𝐵𝑇𝑆 𝑆𝑖𝑐𝑘𝑓𝑖𝑐𝑠 / REQUESTS OPEN

𝐻𝑜𝑠𝑒𝑜𝑘 - depression 🧷

Requested by habibamans

⚠️ depression, suicidal thoughts, bad habits, weight loss

Sickie: Hoseok
Caregiver: Yoongi
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Jhope was known to be a very cheerful person. He always smiled, laughed and talked much. Everyone loved his jokes and his energy!
But that was Jhope, Jhope was a character Hoseok had perfected over the years. Sure, he loved being Jhope, he was always laughing and happy. But unfortunately Hoseok wasn't like Jhope.. Hoseok also liked to laugh, but like everyone else he had dark sides... and over the years this side got darker and darker.. He was less and less Hoseok but more and more Jhope, nobody noticed it though.

His heart got broken many times. He used to be the member that dated the most. He had dated girls but also guys. But it had never been really serious, expect for one relationship with a girl, in his Trainee days..
Hoseok and the Girl were really close. They wanted to live together and to marry.

He loved her more than himself, which sometimes caused problems. He often forgot himself. Bought her everything she wanted even though he didn't have a lot of money and trained extra hard for her to make her think he was pretty.
Because Hoseok wasn't particularly confident. He was always told how ugly he was, but his girlfriend was different.. he thought..
As quickly as he opened his heart to her, just as quickly did she break it. Hoseok hadn't known that his girlfriend, his whole life, had made out and dated all sorts of men every night. Until one day he caught her.
She promised him that it would never happen again and as naive as he was he believed her. But it didn't get any better. She became toxic and always started arguing with him about what he was doing wrong and that he should earn more money.
But as a trainee you earned almost nothing.. he tried to keep his head above water with part-time jobs, but the money was simply not enough for two in the long run.

,,Hoseok Oh my god! I told you to get the black shoes, not the brown ones! How can you be so stupid?!" A female voice yelled from the living room. Hoseok was standing in the kitchen of his small Apartment, packing out the Food he bought from the market. His ,group' had not yet moved into its own dorm. They were 3 member, he was told it would be a rapper hip hop group, only he, his Hyung Suga and Rap Monster.
,,Sorry babe, the black ones were too expensive!" He said, hoping that she wouldn't freak out. ,,Hoseok, go and buy the Black ones! I don't care what you say! I thought you love me?"
Situations like that came more often, until Hoseok felt like he never did anything right.

He was always there for his Hyung Suga and saw how he struggled, he always smiled for him and laughed. But it was never enough.. one time Yoongi had almost killed himself.. he went through a hard time..

Rap Monster was always stressed with producing and dance practice. He wasn't really good at hip hop dance, but I tried my best to teach him. But it wasn't enough, One time Namjoon fainted in the studio because of stress.. I had overworked him..

I wasn't really good at producing in the beginning. Suga and Rapmon tried their best to teach me the basics. But I wasn't good enough.. I wasn't even able to produce a proper song on my own..

...

,,Can't you just focus?! It's not that hard Hoseok!" Yoongi yelled, as I was trying to make a beat which sounded a bit off. ,,Sorry Hyung.. I'm trying!" I tried to focus, but it was harder than it had looked, when Yoongi had done it. ,,Hoseok.. I know you're trying, but how will we be able debut when we can't produce?!"
I lowered my head and looked onto my lab. ,,I'm so sorry Hyung."