The Fighter

Chapter 31

We got back to the station and cleaned up. I helped Ky wash trucks. We avoided John the very best that we could. I was not going to deal with him too. I just wanted to go home. It wasn't long before everyone left and it was Ky and I sitting in the office. "Are you okay?" he asked after a few minutes of silence. "Yeah, I'm fine. I just need to go home and sleep it off. I can't even process everything that happened today. It just feels like a dream." "But it's hurting you really bad right now." "Yeah." I sighed looking down at my phone I had a message from Gavin. It said:

"We have to talk about Avery."

'Great." I groaned. "What?" "My day just got even better." "Why? Who is it?" "My brother, he wants to talk about Avery." "Great, you want to call him while you're here?" He asked looking at the office phone. "Yeah, I'll be more behaved here." "Yeah, I know.' He handed me the cordless phone and I dialed Gavin's number. "Hello?" Gavin answered. He didn't recognize the number. "Hey, it's Mickie." "Oh, hey. Where are you calling from?" "The station, we had a call and just got back." "Okay. Listen, I have an idea about Avery and I want to know what you think." "Okay, let's hear it." "Okay, promise me that you'll listen to me all the way through before you say anything." Gavin knew me all too well. "Okay, I promise. Just tell me your idea." I put him speaker because I knew that Ky would want to hear this. "Okay, so I was thinking that we could do a every other week thing. Like you get her for a week and I get her for a week and then during the weekend she goes wherever she wants. Like, I know you're busy sometimes with your boyfriend and the department, and I'm busy with my new job, the apartment, and Julie. I thought that this might be a better way instead of fighting over her. Like, you still are her guardian and you still have 100% of the say with her. I just don't want to be at war with you anymore." His voice was shaky.

I stayed quiet for a minute and then sighed. "Gavin, we can try it for a while and see how it goes." "Really?!" "Yes, and since you already have her, you can keep her until the end of the week. She's staying over with her friend Allie from school on Saturday night." I gave in, I couldn't fight anymore, I honestly couldn't. "Thank you Mickie! I feel so relieved." "Me too, Gav. Hey, I'll call you in the morning okay?" "Yeah, I'll talk to you then. Love you." "Love you too. Have Avvy call me when she gets up." I hung up and looked at Ky. "Did your day just get a little better? You're not fighting with your brother anymore." Ky smiled. "Yeah, it's like one weight is lifted." "Yeah, I know." He laughed. "Okay, Mickie. I know that you hate leaving this place, but we both have to go home and sleep." "Yeah, I know." I yawned.

We shut the lights off and both went home. I walked in the door and everything was quiet. I went into my room and laid down. I could not stop thinking about this morning. It haunted me to say the least.

I stared at him and then started walking toward him. He looked scared. "Mickie, I can explain. I know that you want answers." He spoke quickly and stayed in the same place that I caught him. "You have no idea what I want. I don't want any more answers. I want blood." I pushed him against the hose rack and held him there. "Mickie calm down! Get off of me! I just want to talk!" he tried to push me away but I wasn't giving in. I was holding him there. "You're a lying cheating, leaving sack of shit! I know about your other girlfriend. I know about your current one! I honestly thought that you loved me!" I pushed him harder.

He left me. Without a single word. Of course I was mad. But honestly, I didn't want to hurt him.

"You don't give shit because if you did, everything that you said to me would've been true. You're just a little boy who's scared of being alone. You're a little boy who runs away from things when he's scared. I might be a mess, but you're a mess yourself my dear. You're a mess of broken pieces and I hope that one day someone can love you enough that all those pieces will fit back together. And apparently that's more than I ever could."

It was like a night mare that I couldn't wake up from.

"I don't want to see you, I don't want to talk to you. I want you gone, from here, from New York, and from my head! Have a great life and remember this, you never leave your partner, especially in a fire!" I walked out.

That's what I was holding for two long months. The pain of him leaving has killed me every day, even when I had John. I didn't love John anymore. I just didn't want to be by myself. I didn't need John, I needed my best friend. I needed Ky, and John knew that.

The dogs started going crazy. I got up and walked out to the kitchen. I answered the door. It was Greg. He was at my house, at 3am. "What are you doing here?" I asked. My heart flipped. Like it does every time that I see him. "I came to see you for a second. I want to talk, just for a few minutes." "Okay, fine." I walked outside and closed the door behind me. "So, I'm guessing that you're leaving." I sighed. "Yeah, I'm going home." "Yeah, I honestly thought that you were already gone by now. You know how weird it is to hear you call that home? I just always pictured you here." "Yeah, I know." "Honestly Greg, what was I? To you?" I asked the first thing that came to my mind. "Honestly?" "Yeah, completely honest."

"My everything. When I held you, I had the whole world in my arms and no one else did." "Okay, so why did you come here? To say goodbye?" "Yeah. I did." "Okay." "Listen, everything you said this morning or yesterday was true. I get that now. I just can't be here. I can't ruin your life anymore." "You didn't ruin it when you were here. But now, you can't stay or you'll be ruining someone else's. So, let's quit while we're ahead and leave it right here. Leave it at that." "Yeah, that's a good idea. I'm sorry. I will see you when I see you." "See you when I see you. Be good." I felt like I was going to lose it. "I'll try. Mickie, don't change okay?" "Okay." I smiled and he started walking away.

I turned around to walk back inside and he ran back up and turned me around. He kissed me and I fell again. "I love you, and I always will." He sighed and ran to his truck before I could say a word. He left. for the last time.
I walked back inside and slowly to my room. I felt hurt still, but some how I felt better too. I laid back in my bed and stared at the ceiling. I felt the tears. "I love you too." I said as the tears started to run down my face.