The Fighter

Chapter 36

"Really?" Gavin looked at me very surprised. "Can I ask what made you think about this? You were so dead set against it." "Yes, Gavin. And, I've been thinking about what I want to do with my life. I want to go to the fire academy, and I'll have such an off schedule, it wouldn't be good for Avery." I sighed. "I understand. You want to get your life on track and get your feet on the ground before you support a child." "Yeah, and I've been thinking about it a lot. I don't want to give her up. This is the hardest decision that I have ever had to make." "I know, it has to be tough for you, but you would be doing the right thing. You'd be making a life for you and her." "I know, and I've been thinking about this so much. I'm just really scared. I can run into a burning building when everyone else is running out and that doesn't scare me. I've crawled in to a car and pulled out a dead person and that doesn't bother me. Thinking about giving up my sister, now that bothers me. Not waking up next to the one thing that has given me a reason to get up in the morning, now that scares me." I was getting choked up a little bit.

"Mickie, you're a brave and strong person. I know that this is very hard for you. No matter what I think, this is your decision and I'm here to support whatever you decide. If you decide that keeping the guardianship is what's best for you and Avery than I'm right there behind you. If you decide to give it to me, that's fine too. If you do give it to me, it's not like I won't let you see her. You can see her, take her, and talk to her whenever you want. And, if you do go to the academy, continue to go to college, and/or get a job, then I'll give her right back. Even if you want her back sooner. I will give her back when you are ready." "Really?" "Yes, we can even get that all in writing too. Just to prove that I'm serious about this." "Okay. Avery, what would you think of staying with Gavin for a while?" I asked her. "Will I still see you?" she asked. "Of course you will Avery. Nothing is going to change between you and me. I will still call you every night, I will see you all the time, I will take you out with me, and you, me, and Ky will go hang out. As soon as I get on track, you and I will be back together forever." I smiled. . I know she heard the whole conversation and I know that she understood some things, but I think that it scares her too. "Okay." She hugged me. "So, I think I've made a decision. Gavin, I think that you should watch over Avery for a while." "So, you're handing over guardianship?" "Yes, for now." "Okay. I love you both very much." Gavin got up and hugged me.

I went home and told Grandma about my decision. She was a little sad that I had to make it so soon, but she was proud of the direction that I'm heading. I went to see Kyle for a little bit. It was just him home, thank God. "Are you okay?" he asked after I walked in. I sat next to him on the couch and lost it. "No." I forced out between my sobs. "Mick, what's going on? Why are you upset?" he hugged me tight. "I gave Gavin guardianship. For a while at least." "Oh, Mickie. Why?" he asked and I told him the whole story. "You did the right thing. This doesn't mean that you don't love your sister. This means that you love her very much. You love her so much that you are making decisions that will make both of your lives better in the future and this isn't forever. You'll get her back. I know you and you won't stop until you feel like you should get her back." "Thanks Ky. I really needed this. I started out thinking I was doing the right thing and then I met with Avery and Gavin, I made the decision, and then I was doubting myself." "You should never ever doubt yourself. You have amazing instincts. That's why if I want anyone inside a burning building with me, it would be you."

"Well, something else has to be bothering you too. Not only do you look like you've seen a ghost, but you look like you are about to lose it again." Kyle knew something else was on my mind too. "Papa asked me to check the hoses and make sure that they were dried and put away this morning. I went to the station, and most of them were put away. So, I finished them and John showed up. He and I talked, made amends, and then he said that I was going to need all my friends right now." "Why?" Kyle was confused. "Because he said that Greg was coming back." "Are you serious?" "Dead serious." "Oh boy." "Yeah, and if that's not the best thing you've heard all day, Jet came out and said that he's still in love with me on the way home from seeing you last night." "Can't you ever catch a break?" "Never. I can never catch a freaking break." I was frustrated. "You'll be okay Mickie. You're not going through this alone. You never have been alone with things and you never will be." "That's because I have amazing friends like you." "Oh you know it." He laughed.

I went home and lounged on the couch. It was early evening. Grandma and Papa went out to dinner, so I was alone. Outside of the fire department, I have no life what's so ever. Jet was texting me, so I was at least talking to him. I had the pager on scan and was listening everyone else's calls. I had a feeling that we weren't going to be out tonight. After a while, I decided to call Jet and tell him to meet me at the station. I filled him in on everything while we were washing trucks. "Do you know when he's coming back?" he asked scrubbing the truck. "No, I only know that he is." "Maybe you have more time than you think." "He left me in a day, he can come back in a day. And, that's what scares me." "Hey, don't be scared. Do you really think that any of us would let him near you?" Jet hugged me. "Not while you guys are around. That doesn't mean he won't come to my house, or here when I'm here and you idiots are at work." "Can't you just shut up for five minutes and let me make you feel better?!" He laughed still holding on to me. "No! Because I'm living in reality." "You're crazy!" "You've known that!" "I know." He smiled and I shook my head.