Killer (Draco Malfoy)

5. Vulnerability

The week was dragging on like a foot in the sand. Slow. Uneven. Dirty.

Poppy had slowly started to pull away from me, as I'd expected, but it still stung nonetheless. I still felt somewhat abandoned, even though I'd never really liked her much anyways. Her stuff had started to disappear throughout the week and never return. She was too conscious of her social appearance to tell me to my face and risk an argument, but I knew she was moving out of the room. She barely came in it anymore, save to sleep.

Just when I had started to feel like I could be invisible and able to blend in long enough to finish the year, all eyes were on me again. The second and first years whispered "bug face" to me as I passed through the halls.

Draco was the only one who talked to me anymore. Having the school bad boy by your side should have been an instant social boost, or at least put a stop to the shoving and graffiti on my door, but instead it had the opposite effect. Turned out that having the most pined-after rich boy in Slytherin as your friend just pissed all the girls off. Bella, if even possible, looked like she was even more mad when she saw me walking out with him after potions one day.

"I don't know how you're so good at potions. I thought I was the master in the Slytherin house," his voice was teasingly irritated.

"Not used to being passed up by a girl? Or are you just mad you can't buy your way to the top?" I gave him a nudge as he escorted me to the owlery so I could send off the obligatory weekly letter I'd promised to send my parents.

"I don't use my dad's money anymore," he remarked defensively and turned to stare out the window.

"Draco, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that-"

"Of course you did." He cut me off, but his voice wasn't angry. "It's okay, I know why. I was a prick. Probably still am. But at least I'm not the puppet of my father anymore."

"What do you mean?" I reached a hand out to touch his shoulder but retreated at the last second.

"He disowned me about a year ago. Well, technically I disowned myself. It's a long story so I won't bore you with it. I moved in with another relative over the summer." I kept quiet, not knowing how to react to Draco's vulnerability. I'd never seen it or even heard of it. He took my silence as a door as I hoped he would and continued. "I almost didn't come back here. I didn't want to. I just wanted to get away from everything, away from my name and start over. Be someone knew. But I have no money and the connections I have are tainted by my family name. I'd be a hypocrite if I used them. I'd need to find a job with no schooling and somewhere to live. Coming back to Hogwarts was the easiest option. Don't have to worry about housing or food. I can just focus on my school and my career."

"I'm glad you came back," the words came before I could stop them.

"Do you think I made a mistake?" He turned to me and I blinked, not understanding. "Do you think I've ruined my future by stepping away from my family?"

I chewed on the thought for a moment and began tying my letter to my owl. "I guess that just depends on what you want your future to look like."

He nodded. "I guess you're right. I've been beginning to regret it though." He pulled out a letter from his pocket. "I got this last week from my father. He's telling me how I can redeem myself to the family. How I can earn my name back. He's promised me a job with the Ministry when I graduate, a Manor of my own and practically everything else I could ever want. But it's not out of love. If I don't settle down and have an Heir the Malfoy name dies with me."

"Is that important to you?" I asked. I couldn't tell which side he leaned to at this point. He was teetered two cliffs. An easy material life with emotional baggage and a hard life with a clear mind and conscious. I didn't blame him for being torn between the two.

"I haven't decided yet. It's all I've known, the Malfoy way. My family is... complicated. You can't just be who you want. There are strings attached, standards to uphold, beliefs to maintain. I don't know if I could fake my way through it at this point."

"Good thing you still have two years to decide then," I sighed and leaned out the window, trying to see what he seemed to see buried deep in the distance mountains. What darkness haunted him in the dark crevices where the light would never touch.

"What do you want to do after school?"

He shrugged. I haven't the slightest clue. I've always just assumed I'd work for the Ministry like my father. I honestly don't even know what possibilities there are but I'd rather die than have a conversation with Professor Snape about my future."

I couldn't help but let out a laugh. It echoed down the height of the tower."The library it is then."

"I don't know which would be worse," he laughed lightly. "A day in the library or a day with Snape."

"What the matter Malfoy, forget how to read?"

"I don't want to read in that stuffy place." I saw his face turn back his usual serious expression and braced myself. "Can I ask you something?"

Please don't. "Sure." I braced for his question.

"Why did you come back? After what happened." His words were carefully selected. Nothing accusatory but I knew he'd have heard all about it from Pansy. He was dating the biggest gossip in the school.

I sighed. I couldn't shut Draco down and stonewall him. Not after what he'd just told me. I didn't want to risk losing the only person who still talked to me like a normal human in this school.

"Maybe I'm a masochist." I let out a bitter laugh. He didn't return it and waited for my answer. "It's just this feeling I've had I guess. Something calling me here. Like it's saying my name, summoning me. I know it doesn't make sense, but I just feel a pull. Like my body knows something my mind doesn't yet."

He scowled and I knew I'd confused him. But I hadn't lied. The truth was that I just didn't know myself yet.

"You change your mind yet about tomorrow? Or are you still trying to make trouble for the both of us?" I changed the subject.

"It seems I'm pretty set on trouble, Wraith."