Itstilliswhatitis

Drunken One Shots

"What are you doing? Don't read that!" Louis screeched. His cheeks were deep red. He looked mortified.

"I...why...I was looking for you and I didn't mean to read it. I didn't read much...just....why are you reading this?" Harry stuttered, embarrassed.

Louis walked over and closed the laptop. He refused to look at him.
"I wasn't reading that. I mean...fuck, I like reading Larry fanfics, okay? I found this great account on Wattpad, itstilliswhatitis. She has written 99 stories. It's just fun. A way to take my mind off things. I don't read the smut. I just...ehm..."

Harry just stared at him and then he started to giggle. Louis glanced at him, looking a little amused, a little less mortified.
"Are you telling me that one person wrote almost a hundred stories about us? That's crazy! We can't be that interesting to write about."

"Apparently we are. Her stories are pretty popular." Louis smirked while he walked over to his closet to find some clothes.

"And why do you read them? I'm honestly curious. Isn't it cringy to read about yourself?" Harry questioned.

Louis shrugged his shoulders.
"Not really, I mean, it's just fiction. It's not us, but I have to say, she does a good job portraying us. At least in the ones I've read so far." He seemed relieved that Harry wasn't angry.

"Okay? And what are they about?" Harry asked.

"I've only read like five so far, and they were drunken one-shots. Funny." Louis smirked.

He disappeared into his walking closet to get dressed. Harry waited until he was done.
"Okay, show me one."

"A drunken one shot? There's ten, two for us each." Louis smirked.

"Ooo, give me one for Niall then." Harry grinned.

Louis chuckled but grabbed the computer and sat down on the bed. Harry took a seat next to him, making sure to keep some distance between them.
"Okay, do you wanna read the one where Niall makes everyone at Walmart dance an Irish jig or the one where he leaks our sex tapes?" Louis smirked.

"He would do both! Start with the first one." Harry laughed.

Louis clicked on the story and moved the computer a little so Harry could see. Harry started to read out loud.

It was one of those nights. When he let his love of Guinness get the best of him. He was homesick, overworked, and needed to blow off some steam and Guinness was always a friend in need, that and the rest of his bandmates.

"Well, she nailed it." Louis grinned. Harry continues to read.

They were in America for the moment, and had just finished a tour. It had been Louis' idea to go out.

"Of course it was." Harry giggled.

"Heeey!" Louis protested and pouted. Harry shook his head, amused, before he continued to read out loud.

They had found an Irish pub in New York but when they arrived Niall could quickly establish that it wasn't anything remotely Irish about the place, except for the slightly offensive name of the bar. He missed his homeland and felt very disappointed but at least they had Guinness.

They walked inside and let their eyes sweep over the worn-out bar. There were only five customers there, all middle-aged men.

Harry turned to look at Louis.
"What? Oh, I'm Louis?"

"Last I checked." Harry winked.

"Okay, I'll read my lines, and Niall's. You do yours and Zayn's. I can do Liam's too considering you're the speaker voice." Louis said.

Harry laughed. Louis read the next part.

"This is perfect!" Louis said excitedly.

"This is awful!" Niall answered.

"Mate, no one here cares about us. We can just drink and relax without worrying about fans recognizing us." Louis explained.

"You nailed his accent perfectly." Harry laughed.

They continued to read the story, laughing a lot, especially when Niall tried to dance an Irish jig in the middle of Wallmart. The fic was short and they finished it quickly.
"That was funny. On more!" Harry said.

"Look at you reading fanfics." Louis smirked.

"I thought it would be weird but this is entertaining. I want to read a drunk story about me now." Harry giggled.

"Breakfast first? I'm starving." Louis said.

"Sure." Harry agreed.

They brought the computer with them and made some tea and sandwiches. They sat down at the kitchen table and read a story where Harry changed all his contacts on his phone to their spirit animal.
"Eternal baby chinchilla." Louis wheezed.

They laughed their way through the fic.
"You would totally do this!" Louis cackled when they were done.

"I have never done this." Harry protested.

"No, but you could and that's the point!" Louis grinned.

Reading fan fictions made it less awkward to be around each other.
"Okay, now I wanna read one about you." Harry said.

"Uhm, okay, one where I steal a cow or one when I steal Simon's stuff? Hey! Why are both fics about me stealing something? Not fair!" Louis huffed.

Harry burst out in a loud cackle when he was reminded of something.
"But you did! You at least tried to steal a cow once! We stopped you."

"Oh, yeah. That's true. Did Niall write this? Okay, this fic is an AU, which means alternative universe. I'm not One Direction me." Louis explained.

"I think you should read this one, considering it's about you." Harry smiled.

They got comfortable on the sofa and Louis read out loud. They laughed even harder at this one.
"That was hilarious." Harry said and dried his eyes.

"One more before lunch?" Louis asked.

"Absolutely. So, what are our choices?" Harry asked.

"Hm...let's see...That time Zayn bought a hippo costume, that time Liam thought that he was Barry Manilow..."

"Okay, we're reading both. Start with Zayn." Harry grinned.

When they were done Harry let out a happy sigh.
"Awww, Ziam! That was cute!"

"I'm not sure they would agree." Louis smirked.

"It's just fiction. Now I want to hear the one about Barry Manilow because that just sounds crazy." Harry said.

It was. They were both laughing their asses off. Harry had a hard time reading out loud.

Liam couldn't believe it. He was beyond offended. What kind of establishment hired an artist without recognizing him? He was Barry Manilow for Christ's sake! This security guard was clearly a moron.

"I'm trying really hard to picture Liam doing this." Louis laughed.

They finished the story and when the night came they had read ten drunken one-shots.
"My favorites are Liam as Barry Manilow and you and the cow." Harry grinned.

"I kind of liked the one where you flew to Paris and Liam as a stripper." Louis chuckled.

"This was a great day. I forgot all about my mortality and Corona. Time for bed?" Harry smiled.

"Yeah, good night."

"Good night."