Our Flame

xxix

NADIA

I thought it would go away over night, it didn't.

It's been one night and a whole day. I haven't eaten, I can barely sleep. Not to mention, I haven't left my room.

I sigh looking at the handprint on my wrist, I should've fought harder. But now I know in person school isn't for me, which is why I've decided to do online.

One unfortunate and ugly disaster won't stop me from graduating and by doing online, I'll be safe.

Although, I should've been safe along.

I want to see my brothers, but I don't want them to see me differently. I can't let them view me as weak.

After a war with myself, I get out of bed throwing on a hoodie. I let out multiple deep breaths as I head downstairs.

The kitchen is silent as I was in, I give a small wave going to get a bottle of water. "Nadia, you need to eat something."

I need to forget the past forty eight hours.

"Train me." I simply state.

"You are trained Nadia." Luka reminds. He's right, I'm probably better than him. I had training directly from our father for the past seven years, they didn't.

I close my eyes trying to think of what I mean, "I just want to be better. Help me be better. I don't want to hesitate." I explain.

I can tell they don't understand, I don't think I do either.

"I don't want to rely on Niko or any one of you, if I'm ever in this situation again." I add. Viktor sighs, "You'll never be in a situation like that again."

"You don't know that, Viktor. That's not something you can promise." I run a hand through my hair. Then I figure out what I need to do.

"I have to burn down that school."

"I am not crazy and I'm definitely not being irrational." I say after a moment. "Try to understand where I'm coming from." I sigh.

"We are." Gianna speaks. "It's just that the fires you cause have a very....detectable burn pattern." Vadim tells me.

I raise my eyebrow at his statement, "That's on purpose Vadim." I reply. "It's a movement pattern, the fire will expand further that way."

I feel like he just called me an amateur, but I'm too upset right now to think about it.

"This is something, I need to do. I need closure or something." I add. "If this doesn't work, you're going to therapy." Aleksi sighs.

I cross my arms, I probably need a therapist either way. "Have any of you ever gone to therapy?"

My question isn't meant to be rude to them, I genuinely want to know. "Yes, all of us, except Niko." Viktor answers.

I nod in response to Viktor, it doesn't surprise me that Niko won't go to therapy. He's stuck in the mindset we were forced to grow up in. 

Doing a quick scan of the room I realize Niko isn't even in here, "Where is he?" I ask. "Upstairs." Vadim replies. I move to head upstairs but I'm stopped by Luka.