My Crush's Bestfriend

》Chapter Twenty-One《

"You look so broken when you cry. One more and then I'll say goodbye." -Glass Animals

-UNEDITED-

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As I raise my hand to knock on the door, my courage suddenly left me. 

His car wasn't in the driveway but he should be back from school by now. His parents should still be at work. It would just be the two of us. Alone. 

I stood there deliberating for what felt like hours but must have only been a few minutes when the door swung open to reveal an angry Alex. 

He held his phone to his ear, his grip on it so tight that his knuckles were turning white. I could hear a familiar voice faintly on the other line- Jordan. I watch as Alex locks the door, placing the key under a garden gnome that was sitting in a potted plant. 

His furrowed brows deepened with confusion when he notices me. He doesn't hesitate when he hangs up the phone and reopens the door, ushering me in. 

Too late to turn back now. It was now or never. 

I stepped into the doorway nervously as he follows. 

Closing the door behind him, he turns to me and is about to speak when I interrupt, "We need to talk" I said seriously as I tried to conceal my nerves. 

He looks surprised and slightly panicked at my words but he quickly composes himself, leading me to the living room. 

I sit on the leather couch which is a lot more comfortable than it looks. I let out a little yelp as it swallowed me. I didn't expect it to be so soft. Alex looks away trying to hide his smile. 

I cleared my throat, feeling heat rush to my cheek in embarrassment as I readjust myself. Alex takes his place next to me. Close to me. Too close. I try to put some distance between us without being too obvious but he notices and awkwardly moves to the other end of the couch. I immediately feel bad but the much-needed space helps clear my head as I try to gather my thoughts. 

"I want to apologize for that day at the beach." I started but he cut me off before I could say anything more. 

"You don't need to apologize. I should be apologizing, I was out of line. You're with Jordan. I need to accept that. I'm sorry." His voice was almost a whisper as he said those words, looking in every direction but mine. If I'm not mistaken, his ears were turning pink. Whether it was from embarrassment or anger, that I could not tell. 

His face gave nothing away. They were as void as ever which made my next words harder to say. "I don't want you to," was all I managed to cough up. 

His head snaps to mine, his confusion was clear as he waited for me to elaborate. When I didn't he inquired, "Don't want me to what?" 

I feel the heat rushing to my cheeks as I keep my eyes trained on the carpeted floor beneath my feet. This was harder than I thought it would be. 

Maybe I made a mistake. 

Maybe he doesn't feel the same way I do. 

Could I have been reading too much into his actions? His words?

Only one way to find out. 

"I don't want you to apologize and I don't want you to accept that I'm with Jordan because I don't want to be with Jordan. I want to be with you. I want you Alex. It was stupid of me to even agree to date Jordan in the first place. I've always wanted you, not him. It's always been you." The words rush out of me so fast I wasn't sure he understood or heard anything I said.