The ashes we left behind

Chapter 13

The next day, I try to convince the gang to let me go to the bookshop. But Jayden comes with me for my safety. I don't complain. At least I would be able to visit the place.

In the car, nobody says a word. I don't really care. In the contrary, I would rather say nothing than talk about anything. Instead, I look at him. He doesn't seem like excited to go to a bookshop. Indeed, I know how annoyed he is by Connor's order. The latter ordered Jayden to drive me to the bookshop. They think that I want to buy some books so I could be less bored while they try to find answers from Asher.

Jayden stays outside as I enter the bookshop. They're a many people but nobody notices me. I first visit the place before borrowing the corridor only allowed to the personal. Nobody is there so I continue to walk. I open different doors where books are settled until I arrive to the last one.

The moment I open the door; I find a woman putting a huge box on another. She jumps at my presence. And without checking who I am, she rushes to me and pushes me away.

"You're not allowed here", she says violently and anxiously before slamming the door at my face.

Well... I think that I've just found something interesting. I'm already making tonight's plans. And I have to get ready for that. It all starts here.

I hurry to the restrooms and lock myself in a cabin. I climb on the toilet bowl in order to open the window. I think it's big enough for me to pass by. I hope nobody would notice.

I get out of the bookshop without a book in my hand which Jayden notices. He asks about it.

"I found nothing... interesting", I lie.

He nods but doesn't seem convinced.

                                                                                                ***

After lunch, I pretend to be too tired to stay with them. So I go to my sister's old room and decide to take a shower. I really need it and it feels so good. I take my time since I have five hours to kill before going back to the library.

I find clothes in the drawers. Those are my sister's. I choose a simple black tank top with black jeans and a jacket that has the same color. The smell of it reminds me of Hailey. How is she doing now? All I hope for is that she's still alive.

At 8 p.m., I get up from the bed and get ready. I hide the knife I've stolen from the kitchen in the boots I'm wearing. I put up my hair into a ponytail and I open the glass door that gives to the balcony. I first look at the view, breathing. I try to slow the beatings of my heart and to stop my hands from shaking. It's starting to rain and feeling the drops of water on my body relaxes me.

Every time I feel like giving up, I remind myself of Hailey. She would have died and killed for me. So must I.

I climb over the railing in order to borrow the stairs. I turn around just to look one more time at the city. I have to do it. I have to know what Asher's plans are.

I turn back to the stairs and then...

"Mackenzie?" I hear Connor's voice cry from the bedroom. He gets to the balcony and looks at me, confused.