Our Flame

xiv

this chapter contains mentions of sexual assault, addiction and suicide.
you've been warned.

NADIA

"You're so weak." My father's voice echoes in my head. The three words he said before taking his anger out on me.

How much pain and hatred can your fifteen year old inflict on you for you to beat her to the brink of death? For my father apparently a lot.

I look at the two full pill bottles, how much more pain do I have to endure? Or do I end it? For once I have the opportunity to make a choice, live or die.

It isn't the best choice, but it's my choice. The first one in a while.

I wipe my face but the tears continue to stream down my cheeks. I'm not living, I'm merely existing. And it sucks.

I live in a house where I can't voice my opinion without fear of punishment. No one wants a life like this.

No one deserves a life like this.

No one would notice one little death.

I'll be with Mama again and I wouldn't be leaving much behind. I grab the bottles chugging them down till I physically couldn't anymore.

I made a choice.

I slide down the wall as I start to feel the effects of my choice. Banging on the door is the last thing I hear before I'm dragged into the darkness.

**

Today marks two years since I overdosed and one year since I got out of rehab. I should be happy but I'm not, I hate this day.

I had the best night with my family last night but what today represents overpowers that.

Maybe he was right because I've never felt so weak right now.

I hate that I got addicted in the first place, I hate that he sent me there and most of all, I hate that I'm here right now and Vera isn't.

I hate that I turned to drugs just to avoid my feelings.

I look at myself in my bathroom mirror; my hairs a mess, my eyes are red from crying, there are bags underneath my eyes overall I look a mess.

I feel like one too.

Funny how things change, I felt invincible yesterday.

A tear slips from my eyes, "You're so weak." I mumble.
Now I'm talking to myself, great.

I let out a aspirated sigh, tired of looking at myself I punch the mirror sending shards of glass everywhere, one piercing my arm.

I let out a laugh while tears still stream down my face, why didn't I just leave the bathroom.

I don't pull the piece of glass out of my arm, instead I stare at it wondering why I even survived that day and the days after. "Ouch." I step on a piece of glass.

THIRD PERSON

"You heard that too, right?" Viktor asks his brothers. They nod getting up and following him to their sisters room.

"Nadia." Niko yells as they enter her room. "Bathroom." Luka whispers as he sees the door cracked open with shards of glass on the floor.

Although they weren't prepared for what they saw when they entered. The brothers stand still in their place as Nadia sits on the bathroom floor with shards around her.