PHOENIX - The Rebirth Of Hope

Chapter 14 : Years Later

Samarth was sitting with his head in his hands, trying not to look defeated.

They were having the same conversation all over again. A grim silence had settled over the table. They were on Nana Ji's porch, settled around the table. Samarth peeked from between the gap in his hands. His mother who was sitting opposite him, a little on the left, looked as if trying desperately to resist the urge to cry. His father who was sitting beside her looked as if he had been dealt a hard blow. He rubbed his jaw while his fists were clenched angrily. Fine lines appeared on both of their foreheads and hands and their eyes had lost most of their shine as if promising no hope for the future.

Samarth turned his head to the side, as he felt tears prick his eyes. Nana Ji sat some feet away, rocking back and forth in his chair, seeming lost in thought.

A moment later Samarth felt a horrible thud as his father's fist flew down vigorously on the table. The blow was so hard that cracks appeared. Samarth gasped, shocked, and jerked back. His father's façade had broken at last, spilling the anger out. All the anger that had been stored there for days as they all sat at the table trying to figure out what action to take next.

His father's hard sobs cracked the silence. The first time Samarth had seen his father come close to crying.

"...gave everything.", He muttered and then leaned back again, his mother and father holding each other.

Samarth's lower lip wobbled. They were talking about him, of course, they were. Talking about what a disappointment he had been and they were not wrong.

Samarth had gotten out of college this year. Four years back, he had passed 12th standard. Those days were literally hell. There was so much pressure and the biggest problem was: Samarth wasn't doing well in his studies.

To his luck, he had passed the examination.....but with barely enough marks. 5% more than the cut-off and that were Samarth's marks. There were mixed emotions. Surprise, relief, disappointment all reigned in their hearts at that moment. Relief came from his parents. But disappointment soon clouded over. They didn't say anything though but he knew. They expected him to do more. Surprised and deeply hurt, was Samarth when he recognized that Nana Ji hid the same sentiment.

He might have failed them but there was still time.

Was there?

Then that year the worst thing happened. A foul breath of the fates and it was like somehow everything was over. There was an excessive amount of rain. As they reached October, it started raining cats and dogs. The crops were flooded. They lost their hard-grown crop. They started running low on ration and resources. Money was hard to come by. He had never seen his father so down. Somehow they survived that year.

Samarth's family barely managed to get him into a low-ranking college.

Samarth had passed out from college a few days back. There was only one problem.

He had no degree.

And no money to get one. All their lives they had worked hard for one thing and now god had decided to reward their desperate wishes with so much despair and darkness that it was going to drown Samarth.

This year hadn't seemed to go much better. They did not have much money. Nana Ji was too old and doddery to help on the farm. They couldn't afford any labor even with the money they had brought together.

But they had not hoped that Samarth would become a farmer as soon as he grew up but something entirely different and far above that position. They had lived for it. They had wanted to get out of poverty. To once be able to have a happy life and have the same opportunities to enjoy as the others. For once to live life to its fullest, to lose yourself in the same luxury the rich people can have. They had only wanted one thing. Tried all their lives for it. But Samarth had failed them. Samarth had even given some exams but hadn't been able to pass a signal one. They were out of money for a month. The whole family was begging on the road. Now, they couldn't do anything about it anymore. Their hopes had died and the promise of a happy future with it. Forever squashed down, buried in the darkness, never to see light again. His heart had broken into fragments.

"W-what...next?", Samarth's mother sobbed and it felt like someone was smashing the broken pieces of his heart.

"Samarth", Nana Ji said and Samarth looked at him.

"Y-yes?"

"We can keep up with farming a little longer. Me and your father. I think it is better, if—"

"If what?" Samarth's father demanded.

"He must go to the city and find work there.", Nana Ji withdrew his eyes and Samarth felt that this someone was now openly stomping on the smashed bits of his heart with his foot.

There was a pregnant silence. Samarth's mother was first to break it, controlling her crying at last.

"I will go and pack some bags." She said quietly in the silence and got up. She never looked at her son as she left.

Samarth sniffled. His father nodded, "I think that would be for the best."

He got up and he too avoided meeting Samarth's eyes.

Nana Ji finally looked at Samarth and his stiff and shocked posture.

Samarth felt that Nana Ji was quietly asking his opinion. But he knew even if he refrained from going, the final voice would never be his. That was the last resort, Samarth decided. He felt someone collecting the broken pieces of his heart and throwing them into the dustbin.

He was dead from inside.

"Fine.", He said making it as short and curt as he could.

"Day after tomorrow then.", Nana Ji said, looking away quickly.

The one and only person, Samarth had trusted and put his faith in was now looking away from him as if he couldn't bear to look at him and be reminded of what a disappointment he was. He had been deserted by his own family.

Samarth stood up too and left. He didn't look back.