Feel Again (girlxgirl)

Chapter 1: Prolouge

Have you ever listened to the song "Feel" by Robbie Williams? but really listened to it.  

I remember the first time I listened to the lyrics of this song... I was in a really dark place. I always knew the song but I noticed how much it speaks to me only in that moment. after she broke my heart for the first time. it seems like all I do is fall in love with the wrong people... first it was Jade that dumped me for a stupid guy, then it was Lea that said she was'nt ready for a serious relationship and now it's her. for the second time... how the hell do I recover from this? i'm in that dark place. again. 

I miss my brother, he'd know what to do.. I bet he would tell me to "get over the bitch!" and lift me up in his shoulder, get out of the house and throw me in the freezing water of our pool... "you need to wake up" he'd say. and he'd try to help me get out but i'll pull him back into the pool and then our mom would yell at us but really inside she's laughing her butt off. I miss these days...  

I never should've forgive her. she told me it was just a kiss, and I was so blindly in love with her that I could'nt let her go.. but now, it's over. I don't even know if I love her or hate her. I think it's both.  

She cheated on me with my best friend! I just can't believe this! I was happy, we both were, why did she have to do this to me? and Noel, I can't believe he would do something like that to me. we were best friends since kindergarden.. I hate him.  

and here I am again, sitting in my bed, crying my eyes out.. I locked the door so mom and ashley can't come in.. I know I should let ashley in, she's my sister and she is my best friend but... I need to be alone. I took off all the pictures of Sarah and I off of the walls, I see no point in keeping them there. 

"Jessica, come on let me in! you don't need to be alone right now.. mom gave up but you know I wont leave until you'll open the door" ashley said from the other side of the door. I know she wont leave but I just can't.  

Damn it, Rick... why did you have to leave me in that stupid car accident?! I was right there sitting next to you! I told you to slow down... I told you!.... you almost killed both of us you asshole.. I miss you.