Saying Goodbye

Goodbye My Ex Lover

***This is how my last breakup went...
Yes this is all true, don't judge!
Wrote this the day we broke up.
I guess I would say this is the perfect goodbye.
It gets better towards the end I promise!
Love you guys!***
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Goodbye My Ex Lover

My safe place is gone

No more hands to hold
Hair to run my fingers through
Face to touch
Voice to listen to
Smile to see
Laugh to hear
Lips to kiss
Body to hug
Love to keep in my heart

No more anything

He's gone

Everyone says it's his loss
But it's mine too

Everyone says you'll find someone else...but the truth is, I don't want to find anyone else

HE is my idea of perfect
HE is the one I want
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Everyone had been telling us since we got together that we were going to break up, or that they didn't like us together.

Thats normal in any relationship but we were both at the point of annoyance.

We were in his room and his mom came in to "talk" to us.

She talked about how he can't handle a lot of problems and basically said that I have too many for him

She told us we lack communication which we both already knew.

She said a lot of stuff but the message was pretty clear. She also wanted us to break up.

After she left we were both quite for a while.
"Wow" I say
"Yeah" he says back
"So what do you think?"
"I don't know"
"Oh...Just thinking?"
"Yeah"
"About?"I say
"A lot of stuff" he says
"Can you tell me?"
"No"
"Oh okay"
A few minutes pass both of us just thinking in silence about all she had said.

"Do I make you happy?" I say to him. He just looks away. A few moments pass and I try again.
"Do you love me?" He turns his head to me and looks into my eyes.

That's when I knew.
I knew we were going to fight or break up.
He looks away.
A few moments pass

"I just don't know how to say this without it coming out wrong." He says
"No just say it, it'll be fine" I say
"Well you know how you like say you love me?" He says
"Yeah, it's because I do."
"Well I've never felt that in any of my relationships and I don't feel it here." That's where my heart shattered into a million pieces. Thats when I started crying.

"So do you think we should break up?"
"I think it would be best"
"Okay" I whisper I close my eyes
Not wanting to cry anymore.

I started to cry harder which caused him to start tearing up as well, but not nearly as much as me.
"Will you hold me in your arms one last time?" I say to him.

"Of course" he says back.

My head was on his chest and his arms tightly around me. As he held me in his arms and I kept shaking.

"I should go" I told him. We kissed and both stood up.
We stood by the side of his bed hugging for a while as we were both crying.

As we were hugging I was start saying to him
"One day you're gonna find someone so much better than me. She's not going to have as many problems as me. She's gonna be perfect for you.... You're gonna be really happy one day. And it really hurts because I know it won't be with me" the whole time he was just hugging me tightly rubbing my back.

After a while we kiss again.

We hugged some more and I say to him again
"If he ever needs someone,I'm always here. And if you're ever missing me, just read the letter I gave you for your birthday." He nods at the words I say and we stand there in silence and I say
"Don't cry over me okay? Because I'm just not worth it." I cry a little bit harder at my own words.