Hurt and Ruined - Healed and Loved

Forgiveness is Not Trust

Cardan and I were eating dinner with Taryn and all I want is for it to be over. The awkward silence, the fake smiles. The polite talk.

Finally, Taryn set her fork down and looked at me. "Is it always going to be like this?"

"What?" I ask, confused.

Taryn gestured between us. "You said you forgave me."

"And I do forgive you, Taryn," I said, understanding that this was about her betrayals.

"Then why can't it be like before?"

I sighed, looking at Cardan for help. He merely shrugged. I scowled at him and said to Taryn, "Just because I forgive doesn't mean I trust you,"

I hesitate but continue. "This has nothing to do with Locke if that's what you're thinking. I couldn't care less about that idiot... Uhm no offense." I added quickly. "But in choosing him over me, you also showed that you loved him more than me. And don't even get me started with Daddy Dearest."

Taryn sighed. "I know what I did was wrong, but you know I won't do something like that again." Her eyes were pleading with me to understand, but I just shook my head.

"And that's the thing. I do know, but that doesn't— I won't... I won't be able to trust you. Because first of all, you can lie. Second, you did this with Locke. I forgave you then and I trusted you. But you just had to break that by going with Madoc."

"And how is you being with Cardan any different?" Taryn's instantly on the defensive.

I frowned. "How is it the same?"

She laughed incredulously. "Do you really not remember what he did when we were in school? You hated him, and so did I."

I looked at Cardan again who sighed and said. "Look, I've already told you that I am sincerely very sorry. I also bet that you have done things that you aren't proud of when you were in school. Like going with Locke, for instance."

"Besides, that's not the same thing. Locke dated both of us at the same time and you knew. You knew and you kept it a secret. It's not about Locke. It's about you. You knew and you refused to tell me, breaking my trust in the process."

"How is Cardan any different? He—"

"Why do you always come back to Cardan?" I ask, my patience wearing thin.

"He exiled you," Taryn said. "And you forgave him."

"I frowned. "That's different. Cardan actually had a reason to exile me. Besides, it was my own fault for not recognizing what he truly meant. And also, I never really trusted him before the exile. I loved him, yes, but I never trusted him, so he never broke any trust between us."

Taryn scowled. "You know what? I'm done. I am going back Your Majesties."

With that, she threw down her fork and stomped off to her own rooms. Cardan and I glanced at each other.

"I did not see that coming," I said blinking a little.

Cardan chuckled. "She's rather good at handing out blame, isn't she? I mean, everything she said was true, but she refuses to see that she's at fault too."

I shrug. "That's Taryn."