renmin oneshots

for tonight

by : chainreaction

tags : soft af, cuddling

No matter how many times Jaemin shifts around under the blankets, there’s nothing he can do to get comfortable. The sheets rustle again as he flips onto his stomach, staring up at the dark ceiling. He kicks at the blankets with his feet, shoving them all down to the end of the bed, and rolls over to pad out of the room.

Renjun is in the living room, books resting on his knees as he sits next to the table lamp. He was always the last to go to bed, because he preferred the quiet of the night in contrast to their hectic days. As Jaemin’s feet shuffled along the floor, Renjun’s gaze came up to meet him.

“I thought you were going to bed,” Renjun says, hardly above a whisper to avoid breaking the fragility of the night air.

“I am,” Jaemin says, holding his hand out to the boy on the couch. Renjun looks down at this book, then back up at Jaemin’s waiting hand. He dog-ears the page with a sigh before flipping the book shut and taking Jaemin’s hand.

“Couldn’t sleep?” Renjun says, but Jaemin just hushes him in response.

Jaemin’s feet are heavy on the wooden floors as his body finds it more and more difficult to fight his exhaustion. His pajama pants are just a bit too big, the legs skimming the floor and his toes barely sticking out from underneath. His hand is a bit cold against Renjun’s, it always is, but Jaemin still drags him along into the bedroom while his eyes re-adjust to the darkness.

Jaemin crawls into bed first, scooting all the way back against the wall. He pulls the covers back up from where they lay in a pile, but holds them open to invite Renjun inside.

Renjun flops in, flat on his back, already feeling Jaemin’s arm wrap around his front like second nature. Jaemin is smiling in the dark, Renjun knows he is, even if he can’t see it. Jaemin’s hand ghosts around Renjun’s side, pulling him closer, and Renjun turns over so that they’re facing each other.

“Feel better?” Renjun says, his head fitting just under Jaemin’s chin. He feels a bit like a teddy bear with the way that Jaemin snuggles him tight to his chest, but he doesn’t mind.

Jaemin does feel better, really, he always feels more at ease when he can be with Renjun. But that goes unsaid because it’s not new information to either one of them. This is the way they are, neither of them have any desire to change it.

“Jun?” Jamein calls, almost like Renjun is far away from him. Renjun hums back in response, one of his arms moving up to hold Jaemin by the hip.

But Jaemin has nothing else to say. The reassurance that Renjun is there, awake with him, is enough. He can feel Renjun’s breath against his neck, steady and slow. It doesn’t make sense; Renjun is calm and serene, but Jaemin can feel his heartbeat in his throat going twice the tempo of Renjun’s breathing. His hand slides down Renjun’s back, then up again to his shoulder blades. Jaemin figures that if he knew what it felt like to hold an angel, he was doing it now. Not because Renjun is beautiful and sweet as he curls into Jaemin’s arms, but because Renjun seems to have a bubble of security around him, and Jaemin feels safe every time he gets close enough to the boy. Right now, this bed feels like the safest bed in this world that they could possibly be, and Jaemin feels sleep’s embrace as he holds Renjun that much tighter.

“Psst,” Jaemin says, a low whisper that seems to cut through the air. “Are you still awake?”

“Mhmm,” Renjun murmurs as he snuggles further into Jaemin’s chest. “Are you?”

“No,” Jaemin says, and Renjun can hear the smile on his voice. They both laugh a little bit without making a sound, just a slight movement of shoulders because they don’t have the energy to laugh much.

Jaemin can feel Renjun breathing through the hand on his back, he can feel his own breathing sync to it as he listens closely to every inhale and exhale. Renjun is much closer to sleep than him, working counteractive to his original plan. He figures Renjun deserves the rest, but he wishes that he could dream just as soundly as Renjun did.

“Jaemin,” Renjun says, bright and clear, and it shocks Jaemin out of his thoughts. “I can practically hear you worrying from here.”

Jaemin laughs a little bit, hiding the panic that sets in at the reality of his thoughts. Renjun knows his heart all too well, but Renjun doesn’t know that he’s the topic of all his heart’s desires.

“Sorry,” Jaemin says, reaching up to thread his fingers in Renjun’s hair. “Just a lot on my mind.”

“Wanna talk about it? I’m a good listener,” Renjun says, and Jaemin knows that he’s given up on sleeping until he knows that Jaemin is alright. Jaemin could say everything that’s on his mind, he could spill his guts and face the possibility of Renjun climbing out of bed and stumbling in the dark just to get away from him. He decides that spending the night like this is worth a few more hours of turmoil if it means that he can sleep soundly with Renjun between his arms.

“No, it’s okay,” Jaemin says, looking down to make out Renjun’s face in the dark. Renjun’s eyes hold a little bit of worry but a lot more love. “I’d rather just go to sleep.”

“You don’t have to be worried with me here,” Renjun says, head moving back down to put his ear against Jaemin’s heartbeat. “Whatever it is, don’t worry about. For tonight, at least.”

“Sure,” Jaemin says, “I won’t. Worry about it, I mean.”

“Good,” Renjun says, pulling on Jaemin’s arm until he can reach to braid their fingers together.

They don’t say goodnight, they don’t need to. Instead, Renjun gives a squeeze to Jaemin’s hand, and Jaemin squeezes back, and drifting off to sleep comes naturally.