Imaginary Highways - Alex Turner fan fiction

Chapter 37 The Friendship Renewer

I haven't slept all night. After Nick and Missy left me, my eyes shut themselves but my mind was on full working mode. Alexander found a fuel for my overthinking and he overfilled the tank.

There were times where I felt like I was falling asleep but then Alexes voice filled my head and it was happening all over again. I had no control over it.

Or there were times were I thought it was finally over but I suddenly got a cramp. To my calf, to my thigh or even to my arm. I got cramps to my calfs so many times that when I finally decided to stand up I almost immediately fell back because my calfs were just so overwhelmed.

I was supposed to be at the airport at 9 o'clock and I decided to 'wake up' at 6. I made myself some coffee and rested on my sofa.

These two hours felt like eternity. I also managed to dress up and put my remaining make up off. This was the first time I thoroughly looked at myself in the mirror.

I didn't like the sight one bit. My eyes had black scattered all over them. It's probably because of how much I cried that night.

I decided to not let myself get even more depressed and quickly escaped the mirrors image when the darkest colors were gone. The only thing I noticed in advance were these black circles underneath my blue eyes.

I started my car and drove to the airport. When I parked and stepped out I already saw some paparazzi placed at the gate. Someone from the boys must have been already there.

I got my sunglasses on and steadied my breath that was already starting to speed up. Once I assured myself I was ready, I slowly walked to the entrance. All of them already focused on me with their cameras and I hated it. I hated the gazes, the big camera lenses.

I reached them and started to make my way through them. I didn't allow myself to listen to them but I overheard some glimpses and that was enough to make me exhausted.

"Miss Clarke how is Alex?"
"Miss Clarke is something wrong?"
"You look terrible"

Yeah thank you, I didn't look at the mirror this morning I don't know how I look.

When I made my way through them I started to regret the decision of coming in here. I saw Alex, Jamie and Katie hanging around and talking.

At first I froze at place watching them laughing and conversing about something. Alex looked happy. He looked... satisfied. I don't know what I was expecting. That he would look drained and empty like I probably looked? No he wouldn't, some weight just fell of off him, of course he would be relieved.

As I was standing there busy being in my thoughts, we locked gazes.

My heart stopped beating, it was like I saw him for the first time only with one little catastrophic change, this time will be the last.

The moment I saw Alex my eyes have immediately wandered off because I couldn't handle it. I couldn't handle that hot chocolate barrel of hatred, not again and definitely not today.

I approached the three member group walking as quickly as I possibly could. I just felt uncomfortable when I knew they were looking at me.

As soon as I was close enough for them to see my facial features clearly I put on an excellent charade of a smile and found comfort in Katies arms. My smile fell off once I hugged her. She was so small yet she still managed to comfort me perfectly.

Then I put that smile back on and went to hug Jamie. My eyes haven't fully landed on Alex yet. I was afraid of what I might feel.

"How are you?" Jamie whispered in my ear.
"Fine" I simply replied "thank you" I added right behind my weak 'fine' and hugged him a little bit tighter.