Mistakes We've Made..

~Seven~

Jon and I laid in his bed together, I still hadn't told him but he knew something was up. I pressed myself closer to him, trying to figure out how to come out and say it, I couldn't imagine losing Jon.

"What's wrong?" He asked, for the third time since I'd gotten here.

"I just don't want to lose you." I whined into his chest, fighting back tears. "I love you."

"I love you too, Devon." He said. "Why would you lose me?"

"Because..." I trailed off. I couldn't do it, I couldn't bring myself to say it. "I don't know."

"Well, I'm not going anywhere." He said, kissing the top of my head.

"Good." I smiled, wrapping my arms around him. "Promise?"

"I promise." He smiled, at me.

Jon and I ended up spending the day together, for the most part just laying together silently. It was nice silence, everything felt peaceful between he and I. I let the pregnancy and Ben and everything that was completely wrong, slip my mind and just enjoyed my time alone with Jon.

**

I woke up and sighed heavily, it was Monday. That meant I had to go to school, and see Jon and Ben and Aaron... What if Ben asked Jon about it? What if Aaron asked Jon about it? Oh fuck me, please... Let this all be a nightmare. I dragged myself out of bed, pulled my hair back into a quick pony tail, pulled on whatever clothes I had that were clean and started my walk towards the school.

I felt myself start to panic as I stepped up the front steps of the school, my anxiety level rising as I got closer and closer to my locker. I kept attempting to take deep breaths as I approached my locker, but everything came out short and shaky. I was beginning to feel as though I was going to faint.

"Devon..." Aaron looked at me worriedly as I passed him and Jon at their locker. "Are you okay?"

I nodded, knowing I wasn't okay but not wanting to bother anyone about it, let alone tell anyone why.

"You don't look okay." Jon stated, walking towards me.

"I'm fine." I managed to get out. "Just not feeling 100% today."

"You should have stayed home." Jon said, opening my locker for me.

"No, I can't miss bio." I whined, putting my bag in the locker. "I'll be fine."

"Are you sure?" He asked, his voice growing concerned.

"If I feel worse, I'll go home." I smiled at him. "Okay?"

"Fine." He mumbled. "You'd better let me know how you feel."

"I will, I promise." I said, kissing his cheek quickly. "I love you."

"I love you too."

"Morning." We turned to see one terrible looking Ben, which was odd since he was usually full of energy in the mornings.

"Are you okay?" Aaron asked.

"I don't know." Ben answered, slumping against the locker beside Jon's.

"What's up?" Jon asked him.

"Just got some bad news." Ben shrugged. "Trying to figure it all out in my head."

"What happened?" Aaron asked.

"Nothing... I don't want to talk about." Ben sighed. "Let's all just hope it gets taken care of."

I immediately stared down towards my stomach, I knew why Ben was so distraught... He obviously didn't want to have a baby right now, let alone lose one of his friends because of who he was having a baby with.

"You both should go home." Jon said. "Both of you look terrible."

"Thanks." I laughed a little.

"You're still beautiful." Jon smiled at me. "But you look sick."

"I'm not going home." I stated. "I can't miss time at bio."

Before Jon could say anything the bell went off, signalling that we all had to get to class. I said goodbye to Aaron and Ben, and walked to math with Jon. Much to our surprise, Christina and Ian were already in class talking together.

"Good morning." Christina smiled at Jon and I, as we took our seats.

"Morning." Jon and I both smiled at the two of them.

"How was your weekend?" Christina asked.

"It was alright, I saw you most of it." I laughed. "Yo, Ian can I steal a cigarette off you at lunch?"

"I thought you quit?" Ian laughed.

"Fuck it."

"Alright then." Ian laughed. "Jon, will you kill me if I give her one?"

"No." Jon told him. "But I'd prefer it if you didn't smoke, Dev."

I shrugged. "It's just one."

I bit my lip, what a wonderful mother I was, pregnant and smoking... I shouldn't... But I need one, just one.