Killer (Draco Malfoy)

1 - Back again

1 year later

From the moment I stepped off platform 9 3/4 and onto the train I knew it was going to be a disagreeable year, at best. A loud horn blew and I was walking down the long, everlasting carts of express, trying to find an empty cart, or at least one with someone quiet who I wouldn't have to converse with. I didn't want to talk about what happened last year, and I knew damn well most students in this school would jump at the chance to grill me about it. One more reason I shouldn't have come back.

I was beginning to regret my decision to come back to Hogwarts and brave out my last two years as I passed all the different students, whose eyes lingered on me like I was a ghost. Or a murderer. That look was the worst. Even the Smok click, consisting of Malfoy, Crabbe, Goyle and Blaise followed me with their gaze, like I was some sort of monster.

A lump formed in my throat as I reached the end of the train, with no luck of an empty cart in sight. Finally, I spotted one that only held a girl with long red hair, that fell down to her waist in intricate braids.

Good. Someone I didn't recognize.

"Do you mind?" I asked out of politeness as I took a seat and set my bag on the ground.

She looked up from the quibbler paper she had been reading, "of course not." My eyes flicked to the section written about me and I hoped she'd glossed over that part. The news was weeks old at this point but was still in the papers as a small paragraph with no pictures, giving brief updates about trial information.

The trial had ended six months ago. It had been seven months ongoing, ever second a new kind of hell. Every day I wondered if it would be the day I would be locked away in Azkaban for the fear of my life. Endless hours in court hearings and lawyer offices and police stations. Even the Aurors got involved.

Ironically, it was the Aurors that had saved me. A woman named Tonks had taken the stand to say there was no way a sixth year could have performed a spell so powerful and dark as to steal another's soul. Eventually, they all believed it. Especially when I took the stand and let the lies roll off my tongue.

I'm not going to deny I lied to get out of Azkaban. I'd made myself shrink and turn into a scared little girl to avoid it. I'd been told the stories. I knew how bad that place was. As much as I felt the full weight of guilt for Autumn's death, I didn't want to be locked away forever.

Maybe forcing myself to come back to Hogwarts was some twisted way I had planned to punish myself.

The girl smiled a bit too wide and looked at me expectantly. It had been almost a year since I'd reacted with someone my age and had a normal casual conversation. Mt tongue felt stiff and awkward. When I didn't deliver she filled the uncomfortable silence. "I'm Poppy. What's your name?"

"Layla."

"It's nice to meet you. Are you a sixth year too? I just transferred here from Beauxbatons, and don't know anyone here yet. I'm glad I don't have to sit alone for the whole ride now." She babbled on, blissfully unaware of my apathetic responses.

She was a bit a handful, but a sweet girl, and it might be nice to have someone to casually talk with so I don't look like too much of an outcast.

"Anything from the trolly," the plump old woman came calling around a few hours later. "Anything for you dears?" She stopped at our door.

Poppy nearly jumped out of her seat. "Yes, I'll have a package of cauldron cakes, some every flavored beans, and some chocoballs."

I remembered this time last year, when I sat at the front of the train with Autumn, Bella and Kali. We had ordered a load of sweets and took bets on who could eat the most on the way. Bella ended up getting sick from the Jelly slugs, and the crystallized pineapple started to make my tongue sore. Kali took her win with her chin held high and said we each owed her a free pass to copy one of our assignments. I wasn't upset because if anyone needed the extra help it was her. She had nearly flunked out of potions and charms last year, and only made it by the skin of her teeth after she convinced me to stay up all night with her to help finish her mounds of incomplete work.

"Nothing for me thanks." My stomach hated me for the answer but I couldn't bring myself to eat anything sweet. I could hardly bring myself to eat anything these days.

I was grateful poppy bought all that sugar when she finally crashed and there wasn't a sound except her light snore. Outside it was beginning to get dark, meaning we were almost there. Waves crashed beneath the cliff side on the other side of the window, powerful and elegant. Looking at the water made my bladder twist and I quietly opened the door and made my way to the bathroom.

"I didn't think you'd be back," a voice said from behind me as I nearly reached the washroom door. I turned to see a disgusted look on Bella's face as she stood there with her arms crossed. I wanted to ignore her and lock myself in the bathroom but she pressed on, stepping closer to me. "If you think we're all just going to forget what you did, you're wrong. I won't let anyone forget." She took a step back, sizing me up. "You don't deserve to be here." She finished and turned around, her blonde ponytail swishing behind her.

I let out a shaky breath I didn't know I was holding, and nearly slammed the washroom door shut. She was right. I didn't deserve to be here. Not after what I did. But where else could I go? My parents treated me like some kind of glass doll when I was home. They pretended everything was perfectly fine and only talked to me about vague, superficial things. I couldn't deal with it anymore. I'd rather be here, with the dirty looks and shoves. At least it was real, and honest.

There was a loud screeching sound and the train was pulled to a slow halt. I knew we had arrived, but I wasn't done with my isolation in the bathroom. I decided to wait until all the footsteps in the hallway were gone until I opened the door and headed down the empty walkways.

Dark clouds loomed over the sky outside as everyone gathered themselves in carriages. I could smell the rain that would start falling any moment. I closed my eyes and breathed it in, letting the sprinkles drop on my face.

"Layla! I thought you got lost," Poppy came up behind me, pulling me out of my meditative state. "Hurry, I want to get a good seat at the feast, I'm famished." She took my arm in hers and I was pulled into a carriage.

Mildred and Tommen sat across from us. I didn't know them well, but they were here last year so they no doubt heard what happened. I could tell by the way they stared at me and pull there eyes down when mine met with them. They wanted to ask me questions.

Why did you do it? How did you perform a spell so advanced? Why did they let you come back to school? How did it feel to kill someone?

I pushed all my thoughts away and let myself zone out for the ride, coming to life again when we stepped into the great hall. The place that was once so lively and welcoming now terrified me. I felt anxious and isolated, not knowing how to act and where to sit. How do I hold my hands?

Poppy saved me from that question when she took my arms and yanked me down in a seat right in the middle of the table. I wanted to leave. To run outside and bury myself in the forbidden forest where no one would ever find me.

On the podium Dumbledore started his long introduction speech, but I didn't listen to any of it. When the food came I barely stomached a piece of honey covered toast before I felt nauseous. Not even the buttery chicken, or rich chocolate desserts could make my mouth water.

I fiddled with the ring on my finger that had once belonged to Autumn. It was a silver band, with an emerald in the middle, wrapped in silver braids that looked like snake skin.

All over the table I was hyper aware of the whispering I heard and the eyes that lingered on me, giving me chills.

This is how it would be from now on. I was an outcast. A freak. A killer.