You In My Heart

For My Love : Lying Under The Stars

"That looks like a rabbit."

"That one?"

"No, to your left."

"It looks like Lisa's forehead."

"Just because something's bright and shiny, doesn't make it Lisa's forehead, Chu."

Jisoo liked watching the clouds. Jennie liked watching Jisoo.

So here they were after their picnic, laying down beside each other, watching the sky darken.

It had been about an hour when Jisoo noticed that it was basically night.

"I didn't realize how much darker it had gotten outside."

She attempted to get up to look around but couldn't due to the weight of Jennie's head laying on her arm.

"You promised we could stay until the stars come out, Chu!"

Jisoo smiled as she went back down and folded her arm to pull Jennie closer.

"I was just looking around, Mandu." Jisoo gave her girlfriend a chaste kiss before leaning back to take in the view of Jennie in front of her.

She loved this girl beyond measure and she still can't believe she was moved back.

"Stop staring at me and start staring at the sky." Jennie pushed Jisoo's head up towards the now dark sky, mostly to hide her blush.

"Are you sure you want me?"

Jisoo's words caught Jennie off guard. She quickly whipped her head to see her girlfriend give her an uncomfortable smile.

"Chu?"

Jennie knew their relationship had issues. And all of them from Jennie's side.

Starting right at home from Jennie's mom to her overconfident ex-fiancé/coworker.

Her girlfriend had taken insults that would've kept Jennie up for years if it was thrown at her.

Jennie was surprised Jisoo even stayed with her. At the end of the day, the girl didn't have to deal with all of this just for Jennie.

But she was glad because she didn't think she could see a future without Jisoo.

"I'm not sure I want to see you anymore. You should be with someone else right now." Jisoo winced and turned towards the stars "...maybe someone like Kai."

"Is this why you brought me here, Chu?" Jennie pulled herself up to sit. She couldn't believe the absurdity of her words. "To break up with me?"

"Jen, it's not like that..." Jisoo whispered.

"Then what is it like, huh?" Jennie could feel her throat hurt. "Did you plan this date so you could finally get rid of me?"

Jisoo quickly pulled Jennie back into her embrace, wiping away her tears as she kissed her.

She tried to talk to her so she could understand but Jennie refused to listen and walked away from her.

Heartbroken, she forced herself to focus on the stars.

------

Jisoo sat on her couch as she told Lisa and Chaeyoung what happened.

It has been a few days and Jennie hasn't contacted her and she would like to keep it that way.

"She hasn't called you in almost a week, unnie! Do you not regret it at all?" Chaeyoung asked.

She doesn't regret what she did. Jennie definitely deserves a better life. One she can not give her.

"You know how much she likes you. Was it her mom again? Did she scare you? I can fight her for you!" Jisoo smiled at Lisa's attempt to escalate the mood.

"I'm not scared of her mom Lisa...I'm scared of me...."

Jisoo heard enough of Jennie's mom's words to even memorize half of her phrases.

"Do you really think you're on the same level as Jennie?"

"I can buy your whole existence."

"You can't even afford to stand before her."

"All you have going for you is that face."

"Can you even afford her favourite....blah blah blah...."

Jisoo wasn't scared of fighting back, but she was scared it would come at the price of never seeing Jennie again.

That's why Jisoo decided to privately talk to her. It cleared up her issue only to bring out another.

"You thought I would send Jennie away?"

Miss Kim mockingly laughed right in Jisoo's face, making her ears turn red from embarrassment.

"Jennie's stubborn and too smart for me to even try that. I could easily have killed you than do that."

Jisoo gulped at the seriousness of her words.

"Tell me, Jisoo, if I approve of you and Jennie, do you think you could keep her happy?" She smirked.

"Of course! I can promise she will be happy with me." Jisoo smiled, sure of her love for Jennie.

"For how long?" The older woman set down her coffee on the table. "A few more weeks? Months? Maybe even a year?"

Jisoo felt her hopes of convincing Miss Kim go down.

"Jennie was always pampered as a child. And I made sure it stayed that way. I'm not being materialistic but you can not afford even 10% of Jennie's lifestyle."

She paused to look Jisoo up and down before sighing.

"Do you think Jennie would stay with someone that can't even buy her a Chanel purse? You can barely afford to keep yourself alive, what made you think you can support Jennie?"

Jisoo couldn't defend herself as she heard the older woman go on about how she would not be able to support Jennie. She was right but it still hurt to hear.

A million thoughts were rushing in Jisoo's mind.

What if Jennie realized Jisoo wasn't worth it?

What if she leaves after she sees Jisoo can't give her anything she wants?

....What if Jennie falls out of love?

Seeing Jisoo's state, and knowing she had broken her, the older woman stood up and got ready to pay the bill.

"I'll pay. Not sure if the tab is in your budget. She smirked at how Jisoo locked her jaw in anger. "I hope I won't see you around Jennie anymore."

All Jisoo could do was watch her walk away as her throat tightened up.

At the end of the day, words still hurt.

"Why would I stay with her if I can't keep her happy, Lisa?"

"Jennie unnie wouldn't- she's not like that- She likes you for-" Lisa didn't know how to comfort Jisoo.

"Exactly." Jisoo stood up "I'm not mad at her mom, she was right. I'm only angry at myself for hurting Jennie but I know she'll be okay. Kai will take care of her, I'm just a passing memory."

The girls watched as she gave them a painful smile and locked herself into her room.

----

Coming up with a chapter name is harder than writing it.