Elements #Wattys2015

Chapter Fifty

"Life is like an ocean. It can be calm or still, and rough or rigid, but in the end, it's always beautiful."

***

Many people hate silence. I love it. I love to only hear the breathing of you and the other person. Many people love to break the silence. They scream or stomp their feet and when you ask them why they say, It got too quiet. I hate it. Have you ever heard of someone saying silence is golden? There is a reason for them to state it. Because it is true. It is hard to find silence and when you are in it, you only think. Think in the silence and you never realize it. Quiet and silence are two completely different things. You do not say he spoke silently. It does not make sense. Instead, you say, he spoke quietly. Silence is no noise at all. Quiet is very little noise. The noise that could barely be heard. When you whisper you whisper quietly. Not silently.

Silence is soothing... so is being quiet. But sometimes quiet isn't what you're looking for. A quiet scream is never soothing. Neither is silence. When you are silent with someone you love or hate it is impossible to know that their thinking because of their silence... for Asher it is different. His silence is loud. While mine, as a thinker, is busy. He sleeps soundly. His face looks so peaceful. It is weird how when everyone sleeps they have a peaceful look. Even the toughest and deadliest man alive looks peaceful while sleeping. Cereal Killers looks peaceful while sleeping... even if they sleep between dead bodies and a knife in hand. . . It would be creepy...

I gazed at Asher as he sleeps. His hair fell across his face and without hesitation I carefully remove that strand. Revealing his sharp, beautiful face. Why haven't I noticed him before? I ask myself, but I know the answer. I refused to notice him because if I did I would love him. He looks kinder in his sleep. He looks like he would care about things, almost like a child. I begin to wonder if I should have never blocked myself from him. If my assumptions of him being horrible was all wrong. But then again he leaves when I need him the most. People do not change, do they? Asher's body rises as he inhales. The way his body curled up and hugged his pillow. His arm drops over me and I fear if I touch it I will wake him. He was so different what I was used to it fascinated me. I inspected every inch of his body, taking in all his beauty, he was so different, it amazed me.

He smirks before his eyes flicker open. I mentally smack myself for thinking about him. Immediately I close my eyes hoping he would think I am asleep. But I know he is not a fool. Instead, he kisses my eyelids and bids me good morning. I smile and return the favor. "I have to brush my teeth." Thinking about how horrifying my mouths aroma is. He does not say anything neither does he let go of me. Instead, he wraps me close to him and whispers in my ear, "Don't leave me,"

I roll my eyes and remove his arms away from me. He doesn't say anything so I grab my clothing and head off to the bathroom. I am taking a shower. I feel so hot and icky and I hate that morning feeling. I run the cold water and strip off my remaining clothing. The image of yesterday runs through my head and I begin to blush. Now, I try my best to forget it. Before I enter the shower I check if the door is locked. My biggest fear is Asher walking in on me.

The cold water runs down my back. I fill my mouth with the water and quickly spit it out when I begin to choke on it. But then I repeat the gesture. The water felt soft against my skin and my hair forming and curling under the soft touch. The brown color of my hair becomes darker by the water. Cherry blossom... Asher smelt on me. It's weird because I don't apply the soap anymore. Yet the smell is still on me. Now, I wish that I had Cherry blossom with me. I grab the nearest towel by me and places it around my body. The aroma of burnt wood was on the towel and now I don't want to take it off. But I find myself putting on today's clothing.

I groan as I realize that today we have meditation again. We must attend to it now every morning and afternoon. Since we do not take any more classes due to the situation this area is in. I feel worn out and I promise myself after meditation I will head to the library and receive some new books. I have not been there for a while and I haven't touched a book in what feels like millennium.