Our Flame

xxviii

NADIA

"How are you feeling?" Niko asks. Tears come to my eyes as we sit in the car, "Dirty." I honestly answer.

"No one was there, isn't that weird?" I then question, "Something wasn't right." Niko agrees. "I'm so sorry, Nadia." Niko adds.

"It's not your fault, I should've fought harder." I admit. It's true as soon as their hands started to roam around my body, I froze. My mind went blank, I was scared.

For the first time in so long.

I've faced many things- watching my mother die, watching the girl I shortly loved die, being abused by my father, even being blown up. Yet the second I was face to face with those guys I couldn't do anything.

How weak does that make me?

"Nadia." Niko's voice practically drags me from my thoughts. "What now?" He gently asks. I close my eyes, blinking the tears away.

"Let's go home."

**

Somehow my tears continue to fall even when I'm in the place I feel safest. Niko gives me a solemn look as he opens the front door.

My tears aren't sad anymore, but anger. That shouldn't have happened, not to me, not to anyone else.

Maybe I should burn down the school? It was crappy anyway.

Hearing the sound of my brothers laughter flood out of the kitchen brings a small smile to my face. I grab Niko's arm, stopping him from entering the kitchen.

I shake my head as he gives me a confused stare, "They're happy Nik, I'll tell them another time."

"Nadia, you're literally crying and there's a bruise forming on your wrist. They'll know something's wrong." Niko whispers back.

I sigh, silently agreeing with him. The laughter stops when we enter the kitchen. "Let me guess, Niko couldn't handle the school lunch." Luka jokes causing Aleksi to laugh.

I look around the kitchen; Gianna is sitting on the counter facing Aleksi, with a big smile. Viktor is leaning on the wall, Vadim has a book in his hand and Luka is sitting at the table.

They all have a bright smile on their faces. I hate that I'm about to ruin that.

"What's wrong?" Is immediately asked when Niko doesn't laugh. I look down at the ground attempting to hide the tears I'm holding back.

Suddenly my shoes were the most interesting thing in the world, my head stays down even when footsteps approach me.

"Поговори со мной." Luka whispers to me.

translation: talk to me

I look up at my older brother with tears in my eyes, I open my mouth to speak but the words never come. Instead I wrap my arms around Luka, hugging him tighter than I ever have before.

How do I tell the people who care about me the most that I was sexually assaulted, in a place I begged to be in?

In what way is that not my fault?