Elements #Wattys2015

Chapter ThritySeven

I couldn't go to sleep all night. I looked out the window. I threw more petals from the trash. I played with my feet. I cried more. Laughed more. I've gone insane.

I've become a monster with in me. I don't feel guilty. I'm just uncontrollable. I can't think. I can never think. Because I'm afraid... I'm afraid of love.

Today is the last day in the ordinary world. Yes Ronan seemed familiar and I wanted to know him more as much as I tried not to he seemed like I knew him. And Amanda... She kept giving me weird looks when ever I see her. She always directs Ronan to the side I'm not on. It weird how she knew my full name. Yet I still don't know her last name. The door swings open when I find Cindy running in. I pretend I'm asleep not wanting to talk to any one.

***
"Come on we have to go." Cindy says throwing the rest of my clothes in the luggage. She leaves me a pair of jeans and a blue sweater out to wear. "We still have today." I mumble remembering that we don't have to leave yet. The one thing I will probably miss I this vacation is the beds. So fluffy and comfortable. My face randomly blushes when I remember that I'll also miss one more thing:

The times I've spent with Asher and the lessons.

I seem to regret the fact that I won't be able to come today at night for the lesson when I'm suppose to be "hanging out." When reality I have no shit to do. I don't understand why I said it. Possible because I saw his stains and his wide grin when he was walking towards me. I don't seem to understand him. They say girls are difficult and confusing when all we think about is common sense.

I don't think we have mutual feelings. But right now I'm going to learn how to despise him again. Never smile at him and keep a strait face. Even if he tries to dazzle me with one of his many smirks. Or one of his many postures he uses. Or one of his many voices he could possibly use against me. What about the times when he would randomly pop up. When I wasn't at parties he knew where I was. Always deciding to pop up.

I like the Sky. Always full of surprises. Beauty. Intelligence. Sometimes, I always catch it smiling. Laughing. And it's stars, laugh as well. With beauty that fills the world. He once told me. Which I still do not understand why it made me seem so awkward.

"Yeah but we won't come back once it reaches 5 pm where driving back. It was five hours when we came here from Elements." Cindy says.

"That's because we got lost." I mumble.

"Get up!" She squeals.

I groan as i throw myself off the bed and drag myself into the shower. After I put o the clothes Cindy left for me and dragged my luggage to the car waiting infront of the door. "I hoped you enjoyed. Come back again!" Mr. Gravel says as we leave. Yeah right. Damon comes over and takes my back putting it in the back. "Wheres Cindy?" he asks looking behind me. Of course, we brought cindy along we also had to take her. "Shes trying to close her luggage." i mumble as I enter the drivers seat. "Ill help." Cameron says jumping out of the car and running back inside. "Make sure you only help witht he luggage Skylar and I arnt waiting all day for your sex to end!" Damon yells as Cameron enters the hotle. Although not before he gives Damon a glare. Casullay I lay back looking at the mirror. I seem to have dark circles around my eyes which do not seem attractive. Although I leave them not like I will be seeing anyone. Damon moans in the back seat while Cameron takes for ever. "Ugh lets hope he uses protection." Damon mumbles in the back seat. I dont know if he was taling to me or himself.

"Gross Damon. I think there only pretending to be this late." Although that made no sense of course. "Yeah. Hopefully they only pretend to forget the protection."

I look back at him as a grin crosses his face giving me a glare. Gross, I mouth to him before I turn back hearing my name being called. I walk out of the car still not knowing who it was and my stomach turns sick thinking that i made a bad move of walking out of the car. "Sky!" the voice calls behind me. Sky is the name Asher calls me but the voice doesnt seem like Ashers. I look back to find Ronan jogging over hear in his bathing suit. Hes all wet which meant that he just got out of the pool. "Hi." is all I can think of. Im not going to say his name for it would look like some kind of love story. That would seem awkward. "Your leaving?" he asks as the wqater dripps down from his face. I nod, "I can only stay for seven days. Sorry we didnt spend much time together." Im not sorry really, "I guess I did not use my days correctly. I mostly just layed back." That was true. I really did not. When I came here I was excited that I could finally go out and do something since it had been eleven months inside Elements. I was also worried and I could feel myself trembling when I drove out of Elements thinking that I could possibly bump into Eros. Someone who I still believe to be dead. "Youll come back right?" I was going to say no when I realized that it could possibly be a maybe I mean it happens every year. "Maybe." I whisper. i never realized he was closer to me until I felt his breathing on me.

"I missed you." he quietly whispers. So quiet I think I heard him wrong. I only knew him for a day maybe. We never really talked. But Asher said that Ronan did know things about me. So was he stalking me before and then all of the suddden when I disappeared from the face of earth he missed me. It not everyday a stranger confesses that they miss you. I probably look like someone who was close to him and he probably thinks thats her. I stay quiet as if I never heard him.

"Yeah so-" I am cut off with his lips smashing into mine and his arms wrapping around me. I am shocked and a little bit scarred. I pull back to look at his features. Maybe he is someone I know. Its just I cant see it. Or I havent seen it for a while that I supposedly forgot it. When he first stepped in I recognized him as someone close but when I got the name Ronan I felt crushed that it wasnt who I expected it to be, Eros. Although I know I have moved on from him to no one, or possible someone that I dont want to admit I like. He leans in one more time to kiss me and to my surprise I let him and kiss him back, because he felt familiar and comforting. Not what strangers feel like. He maybe Ronan but I also think hes someone else. Someone I want to know, but I dont have the time to. Maybe, next year if its possible. I pull back realizing that I kissed a stranger and inside I feel angry at myself. A stranger Skylar. But Asher is a Stranger as well. He is a confusing one that I have tried to ignore for eleven months but it never seemed to work. "I-I have to go." I say. I'm praying panic doesn't cover my eyes. No one say that?

But I doubt it. Asher was exiting building and Damon was in the car staring at me confused with a hint of anger. Before Ronan can speak again I run towards the car and turned on the engine moving the car away pretending that I'm leaving. Although an idiot like me would know I would have to come back and get Cameron and Cindy in a few minuets. "Who the hell was he?"

"I don't know." I quickly say trying to breathe normally. My heart races. What was I thinking going around kissing someone I knew for only a day. Weirdest part is, the person I didn't want to get caught kissing was watching me kiss someone that wasn't him. I find myself mad that it wasn't Asher. Yet I find my self happy that Asher saw me. A little lesson to tell him that he's not going to play with my heart, like he walkways does. Sadly. Yet I feel horrid for Ronan. And Amanda for some reason. She's the one who actually... Wanted him. Where as I, did know even know him. And what sucks the most is that I used him that moment. When I saw Asher... I used Ronan to get on his nerve. But a hint told me I don't think Asher was bothered. Only I was. "You don't know! Oh god. You need god." Damon freaks. "Some holy water. Maybe get a book. You kissed a stranger."

"no I didn't." I mumble.

"What about those notes who sent them? Was it your stranger!" Damon freaks.

"No!" I say. Then I pause. I don't know who sent them it could possibly be him. I mean the I got it when Ronan lost against Asher... A note saying Maybe next time. With some flowers the other time. A note that said I finally found you. I come to believe it is Ronan. But my instincts tell me it's not Ronan. I follow my instinct instead. An idiot like me would possibly do that.

"Your confusing. When you go to hell I'm going to drink my wine in your face." Damon mumbles.

"Go to hell." I mumble under my breath not wanting to talk.

"Actually-"

"Shut up!" I continue driving in circles to cool of but Damon starts whispering to himself and taps his foot. Then looks out the window. Closes the window then opens the window and repeats. "Are we going back?" I completely forgot about Cameron and Cindy. I nod still not going to talk.

Cindy pulls up her heavy bag that looks like it contains a bomb in it. Possibly exploding in the clothing. And Cameron with a glum look. "What happen?" I ask Cameron who sits next to me. "Just drive." He whispers as Damon and Cindy enter the car. I do as he says leading the group back to Element.

This week was surprising. I found a dictionary that wasn't band. Yet, it was band from the elements. I learned how to play pool, with the help of Asher. I relaxed... A lot. Possibly grew feelings but I'm learning how to tame them. Better yet, loose them.

Cameron slowly drifts off next to me and it makes me tired. The car is quiet no ones talking. Unlike the beginning where we sounded like a zoo. This time... You can only hear the leveled breathing.and the hatred spreading through the car. No one shares mutual feelings anymore.

We are all being played around and that...

Sucks.