The Reyes | b.e.

chapter ten

i was sad. i mean, worse than i already was.

i kind of went on a downward spiral for weeks and nothing i did made me feel better. and honestly, i dont even know if i wanted to get better. i had no motivation to get better cause i couldnt see myself being happy or having a fullfiled life in any version of the future. i couldnt feel shit and i couldnt get out of bed but i didnt wanna try to because there was nothing good waiting for me outside my room. just a bunch of more shit to deal with.

additionaly, billie had cut me off completely, and she didnt give no explanation either. i just felt really fucking alone.

the only people i had were diego and adamaris, who was my dads sister ane the closest thing to a mother id ever had.

she didnt live with us, but she was in the house almost every day and practically raised me as her own.

she worried about me a lot, and i could see how much it hurt her to see me like this, which is just another reason that made this whole thing so much harder. but i was so grateful for both of them.

although billie wasnt speaking to me anymore, she still had the nerve to come to my house with her crusty ass "boyfriend", avoiding me and pretending she didnt see me when she did. but its fine. fuck her.

-you sure you ok, mija? youve barely left your room for weeks... or your bed, for that matter - adamaris said, sitting at the foot of my bed.

-i know, im sorry... i'll try to do better. - i lied, but it was only a half lie. i wasnt really willing to try to get better for myself, but maybe i could try for her. or maybe if i could just convince her i was better?

-im not asking you to do stuff, thats not what im worried about. i just to see you smiling again. - she admitted with a frown that broke my heart in two, but i didnt know what to say. - what do you say i drive you to school tomorrow?

-i have a car, mami - i laughed.

-oh, please. you think i dont know you been skipping school? diego tells me everything, dont even try this shit with me. - i looked down embarrassed, but her tone wasnt mean. -im driving you, not even a conversation. i want you to get up, wash your face, soak up the sun a lil. plus, we could go have breakfast anywhere you want.

-anywhere i want?

-anywhere that fits in my wallet. - she replied with a smirk.

-haha, very funny.

***

-c'mon kid, we gon be late- ademaris rushed me while i got my bag and laced my shoes.

she took me to eat at my favorite place and then took me straight to school after that.

-you sure i have to go? - i frowned, hoping shed give in last minute.

-yeah, im sure. dont try these games with your tia, its disrespectful- she said, jokingly acting like she was offended as if i doubted her intelligence. -now get out before i push you off the car, i love you.

-love you mami. - i said and took off.

my school wasn that bad, it just wasnt good. i slept through almost all of my classes and didnt have many friends, but no one bothered me either. probably cause theyre scared. good.

there a few... acquaintances. people id smile at if i saw them in the hallway and theyd smile back, but we never went deeper than that. girls i fucked from time to time but never went deeper than that. boys i fucked from time to time but never went deeper than that.