago, Illinois with her three dogs and her boyfriend <3

Avani
Ugh i feel like i am about to combust I'm so happy. I will see you all soon <3

Avani owns her own designer fashion brand, and has celebrities wear her everyday! She married Anthony and they have a penthouse in New York. She moved out of LA when she turned 20, and her career has only grown since <3

Me
I miss you guys so much, I can't wait to see you later!

Avani
She you soon babes

Emily
Sending all of the love i have :))