Mistakes mean it's Real

Chapter 8

After we were able to leave the safe room, I ran to catch up with Maxon since he wasn't going to talk to me himself,

"You put your arm around her like it was nothing. She kissed your cheek and you did nothing about it!"

"You're keeping tabs on everything I do?"

"Maxon, I thought we ended this."

"Ended what?"

"You leading on the other girls."

"We didn't do anything. And, technically, we aren't engaged yet so I can do whatever I want."

"Maxon,"

"America, you have no idea how that argument made me feel. It was like having a conversation with him. I'm doing something wrong because I don't have the same opinion. I feel like what I think and how I feel is completely irrelevant."

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah, you always are." He sighed, "I have to go deal with the attack and hope I don't say the wrong thing."

"Come see me after?"

"Maybe. I have to go." He started to walk away

"Love you."

"Okay." He didn't look back.

"I promised him I wouldn't get involved..." I jumped at the hand placed on my shoulder and turned to see Queen Amberly, "But give him a little bit of space. He's like his father in that when he is upset or angry he needs to work it out by himself before working it out with another person. He'll be back. Maybe in 20 minutes or maybe tomorrow, but he will figure everything out and he will come talk to you." I just stood there and listened, "He's told you how he feels." I nodded, "He doesn't change his mind that quickly. He will still love you when he wakes up in the morning even if you are still arguing."

"He had his arm around Celeste and let her kiss his cheek."

"An immature way to make you jealous. I told him that doing that isn't how you fix problems so now it's up to him. Everything will work it's way out. Don't worry, dear." I nodded and she left. I waited a moment before also going up the stairs and didn't even take a moment to look around at the damage. I just went right up to my room.

I decided after an hour or so to make my way to the gardens but after I opened the doors I stopped,

"You seem tense. How can I help you?" I saw Celeste trace her finger down Maxon's jawline and he had his hands resting on her hips. He said something in her ear and she laughed before they both leaned in to kiss,

I let out a small laugh of disbelief, "I stayed for you." Maxon and Celeste looked at me. Celeste moved to stand next to him. "I told you that I loved you and you said it back. I helped you when you needed me. I trusted you. The safe room was one thing but I didn't think it would go this far. Your mom told me it was a stupid stunt to make me jealous and she said that she told you to stop."

"You aren't in charge of me." He said

"This isn't about being in charge of you, Maxon. It's so much more. It's the fact that I told you that I love you. I chose you just as much as you chose me and now I'm not even sure if you did choose me or if you just got caught up in the moment." I turned to walk away,

"America," I kept walking and quickened my pace as I heard his foot steps nearing me. When I got to my room, I slammed the door just before he reached it. He knocked loudly, "America, let me in." I sat on the floor against the door, "Please."

"Go away, Maxon."

"I'm sorry."

"You didn't look like you were sorry."

"I am now."

"No. Please go away. I don't want to see you right now."

"I love you. I love you more than life itself."

"Then why were you with Celeste? In our place? At our bench?"

"Our bench?"

"The bench you found me crying over on my first night. We sat and talked-"

"America, I know what happened that night. I remember it like it was yesterday. You were the first girl I laid eyes on. I agreed to let you stay as long as you pretended that you were here for me and not just to help your family or get away from your ex boyfriend. You were my first kiss. And it was a terrible first kiss but you said that you erased it and nobody needed to know and we tried again. We learned about Halloween and started a new tradition. And I told you that night that I chose you and that you were going to be my wife and then everything with Marlee happened and put so much distance between us and I hated that so much, America. I saw the pain in your eyes, I heard you scream my name, and you don't understand how badly I wanted to run over to you and just hold you in my arms until it was over. To beg you not to blame me. To tell you that I never wanted them to get hurt. And I knew I couldn't keep the fact that she was here a secret so I brought you to see her and-" I opened the door and saw him wringing his hands and pacing. I stood there for a minute just watching him, "And then there was the rebel attack and you ran into the woods and I tried to prepare myself for if you never came back but I failed. I don't know what I would've done if something had happened to you. America, you wanted to get rid of castes, I've been wanting to do that since you told me about how the lower castes suffer. You want the change that I want. And you are the first person I have ever told about my back. And you helped me so much that night. Then August and Georgia told us that most of the public want you to be the princess. To be the girl that I choose. We danced in the rain. And you gave away your jewelry, your songbird necklace too, so that man could pay for his crime so he wouldn't get sent to jail. Because you knew he only did what he had to do and you wouldn't let him get put away for it. And, America, that was one of the most selfless things I've ever seen you do. What you did was eye opening for me to know that you are the girl I love." I stepped out into the hall and closed the door behind me. At the sound of the door, he stopped, facing away from me, "And then your dad passed and I went to Carolina with you and I learned about Aspen and I was so mad but you made it clear to me after that you were here for me. Because you wanted me. And now here we are. And that's our story," He turned around to face me, "and I don't want it to be over." He turned and looked at me, then quickly closed the space between us, "I don't want our story to be done yet."