The ashes we left behind

Chapter 23

Asher stops the car between two trees in the middle of a forest I've never put a foot into. We leave the car there and walk until we reach a lake.

"I need a shower", he says.

He takes off his shoes, his jeans and his shirt. I can't help but stare at his muscled back. There's only one tattoo in the bottom. It's a sentence. Maybe a quote. I can't read it because of the darkness.

Asher jumps in the lake without a look back. I don't know how he's not screaming because of the coldness of the water. Maybe he's used to it. I'm the whole opposite. I'm not used to swim in cold water. I'm not used to fight like that. I'm not used to see people getting killed. I'm not used to be everyone's enemy including Asher. I shouldn't stay with him then. He can kill me whenever he wants.

I watch him swim. He doesn't care if I'm staying or not. It's the best moment for me to leave. I can take the car and drive until I arrive to the other side of the country.

I walk to the car's direction, planning what I have to do. I will have to hide and seek for Hailey in the same time. I know I can do it. I love her too much to give up.

The moment I put my hand on the car, someone grabs my elbow.

"What the hell are you doing?" Asher asks. I face him. He's all wet. Drops of water fall from his hair. Concerning his eyes, they're burning... as always.

"Fuck off", I reply.

"Don't you talk to me like that."

In my whole life, I've never been that mad at someone. I've never raised my voice to anyone even when people were mean to me. Now, all I want to cry is, 'enough'.

"I talk to you the way I want."

He tightens his grip. I try to push him away.

"I told you to let me go!" I shout.

I put a hand on his bare chest and push hard? Instead of him moving back, I'm the one who retreat.  I bump my back into the car's door which amplifies the pain in my hip. I moan. Asher doesn't seem to care.

"Look at what you did!" I cry.

"Your fault", is all he says.

I grit my teeth. "I hate you."

He removes his hand from my elbow. "I hate you too, Miller."

"Don't call me like that!"

I run into him which makes us fall on the ground, my body on his. I put myself astride of him to beat him.

"You don't like Kenzie neither Kenny. So let me at least call you by your family name."

He grabs my fist, the one that is supposed to lean on his demoniac face. Then, he pushes me aside. I land on the ground, my hip getting more and more hurt. I expect him to kill me so he can finally get rid of me.

Instead, he gets up and runs to the car. He starts to hit the window that is already broken. He repeats his act a dozen times. I can't help but join him. I catch his hand before it again hits the window. His fist is bleeding.

"Get your hand off mine or else-

"Or else what?!"

He doesn't even look at me. His eyes are on the car.

I wait for his answer. Nothing comes from between his lips except his breath. His chest lifts up and down.

He's trying to calm down...

"You want to know the truth?" he finally asks, his deep voice as calm as the night around us.

"What truth?"

"About Hailey."

I feel like everyone can hear the beats of my heart. He knows something about Hailey. Something that I don't.

"What do you know about her?" I ask carefully as if he could change his mind and decide to say nothing.

"You should stay with me."

"What do you know about Hailey?" I repeat.

He lifts his head to the sky. "She told me to watch over you no matter what happens."

"So you know where she is."

"No. She told it to me before disappearing. I was working with her."

"How... How could you work together when you don't like each other? What about the gang? They're supposed to know..."

"They don't. Hailey kept it secret. Connor and his pets know nothing."

"They're not-

I stop from defending them. The guys literally rejected me. They consider me as their enemy.   

"I... I..." I mumble. "Leave me alone."

I walk to the other side. I can't trust him. I have to find Hailey by myself.

"I need you to find her!" he shouts but doesn't follow me.

How dare Hailey to ask him to watch over me?! She really thinks that I'm weak. She's wrong. So wrong. After everything I've been through those last days, I'm not weak. I'm strong enough to continue by myself.

I ignore Asher calling me. I wonder why he's not following me. Maybe he's giving me the choice, something I haven't had the right to my whole life. Or perhaps he knows that I will come back. Because it's probably what is going to happen. I have nowhere to go.

I don't want to think about it. I don't want to come back. I accelerate the pace and look behind in case he follows me. I can see him watching me.

The moment I turn my head to see what faces me, my forehead hits a branch so hard that I fall back.

"Told you!" I hear Asher shout. "You need me."

A few second later, he's standing next to me. He holds out his hand so I can get up. We look at each other's eyes.

"Just like I do."

I keep staring at him when I get up, without the help of his hand so he can understand that I don't depend on him.

When I face him, I order, "Tell me everything."