Milieu Euphony (In Act Series #2)

Phase 5

PHASE FIVE

THE STATUE WHO BREATHES

I had never felt isolated in my whole life.

The Suite le Passion caused it.

I hated staying here, but I preferred being here rather than staying at home. Because the former was better, and the latter was the last option. A journey would end at the last option that's why I had been trying my best not to go home as intended.

Why did I even bother going home anyway? Para saan—para ipamukha sa sarili ko na hinding-hindi nila tatanggapin ang disiplinang pinili ko ngayon?

Bakit? Dahil gusto nilang sila lang ang magdidikta no'n? Sila lang ang gagawa ng landas na matagal ko nang ginagawa para sa sarili? Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit gusto nilang sila ang magpagalaw ng paa ko upang maglakad.

Wala akong kadena sa leeg. Wala ring kulyar na nagdidikta kung kanino ako nagmamay-ari.

Walang mataas na tao na nagpagagalaw sa 'kin. Wala ring amo na sinusunod.

Walang nakalagay sa leeg ko.

Tapos.

Ngunit kung makaakto sila ay kinakadena ako.

Bakit? Dahil hindi ko sinusunod ang gusto nila?

They would be fool into thinking that I followed what they wanted because I wanted validation.

They were wrong.

I had been following what they wanted under my naïve desire for guidance. That's all a child ever wanted—guidance and material things—accessories that made them feel that they were in the right direction.

I do not bother myself whether they wanted to praise me or not—whether I was considered a prodigy or not. All that ever guided me weren't words—they were prizes, materialistic things.

If I did the right thing, I would receive what I wanted. It was a system of rewards and I treated it as guidance. Why won't I if it's the only thing that made me feel guided?

So, why do they go around acting as if I was pursuing sculpting for the sake of validation? Kung iyon ang pinupunto ko, hindi ko na sana sinunod pa 'to dahil alam ko ang nangyari kay Ophelia. Ibang disiplina sana ang kinuha ko dahil alam ko kung ano ang patutunguhan nito.

I am deaf, but I was not numb.

I squinted my eyes when a group of students entered the area. I followed where they were headed until my eyes saw Lavien sitting at a luxurious white cushion chair.

She was busy drawing croquis on her sketchbook. The unfamiliarity strengthened and proved that she was out of her chosen discipline anymore.

She bid goodbye in hopes of never looking back.

Hopes.

I looked away when I felt a pain in my chest.

I gripped my bag tightly, sighed, and looked at the high ceiling that had a Renaissance painting. I felt frustrated when my stare shifted to the white crystal lights.

The French-inspired interior didn't seep into me. Nahihirapan na akong maki-isa sa pakiramdam na ibinibigay nila. Parang may nakaharang na babasaging pinto—hindi mapapansin hanggang sa makarating sa harapan nito.

Erasing the path before it could be treaded.

Of course, the Suite le Passion was a recreational hall dedicated to students who wanted to do whatever they wanted to do. It was a nice place to spark inspiration and a perfect place for the people who were guided with their passion.