The Reyes | b.e.

chapter sixteen

i got out of dragon and stepped into the police station, leaving billie in the car. i knew my brother would feel more comfortable talking to only me. i left my jacket with her so she could cover her crown tat that was... well, a lot more visible than mine.

i was led to a visting room. as relieved as i was to see diego, i was almost scared to look at him. scared to face the fact that it was real. it was really happening.

i was told i couldn't hug him, but i held his hand as tight as i possibly could as i tried not to cry so i could speak to him.

he looked calm, just as he did when she was handcuffed in our living room, telling me i would be ok. he's a protector. he would hold the weight of the world so it didn't crush me and pretend he was completely unaffected. but now was my turn to protect him.

-bry, you didn't have to come...

-yes, i did. i'm not leaving you in here, not a chance i hell. you need to tell me what happened.

-i... - he paused, looking around scared, as if someone could hear us. -i didnt do it. i swear on papi's life, it...

-of course i know that! and i wouldn't give two fucks if you had done it, we're family, we protect our own. if you'd done it, i would've trusted your reasons.

-i don't know if i should get you involved in this,  this shit is dangerous, and you're..

-what? i'm what? - i raised my eyebrow, almost as if i was daring him to say what he was really thinking.

-... impulsive when you're angry.

-i'm not angry. i'm fucking desperate. i can't be without you, you're my rock, you're all i have left of a family- i felt like i was gonna cry, but i didn't. i refused to make this about me. - you need to tell me the truth before i throw a tantrum right here and now, im being dead serious.

-just let it go, ok? there's nothing you can do about this, i'm sorry, i am, but face it. you know i'm right. go home. be with the gang, they need you. and organize protection cause y'all gon need it. bry, listen, you need to be ready to attack back. can you promise me this? promise be you'll be safe, it's all i really want.

even when his ass is in jail, he's still thinking about me. my safety. their safety. he's the most selfless (and most stubborn) motherfucker i know, sometimes too good for his own good, but right now he had to think a little about himself.

-ok, i promise. but just...tell me the truth. please. i swear not to do any dumb shit - i said, crossing my fingers.

-dont get smart right now and tell me that you told me so but... matthew broke the truce.

-what???? when? why? - i couldn't say i was surprised, i just didn't understand. what led him to do this? how am i only now hearing about this?

-a few months ago... he started dealing in their block without my permission and when the angeles girl confronted him, he shot her on the spot.

-that doesnt make any sense. how the fuck we didn't get attacked by the angeles til now?

-no one knew she was dead. he took care of her texts, told everyone she was leaving and shit. i was gonna kick him out for this but he forced my hand on his gun so he had my fingerprints and used it as leverage the whole time. - he sighed and shook his head as if trying go push away the memory. - see bry, this is why i was telling you to stop playing with his girl, guy's a fucking psycho. like yeah, he's a pussy and a coward but he's also fucking crazy. i never want you to get hurt.

-this... this is my fault... - a tear escaped my eyes, despite my best efforts. - i've been reckless and a terrible leader and too focused on my own shit that... FUCK! - i yelled as i hit the table with my fist in frustration.

i didn't regret anything with billie, but just... the way i locked myself in my room for weeks. the way im not with the guys right now. the way i picked a fight matthew just because i could. the little things i could've avoided... i left my gang hanging when they needed me most and i didn't think twice when i saw diego tip toeing around what exactly he was talking about with matthew or why he didn't want me hanging out with billie... i was oblivious and let my brother get used as a scape goat in front of my own eyes.

-bry, listen to me! this is not your fault!- his voice was firm, his eyes completely fixated on me. - you're just a kid. and you're struggling and you're going through your own shit and you're not perfect and you're not supposed to be perfect. you shouldn't even be dealing with this at this age, ok? this is his fault and his fault only.

-you know what? i think you're right. it is his fault. - i could tell my tone alarmed him, cause he knew he was right; i get impulsive when im angry. but more than that, i protect my family. - i'm gonna get you out of here. before the end of the week, i swear to god.